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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    A Major Problem With A Minor Request

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Good afternoon, [bookstore]!”

    Caller: “Hi, I have to do a project where I read to kids and they respond. Do you have that?”

    Me: “You need a book to read to them? Sure! We have plenty of children’s books.”

    Caller: “No, I need to read to kids and have them respond.”

    Me: “Right, we have plenty of books you could chose from to read to them.”

    Caller: “No, I need to read to kids and have them respond.”

    Me: “So what exactly is it that you need from us?”

    Caller: “Can I do that there?”

    Me: “Well, we don’t provide the children.”

    Caller: *disappointed* “Oh, okay. Bye.”

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    | Exton, PA, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I’m going on a 25 hour plane ride, and I was just trying to find something to read.”

    Me: “Okay, what kind of books do you read?”

    Customer: “Young adult stuff, like romance stuff.  OH!  Or something with vampires.”

    (I walk her over to the young adult section.  And show her a series with vampires. There are six books in the series and each book is quite small–not even 200 pages.)

    Me: “Well, you might like this series. They’re easy books to read, but really good. I’ve read them.”

    Customer: *flips through book* “It seems boring.”

    Me: “Oh. Well, I can assure you it’s not.  They are quite action-packed.”

    Customer: “I mean it looks wordy. Like, there’s a lot of words in it.”

    Me: “Well, yeah…most books have words in them.”

    Customer: “Hmm…I’ll think about it.”

    (She ended up buying 3 teen magazines.)

    A Revelatory Thought

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have an important question.”

    Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “You know a lot about the Bible, right?”

    Me: “Well, not everything entirely.”

    Customer: “Okay. Can you tell me what part of the Bible does Narnia come in?”

    Rejection Incognito

    | New York, NY, USA | Uncategorized

    (A young boy walks in. It is February.)

    Me: “Hello, is there something I can help you find today?”

    Customer: “Hi, do you remember me?”

    Me: “No, sir, not really.”

    Customer: “C’mon, you’re going to tell me you don’t remember me? Remember, I came during the summer! Oh, I know why!” *takes off hat* “How about now?”

    Me: “Sorry, still nothing. Is there anything I can help you find though?”

    Customer: “No, I just came in to see if you remembered me.” *walks out dejected*

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2

    | Boston, MA, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “You’ve got an accent.”

    Me: “Yeah, I’ve heard that. I’m not from here.”

    Customer: “You’re American?”

    Me: “Yeah, I’m from upstate New York.”

    Customer: “But American, right? You’ve got a visa? You need one to work here?”

    Me: “No, I don’t have a visa–”

    Customer: “Holy s***! You’re illegal? They know you’re illegal here?”

    Me: “I’m not illegal. I’m from upstate New York, near Canada.”

    Customer: “Oh, if you’re from Canada, you’re not really illegal then. Canada’s like America, just different. Welcome to our country. I’m looking for a book. You probably only read books in Canadian, but I can help you with the language and you can find me a book here.”

    Canada: America’s Hat

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