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    Oh, You Mean THOSE Kinds Of Maps

    | Philadelphia, PA |

    Bookstore Customer: “Do you sell maps? You know, things with pictures of roads on them?”


    Thank God They Didn’t Watch Total Recall

    | Philadelphia, PA | Top

    Customer: “Do you have that book from that movie Les Miserababah?”

    Me:Les Miserables? Yes it would be on the 3rd floor.”

    Customer: “What section would it be in?”

    Me: “The fiction section.”

    Customer: “So nonfiction is true, and fiction is not true, right?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “How can this book be fiction if there is a movie about it?”

    Me: “Movies are not true.”

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “Yes. Movies are not true, movies are fiction.”


    Ba Dum Dum *Chhh*

    | Sacramento, CA |

    (Customer standing on top of an old, oak library ladder)

    Bookstore Customer: “If I was your attorney, I would make you get rid of this ladder.”

    Me: “If you were my attorney, I’d push you off it!”


    He Who Warps The Fabric Of Space

    | Philadelphia, PA |

    Customer at a Bookstore in Philadelphia: “I‚Äôm looking for the Boston Zagat Restaurant guide, do you have a local interest section that would have it?”

    Me: “No. Boston isn‚Äôt local. The restaurant guide would be with the rest of the Boston travel books.”

    Customer: “Well there aren‚Äôt any on the shelf.”

    Me: “We must be out of stock. I could order it for you.”

    Customer: “No. Well are there any local stores around here that would have it?”

    Me: “Boston is not local. Maybe you should wait until you go to Boston and buy it there.”

    Customer: “Good idea.”


    Bad Pickup Lines, Parte Deux

    | Philadelphia, PA |

    Bookstore Customer: “You have beautiful green eyes.”

    Me: “They’re blue.”


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