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    No, Only In The Original Klingon

    | North Attleboro, MA, USA |

    Me, picking up phone: “*** Book and Music…can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do you have Shakespeare in English?”

    Oh, How The Truth Doth Sting

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Top

    (As a result of the US/Canadian currency parity, a lot of customers have been angry that they have to pay the Canadian price instead of the cheaper US price.)

    Customer: “Which price do I have to pay: the American or Canadian?”

    Coworker: “I’m afraid you have to pay the Canadian price.”

    Customer: *angrily* “Why?”

    Coworker: “Quite simply, we buy from Canadian publishers with Canadian money. Also, that book was bought before the price parity, therefore, to sell at the American price would mean that we would not be making any money.”

    Customer: “Well, I want you to explain to my 7 year old daughter why she’s not getting this book for Christmas.”

    Me: “…because her dad is a cheapskate?”

    What Your Broker Does On His Day Off

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    (Around 11:00AM, a customer walks into my bookstore.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a good book on financial planning.”

    Me: “Well, this book here is very popular.” *pointing to the book on the shelf*

    (The customer stares at the shelf, obviously confused.)

    Customer: “You are going to have to show me again…I’m too drunk to see.”

    The Honest Crook

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    (I work in the music section of a bookstore. One day, we caught one of our regulars shoplifting and banned him. The very next day, he walks in as if nothing happened.)

    Me: “Dude, you aren’t allowed to be here. You were banned.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “You stole a CD from me.”

    Customer: “But I gave it back!”

    If Dr. Phil Has Hair, I’m A Friggin’ Sasquatch

    | Dallas, TX, USA |

    Customer: “I’m looking for that book by the guy with the hair.”

    Me: “The…guy with the hair?”

    Customer: “Yeah. I saw it on TV this morning. It has a red cover, I think…”

    Me: “What was it about?”

    Customer: “Ummm…I think it was about losing weight?”

    Me, making an intuitive leap: “Was it The Ultimate Weight Loss Solution by Dr. Phil McGraw?”

    Customer: “That’s it!”

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    You Be Telepathic So I Can Be Lazy
    (Telepathic) Help Wanted

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