Copycats…and Copy Dogs, Copy Sheep…

| New York, USA | Crazy Requests, Math & Science, Pets & Animals

Customer: “I need a book on cloning.”

Me: “Okay…would you like a book on the ethics of cloning, or maybe the history of it?”

Customer: “No, I need a how-to book on cloning animals.”

Me: “Um…cloning is a pretty complicated process. You’ll need several years of college education to be able to clone an animal.”

Customer: “No you don’t! That’s just what we’ve been told! I read about it, and you can do it with a turkey baster in your kitchen!”

Me: “I think you’re thinking of artificial insemination…”

Customer: “NO I’M NOT! I NEED TO CLONE MY DOG!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I have a boy dog, and I love him very much, but he’s a bad dog. I heard that girl dogs are much nicer, so I want to clone my dog and make a girl dog! STOP HIDING THE BOOKS FROM ME!!!”

Me: *points to back corner* “Our science section is that way. Go knock yourself out.”

Next Customer In Line: “How the h*** did you just keep your cool through that?”

The Ghost Of Christmas Freebies

| Toronto, Canada | Uncategorized

(At the cash till beside me I hear this exchange.)

Customer: “You should be giving out candy canes.”

Coworker: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “It’s Christmas, you should be in the Christmas spirit! I want to know why you aren’t handing out candy!”

Coworker: “Well, it’s very busy today and we’re understaffed. If we were to take someone off of cash, people would have to wait far too long to purchase their books.”

Customer: “I don’t want to hear your excuses! Let me talk to your manager.”

Coworker: “He’s right there, two tills down.”

(My coworker takes the next person in line.)

Customer #2: “What was she complaining about?”

Coworker: “She was complaining that she wasn’t getting any free candy.”

Customer #2: *jokingly* “In that case, can I have a free puppy?”

Perhaps The Wolves Are Still Available To Babysit Tonight…

| Fairbanks, AK, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: *with child in tow* “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Me: “Yes, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “There’s no one in your children’s department.”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “There’s usually one of you people in the kids’ department.”

Me: “Yes…our lead Children’s Zoning person called out today…”

Customer: “Well then, just who is supposed to watch the children?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, what do you mean?”

Customer: “Who’s going to watch the children? I leave my little girl over there while I shop, and I expect someone to watch her.”

Me: “…”

Customer: In your children’s department. The DAYCARE.”

Me: “Ma’am…we don’t have a daycare…”

Customer: “…” *walks away*

Old School Hustlers

| Burnsville, MN, USA | Top

(A customer approaches the bookstore counter with an adult magazine.)

Customer 2, from behind Customer 1: “What’s the matter, don’t you have a computer?”

You Should Meet Mr. For Dummies

| Simsbury, CT, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you have any Feng Shui books?”

Me: “Yes, let me show you where they are.”

(I take woman to the Feng Shui section.)

Customer: “Wow, she wrote a lot of books!”

Me: “Who did?”

Customer: “Miss Feng Shui.”

Me: “Yes… yes she did.”

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