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    The Building Block(heads) Of Life

    | Durham, NC, USA |

    Customer: “I’m looking for some school books.”

    Me: “Alright, what sort of books are you looking for?”

    Customer: *sigh* “Some chemistry guides, I guess.”

    Me: “Alright, let’s head over and look at a few different guides.”

    (I take her to the chemistry section of the bookstore.)

    Customer: “I’m just not excited to be taking this course.”

    Me: “Are you’re worried that it will be too difficult?”

    Customer: “Oh, no! I just don’t want to be forced to learn about something I don’t believe in.”

    Me: “Er…sorry? What’s your degree program?”

    Customer: “I’m in vet school. I’ve already done all of my bio classes, and i really loved them, but I’m really not interested in learning about chemicals and how they harm the Earth and stuff.”

    Me: “That’s not really what chemistry is about, you know.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? Just look at the name: CHEM-istry. Like, CHEM-ical. As in, harmful to all life!”

    Me: “But you said you enjoyed your biology courses, so why not your chemistry? They’re both really important sciences, especially for your major.”

    Customer: “I just don’t get why I have to learn about chemicals and stuff! biology is different – that’s Mother Nature! Not some science that was made up in a lab.”

    Me: “Well, think about what life is, when you break it down. What helps build life?”

    Customer: “Biology.”

    Me:” Right! Back up some now.”

    Customer: “…Atoms?”

    Me: “Now come back up a bit. After atoms, but before biology.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “Chemistry! What happens when different atoms come together? Chemical reactions. That’s all part of chemistry. You can’t have biology without chemistry – it’s a natural part of life.”

    Customer: *brightens up* “I had no idea! Now I can’t wait to take chemistry!”

    It’s Not An Otto Biography

    | Marietta, GA, USA |

    Me: “What can I help you find today?”

    Customer: “Do you guys have The Diary of Anne Frank?”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s right over here in Biographies under ‘F’. Let me grab it for you.”

    Customer: “Oh, good! I’ve always wondered who wrote that!”

    Big Brother Strikes Again

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Can I have today’s New York Times?”

    Me: “Sure.” *grabbing a newspaper*

    Customer: *spotting a headline* “This government and their invasion of privacy! The mind-control devices are next, mark my word.”

    Me: *thinking he was kidding* “I wouldn’t doubt it, sir.”

    Customer: “Yep, when I was in the service, they experimented on me with those. Me and few other guys, we got chips implanted in our heads, and they conducted mind-control tests on us. It’s still in there. *points at scar on forehead and laughs* “They’re always watching!”

    Shopping, Time Travel…It’s Going To Be A Busy Day

    | Portland, OR, USA |

    (It’s 5:30am and I’m in the back office, getting register tills ready for the day, when the store phone rings.)

    Caller: “Hi, can you tell me what today is?”

    Me: “Uh, Saturday. Can I help you with something?”

    Caller: “Hmm. What’s the date?”

    Me: “March 19th.”

    Caller: “But what YEAR?”

    Me: “…2008. Sir, is there something I can help you with?”

    Caller: “What day is it again?”

    Me: *getting frustrated* “Sir, it’s Saturday, March 19th, 2008 and it’s 5:34am, in the morning. Now is there something here in the bookstore I can help you with?”

    Caller: “What? Oh, yeah. I just want to put a CD on hold.”

    Speechless In Savannah

    | Savannah, GA, USA |

    Me: “Hello, sir. This is Kristy and I’m calling to let you know the book you ordered has come in.”

    Customer: “Can I ask your name?”

    Me: “Um, Kristy?”

    Customer: “Well Kristy, I’m Steve. We’ve never met, but I can tell by your voice that you’re a beautiful person with pretty eyes. And I’m going to tell you that in the years you work at that store, one day a guy will come in and it might be me, but I won’t tell you my name so you’ll never know it was me and you’ll always think, ‘I wonder if that was that Steve guy?’ But if you guess, I’ll take you out to dinner. You have a good day now.”

    Me: “…”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

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