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    Everyone Loves A Cynic

    | Toronto, Canada |

    (I have been cleaning up the magazine section for over an hour, as people leave piles of magazines all over the store rather than buying them or putting them back. Two women approach me as I’m working.)

    Woman #1: “Excuse me, didn’t you have chairs here in this section before?”

    Me: “Yes we did, but we took them away because this area isn’t monitored as often and it results in a large mess and damaged products.”

    Woman #2, after leaving a pile of magazines on the floor: “Oh, so you mean you got lazy.”

    (I try hard to not roll up a magazine and bop her on the head with it.)

    So Much For That First Impression

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    (We are accustomed to seeing celebrities walk into our store. One day, Forest Whitaker came in looking for a book. We played it cool and treated him like any other customer. Just as he was leaving, one of our regulars recognized him.)

    Customer: “Oh my god! You’re Forest Whitaker! You were in [movie]!”

    Forest: “No, I wasn’t.”

    No, Only In The Original Klingon

    | North Attleboro, MA, USA |

    Me, picking up phone: “*** Book and Music…can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do you have Shakespeare in English?”

    Oh, How The Truth Doth Sting

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Top

    (As a result of the US/Canadian currency parity, a lot of customers have been angry that they have to pay the Canadian price instead of the cheaper US price.)

    Customer: “Which price do I have to pay: the American or Canadian?”

    Coworker: “I’m afraid you have to pay the Canadian price.”

    Customer: *angrily* “Why?”

    Coworker: “Quite simply, we buy from Canadian publishers with Canadian money. Also, that book was bought before the price parity, therefore, to sell at the American price would mean that we would not be making any money.”

    Customer: “Well, I want you to explain to my 7 year old daughter why she’s not getting this book for Christmas.”

    Me: “…because her dad is a cheapskate?”

    What Your Broker Does On His Day Off

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    (Around 11:00AM, a customer walks into my bookstore.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a good book on financial planning.”

    Me: “Well, this book here is very popular.” *pointing to the book on the shelf*

    (The customer stares at the shelf, obviously confused.)

    Customer: “You are going to have to show me again…I’m too drunk to see.”

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