Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (2,986 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    We Only Have The Other Kind

    | Kansas, USA |

    Customer: “How much are your large-print Bibles?”

    Me: “Various prices – what version are you looking for?”

    Customer: “A Holy Bible.”

    Always Imitated, Never Duplicated

    | Boston, MA, USA |

    Customer: “Do you have a copy of **** in stock?”

    Me: “Yes, we do. Would you like me to put it on hold for you?”

    Customer: “Yes. Also, I was emailed a coupon that I’d like to use to buy that book, but my printer is broken. Is there anything you can do?”

    Me: “Sure, just write down the coupon code and the amount you’ll be saving. As long as we can verify these two things in the system, our computers will allow the discount.”

    Customer: “Should I draw the bar code for you?”

    Me: “I’m sorry? Come again?”

    Customer: “Would it help if I drew the bar code?”

    Me: “No…the coupon code will do just fine.”

    Customer: “Thanks!”

    The Joy Of Cooking Without Opposable Thumbs

    , | Berlin, VT, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me…where is your dog cookbook section?”

    Me: “Um…dog cookbooks?”

    Customer: “Yes. Where are they located?”

    Me: “We don’t have a dog cookbook section in the store. I don’t think we have any dog cookbooks at all.”

    Customer: *stares blankly* “You can’t be serious.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, miss. I might be able to order-”

    Customer: *interrupting* “YOU DON’T HAVE ANY DOG COOKBOOKS? THIS IS RIDICULOUS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY DOG FOR CHRISTMAS?”

    Me: “Have you considered a nice set of dog cookware?”

    Customer: *storms out*

    Conspiracy Weary

    | Peterborough, NH, USA |

    (When special order books come in we call the customers, but we don’t normally say the book’s title over the phone. A man came in one day to pick up his special order – some book about 9/11.)

    Customer: “I have a complaint about my order.”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer: “When the woman called me, she said the title of my book in the message.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, is that a problem?”

    Customer: “Well, you see, the government’s tapping my phone. I don’t want them to know that I know what they’re up to.”

    Me: “Um…Ok, sir. I’m sorry about that. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

    Customer: “Thanks.”

    Me: “…would you like a bag, sir?”

    Customer: *starts laughing* “No thanks. I’m not that paranoid!”

    May I Recommend A Good Crime Drama While I Have You?

    | Kern County, CA, USA |

    (90% of the calls the bookstore receives are to ask our hours, check stock, or to ask when a book will be released. With that in mind, the phone rings one afternoon.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to know a release date.”

    Me: “Sure, what is the title?”

    Customer: *gives a strange number, not the type bookstores use*

    Me: “What? Is that a title?”

    (The customer gives the number again, and I am not finding anything like it in the computer database.)

    Me: “I don’t know what you mean.”

    Customer: “A release date! I need to know when my son will be released.”

    (It’s then that I realize she means Booking, not Books.)

    Me: “Uh, we’re a book store.”

    Customer: “What number is this?”

    Me: *gives the store phone number*

    Customer: “I didn’t call that number.” *hangs up*

    Page 64/75First...6263646566...Last