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    Read Or Die

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Books & Reading, Canada, Extra Stupid

    (I’m at the cash register; a lady walks up and plunks six different paperbacks on the counter.)

    Customer: “Which one is the best? I only want to buy one today.”

    Me: “Well, that depends on your tastes. Is there a particular genre that you’re interested in?”

    Customer: “No, I mean which one did you like the best?”

    Me: “Well, I haven’t read these particular books, but I can tell you which one is most popular right now…”

    Customer: “Of course you’ve read them all. You work here, right? You have to know what you’re selling!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we sell thousands of different books; there’s just no way I can read them all.”

    Customer: “You’re not doing your job! You have to know! Now tell me which book was the best!”

    Me: *points randomly* “…that one.”

    Customer: “Thanks!”

    Making A Loud A-pee-l, Part 2

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (As the bookstore I work for is closing down, we have started closing down the bathrooms. At this point, they’ve shut down one stall leaving only one left in the ladies room. I go in and there’s a rather long line for the single stall.)

    Customer #1: *comes running in* “Oh… oh no, is there only one stall?”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, but the line is moving pretty quick, though.”

    Customer #1: “Oh no! This won’t do.” *rushes out*

    (A few seconds later, Customer #1 comes back with two large paper coffee cups. She goes over to a corner, sets the cups on the floor, and drops her pants.)

    Customer #1: “Okay, everyone! I really have to go! I have a bladder infection so if I don’t go right now, it won’t end well for me. Nobody look!”

    (As she goes to drop her drawers, another woman comes out of the stall. I happen to be the next in line.)

    Me: “Please! Go ahead of me! Apparently, you need the bathroom more than I do!”

    Customer #1: “Are you sure? You probably have to go back to work. I’m okay with this.”

    Me: “Nope! Just go!”

    Customer #1: “Gee, thanks!” *shuffles into the stall with her pants around her ankles*

    Related:
    Making A Loud A-pee-l

    It’s Not Getting Any Bella

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I’m looking for a book.”

    (I wait for a moment waiting for her to continue, before realizing she isn’t going to.)

    Me: “What book are you looking for?”

    Customer: “Well I don’t know the title or the author’s name.”

    Me: “Is there anything at all you know about the book?”

    Customer: “I know it has a blue cover.”

    Me: “We have several hundred volumes with blue covers. Is there anything else you can tell me to help narrow it down?”

    Customer: “Well, I think it was about a teenage girl.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that really doesn’t narrow it down much.”

    Customer: “Oh my God! You are completely unhelpful! You should know what I’m talking about!”

    Me: “I could point you in the direction of our teen section so you could have a look and see if you recognize anything.”

    Customer: “That would take far too long! I just wanted one book, and you’ve completely wasted my time.” *storms out*

    Can’t Make The Lie Stick

    | Gainesville, FL, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money

    Customer: “Is this book on sale?”

    Me: “No, sir. It doesn’t have a discount sticker, so it’s not on any of our sales.”

    Customer: “But I found it on a display where every other book had a sticker!”

    Me: “Which display? If you show me, I’ll look at the sign and see if we made a mistake.”

    Customer: “Um. I don’t know. Over there somewhere. But don’t you think it’s misleading if every other book has a sticker except this one?”

    Me: “Again, if you show me the display, I’ll figure out if you can get a discount.”

    (The customer finally leads me to the display, looking defeated. Turns out he was making that face because he knew he was lying. The display contained 25 titles: 8 of them had a discount sticker of some kind. I’m bad at math, but even I know 8 out of 25 and 24 out of 25 isn’t the same thing. And no, he did not get a discount.)

    From Hair Raising To Heart Warming

    | UK | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Top

    (I am standing behind the till, serving customers. I wear a wig; I had Alopecia when I was 16 and haven’t had any hair for three years. A male customer goes past the till, heading for the children’s section, and sees me.)

    Customer: “Oh my god, your hair looks amazing! How did you get it like that?!”

    Me: “It’s a wig, actually! I lost my hair when I was younger.”

    (The customer looks very shocked, but then suddenly gives me a thumbs up.)

    Customer: “Darling, you look smashing.”

    Me: “Thank you, you just made my day!”

    (The customer who took the time to give my self esteem a boost?! I honestly hope he wins the lottery one day!)


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