(I’m a cashier in this story at a bookstore. It’s around 10:00 am on a Saturday. At the back of the store is a Starbucks, but unfortunately, every once in a while people don’t pay attention…)

Me: *noticing the next person in line has no purchases* “Good morning, ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “One triple shot latte, please.”

Me: “Ma’am… this isn’t Starbucks.”

Customer: *looks up at me, sees there are clearly no coffee machines anywhere* “Oh! I saw the Starbucks logo in the window and just assumed…”

Me: *points to Starbucks*

Customer: *walks away quickly*

Me & Coworker: *bursts out laughing*

(I think she needed a quad shot that day!)

(Every year, the bookstore where I work does a book drive at Christmas. The books purchased by customers are donated to a local charity, which changes every year. As I am ringing up one customer:)

Me: “And would you like to purchase a book to donate to the Holiday Book Drive?”

Customer: “Where are the books going?”

Me: “This year, they’re going to the Heart and Lung Unit of [Local Kid’s Hospital].”

Customer: “Oh. No. If it was cancer, I’d donate.”

(Fortunately, the two customers next in line overheard, and both of them purchased several books to donate!)

(I work for a small, family-run bookstore. One day I’m working in the store alone when a very elderly lady comes in. I offer to help her and she tells me she’s shopping for a present for a baby. I lead her to the children’s section and leave her to have a look around.)

Customer: *after looking at several books* “What’s the idea with these bits in books?”

Me: “Oh, those are our touch and feel books! They have fur and other textured things in there for children to touch.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Uh… it’s interactive. For babies that can’t read yet.”

Customer: *clearly very confused* “So… They touch it, do they?”

Me: “Yes…”

Customer: “So, babies can’t read?”

Me: “Not normally, no.”

(The customer looked bemused and shuffled out of the shop muttering to herself. I had no idea the concept of touch-and-feel books could be so confusing!)

(I am manning the checkout at a bookstore when a woman approaches me.)

Customer: “Hello. Could you show me where the e-books are?”

Me: “As in the readers?”

Customer: “No, the books.”

Me: “The books are electronic. They’re bought online and downloaded to an e-reader.”

Customer: “I know that! But I want to know where they are!”

Me: “Well, [Brand] books are available on [Website], as well as [Other Brand]. We sell vouchers for both of them, if that’s what you’re asking for?”

Customer: *looking at me like I’m stupid* “Can someone else help me? You don’t know.”

Colleague: “Yes, madam?”

Customer: “Where are your e-books?”

Colleague: “The readers are over there.”

Customer: *huffs* “Why can no one answer this simple question?! WHERE ARE THE E-BOOKS?!”

Me: “Madam, I’ve already told you, they’re bought online.”

Customer: “Then what is all this for?!” *gestures to the entire store*

Colleague: “Umm, we’re a bookstore. A… paper… bookstore.”

Customer: “Paper? No one reads on paper anymore! If you aren’t willing to help me, I’ll take my business elsewhere!” *walks out*

(We both look at each other.)

Colleague: “Well, that’s my first crazy for the day, and I only started fifteen minutes ago!”

(I work in a nonprofit store that specializes in Christian/Catholic products. Much of our customer base are actually non-religious people, or “on the fence” believers, looking for gifts. Due to a bankruptcy years earlier and everyone buying online, the company can no longer stay afloat and we’ve started liquidation. Here’s just some of what I’ve dealt with so far:)

Customer #1: *brings in a $40 book* “So I bought this for a gift and I know she’ll give it away and I’m not wasting my money on it. Can I return it?”

Me: “Well, ma’am. The company is closing down so we can no longer take returns; however, I can do an even exchange so if you want to find something for yourself—“

Customer #1: “No! Why can’t you just return it?”

Me: “As I’ve mentioned, the company is closing…”

Customer: “That’s not MY problem!”

(She ended up buying $38 worth of stuff twenty minutes after the ordeal.)

Customer #2: *brings up two hand baskets of merchandise and has me price check half of the items and ring up the total for everything* “I’m just so sad you’re closing. I just don’t understand how this is happening.” *I tell her the total and she pauses, taking two of the cheapest things from a basket and pushes the baskets away from me* “Actually, I’ll just take these two.”

Customer #3: *walks in* “You guys are closing?! Why?”

Me: “We can’t keep up and compete with the online market.”

Customer #3: *pulls out cellphone* “Well, are you guys still honoring the five dollar coupons?”

Me: “You means the rewards? I’m sorry, but those have expired as well. The liquidation company immediately made coupons invalidated the moment the stores’ closing was publicly made known. They held keeping rewards already earned but the deadline was March 1st.”

Customer #3: *getting more agitated* “But I spent [amount needed to earn one]!”

Me: “I understand that, ma’am, but the liquidation company only agreed to keep them valid for the first week.”

Customer #3: “Well, I was in here maybe a day or two before you decided—“ *yes, she said ‘decided,’ and gestures to all of the signs* “—to do all this.”

Me: “Well, we’ve had updates and even posts here in the store that the deadline was March 1st.”

Customer #3: “Why didn’t they tell me when I was here then?! They should’ve told me!”

Me: *inside my head* “Yes. We should’ve magically predicted the future just to warn you specifically.”