Customers always come up with the most creative names for the act of tapping the card on the terminal in order to pay. (P-pad, By-pass, Paypal, etc.) This, however, was one we hadn’t heard yet.
Customer: “Do you have the ‘touch down?'” *Gestures with his card*
I work in a Christian bookstore. While we don’t belong to a specific church, we were founded by a Protestant affiliate so we don’t carry Catholic items. Sometimes Catholics will come in looking for rosaries, saint medallions, or the Catholic Bible. We politely tell them we don’t carry those and then inform them of the closest Catholic shop. Most are very nice about that, but this one time is different.
My coworker, a pastor, walks up to the customer and asks if she needs help.
Customer: “Yes, where are your Catholic bibles?”
Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t carry any.”
Customer: “What? But why not?”
Coworker: “That would be determined by corporate.”
Customer: “You should carry it! The Catholics made the Bible! No one would have the Bible without the Catholics!”
She goes on for a while about how the Catholics wrote the Bible. Both my coworker and I have to stand there silently as she berates us. Eventually, our manager comes over to talk to her. My coworker disappears to the back of the store.
She leaves, unsatisfied, but there is nothing we can do. Then, my coworker comes up with a mischievous look on his face, hiding something behind his back.
Coworker: “Oh, did she leave?”
Me: “Yes.”
Coworker: “A shame. I thought she might like this.”
He held up a beautiful leather-bound edition of Martin Luther’s writings. I couldn’t help but laugh. Who knew pastors had such a devilish sense of humor?
Related:
She’s A Catho-holic
I’m a customer at a big-name bookstore, browsing, when I witness an older man getting help from an employee in the music/movie section.
Customer: “Can I pay for this record here?”
Employee: “No, sir, these registers haven’t been turned on today. I can ring you up over there, though.”
The man grumbles but follows.
Customer: “I guess people just don’t like vinyl. That’s why they stopped making them, you know, back in the day.”
The employee just makes non-committal sounds and I lose track of them as I go about my own business. However, as I head up to the register later, I see this man standing with his hands on his hips by the customer service desk.
Customer: “Where’s my copy? Hey! Where’s my copy?”
He practically barks at the girl on the desk. I have no idea what he is referring to.
Employee: “She’ll be right back with it, sir.”
He makes a disgusted sound and turns, looking fed up.
Customer: “Ridiculous.”
As I get to the line, I see him stalk toward someone and he instantly lights into her.
Customer: “You know this is unacceptable! Where is your store manager?”
Employee: “He’s in a meeting, but I’m a manager. I—”
Customer: “No, you write his name and number down. I’ll call him! I had to hoof it all the way from over there to here just to check out. That is plain ridiculous! You’ve lost a sale! You tell your manager you’ve lost a sale!”
Employee: “Sir, I think you should leave this store.”
Customer: “Oh, I will, and I won’t be back. I hope you go out of business!”
Employee: “Sir, you are being rude. Please leave.”
Customer: “And you can go to h***!”
He stalked off, muttering all the way out the door, while I and a few others in line just watched him go, shaking our heads and exchanging “Did that really just happen?” glances.
The manager sighed heavily and apologized to those of us nearby. I told her I was just glad that she could talk back to that guy and not put up with his nonsense. All that just because a few registers weren’t open during a slow day?
Our bookshop sells e-readers, and like a lot of electronic devices, they are relatively expensive.
Customer: “No, €179 is too much for it. Can’t you give me a discount?”
Me: “Sorry, I can’t give discounts on these.”
She thinks about it for a while and then her face lights up.
Customer: “I produced an audiobook.”
Me: “That’s lovely?”
Customer: “It’s a beautiful composition of texts and music, perfect for the Christmas season. It comes up to €90. What do you say, I exchange an audiobook for an e-reader?”
Me: *Pause* “We’re a company. We sell products, not exchange goods. Besides, the math doesn’t add up.”
Customer: “But it’s so expensive.”
Me: “I’ll let you think about it for a moment.”
She eventually left!
I’ve just given my books to the cashier at the local used bookstore when the power goes out. After some mutual, “Oh, this sucks,” on both our parts, the cashier places a call to his boss, who tells him to go ahead and check out manually. So he pulls out a calculator and starts tallying up my total while I continue to browse.
There are enough windows in the building that it’s dim but not very dark inside. While I’m waiting for him to finish, three more customers wander in, and the following conversation takes place in an almost identical fashion each time.
Customer: “Hello, are you open today?”
Cashier: “Yes, we’re open. But there’s a power outage, so we can only take cash, not cards.”
Customer: “Oh… is that why it’s so dark in here?”
No, people, the store just likes to make you shop in the dark. I paid for my books and left before the power was restored, so I can only imagine how many more times the poor cashier had that same conversation before the lights came back on.
