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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • And They Wonder Why Customer Service Is Slow

    | Boston, MA, USA |

    Customer: “WHERE ARE MY BOOKS?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I had a big pile of books and I put them on that bench and now they’re gone!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry about that ma’am. See, a lot of customers just leave books around the store so we regularly walk around and put away books that are left out.”

    Customer: “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”

    Me: “To keep the store in some kind of logical order. What books were they? I’ll help you find them again.”

    Customer: “I don’t REMEMBER! You tell ME what books they were!”

    Me: “I have no idea what books you had ma’am, but I can walk around the store with you and see if we can jog your memory.”

    Customer: “I have foot problems! I’m very old! I can’t walk around the store all over again! Find my books!”

    (At this point a manager intervenes and between him and 3 other employees we actually find all 7 of the books this lady wanted. She didn’t say thank you, proceeds to walk around the store without any problem, leaves the books on the same bench again and then leaves the store without buying anything.)

    Everyone Loves A Cynic

    | Toronto, Canada |

    (I have been cleaning up the magazine section for over an hour, as people leave piles of magazines all over the store rather than buying them or putting them back. Two women approach me as I’m working.)

    Woman #1: “Excuse me, didn’t you have chairs here in this section before?”

    Me: “Yes we did, but we took them away because this area isn’t monitored as often and it results in a large mess and damaged products.”

    Woman #2, after leaving a pile of magazines on the floor: “Oh, so you mean you got lazy.”

    (I try hard to not roll up a magazine and bop her on the head with it.)

    So Much For That First Impression

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    (We are accustomed to seeing celebrities walk into our store. One day, Forest Whitaker came in looking for a book. We played it cool and treated him like any other customer. Just as he was leaving, one of our regulars recognized him.)

    Customer: “Oh my god! You’re Forest Whitaker! You were in [movie]!”

    Forest: “No, I wasn’t.”

    No, Only In The Original Klingon

    | North Attleboro, MA, USA |

    Me, picking up phone: “*** Book and Music…can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do you have Shakespeare in English?”

    Oh, How The Truth Doth Sting

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Top

    (As a result of the US/Canadian currency parity, a lot of customers have been angry that they have to pay the Canadian price instead of the cheaper US price.)

    Customer: “Which price do I have to pay: the American or Canadian?”

    Coworker: “I’m afraid you have to pay the Canadian price.”

    Customer: *angrily* “Why?”

    Coworker: “Quite simply, we buy from Canadian publishers with Canadian money. Also, that book was bought before the price parity, therefore, to sell at the American price would mean that we would not be making any money.”

    Customer: “Well, I want you to explain to my 7 year old daughter why she’s not getting this book for Christmas.”

    Me: “…because her dad is a cheapskate?”

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