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    Ba Dum Dum *Chhh*

    | Sacramento, CA |

    (Customer standing on top of an old, oak library ladder)

    Bookstore Customer: “If I was your attorney, I would make you get rid of this ladder.”

    Me: “If you were my attorney, I’d push you off it!”

    Source

    He Who Warps The Fabric Of Space

    | Philadelphia, PA |

    Customer at a Bookstore in Philadelphia: “I‚Äôm looking for the Boston Zagat Restaurant guide, do you have a local interest section that would have it?”

    Me: “No. Boston isn‚Äôt local. The restaurant guide would be with the rest of the Boston travel books.”

    Customer: “Well there aren‚Äôt any on the shelf.”

    Me: “We must be out of stock. I could order it for you.”

    Customer: “No. Well are there any local stores around here that would have it?”

    Me: “Boston is not local. Maybe you should wait until you go to Boston and buy it there.”

    Customer: “Good idea.”

    Source

    Bad Pickup Lines, Parte Deux

    | Philadelphia, PA |

    Bookstore Customer: “You have beautiful green eyes.”

    Me: “They’re blue.”

    Source

    No, That’s Our Escalator of Doom

    | Philadelphia, PA | Top

    Customer (pointing to up escalator): “How do I go up? This way?”

    Source

    Please See The “Time Travel” Section

    | Tacoma, WA | Top

    Customer: “Do you have a picture book of dinosaurs?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (We walk to the dinosaur books and I show him many books with various sketches and paintings of dinosaurs)

    Customer: “No, not pictures…PHOTOGRAPHS. Photos of dinosaurs, please. Where are those?”

    Source

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