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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Not Going Buy The Book = Not Going To Buy The Book

    | Salem, OR, USA | Books & Reading

    Me: “Hey, how are you doing today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I put a stack of books on hold up here three weeks ago.”

    Me: “Our policy states we can only hold books for 24 hours. So, there most likely not up here.”

    Customer: “You were the girl that put them on hold. You told me you could hold them till I came back. Don’t you remember?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I always let customers now about our 24 hour policy. We can’t hold their books for 3 weeks. I can get someone over here to help you find the books again if you’d like.”

    Customer: “Well, what were they?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “What books did I put on hold!? That was three weeks ago. How the h*** am I suppose to remember?”

    It’s All Dutch To Me

    | Eindhoven, Netherlands | Canada, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “Hey, can I buy these, please?”

    Me: “Sure. That’ll be 10 euros.”

    (The customer hands me 10 Canadian dollars.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t take that currency.”

    Customer: “What? Why?”

    Me: “Because this isn’t Canada.”

    Customer: “But I thought you guys use Canadian dollars? My friend said they use Canadian dollars outside the US.”

    Me: “We don’t. We use Euros here.”

    Customer: “Since when?”

    Me: “Since 2002. Although before that, we used guilders, so your dollars would still be useless.”

    Customer: “But they’re Canadian dollars!”

    Me: “But this isn’t Canada.”

    (At this point, I take a second look at the magazines he’s trying to buy.)

    Me: ” Excuse me, but do you speak Dutch?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Then why are you buying Dutch magazines?”

    Customer: “I thought they’d be in English.”

    Me: “Because they speak English in Canada?”

    Customer: *blushing* “Yeah.”

    Twilight Vs Holy Light

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, Religion, Top

    (A young woman, about 20 years old, comes up to the counter holding a copy of The Bible.)

    Me: “Hi, did you find everything you needed today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, hey, can you tell me what this is about?”

    Me: “The Bible?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what’s it about?”

    Me: “The Bible has two parts, the Old Testament which is scriptures and the New Testament, which contains the story of Jesus’ life and works as told through the gospels, written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.”

    Customer: “Huh. Is it any good?”

    Me: “It’s pretty popular.”

    Customer: “Nah, I’ll just get this one instead.” *puts a copy of Twilight on the counter*

    Being The President Sucks

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Books & Reading, History, Politics

    Customer: “Do you have a copy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

    Me: “I’m not sure, let me check.” *I check our bestsellers section* “No sir, not at this time.”

    Customer: “But did you look back in the history section?”

    Me: “For Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “No, I did not.”

    Limping Through College

    | Flint, MI, USA | Books & Reading, School

    Customer: “Can you help me find the book for my class?”

    Me: “Sure. Do you have your course schedule?”

    Customer: “Uh, no. Why?”

    Me: “They tell me what books are needed for each class.”

    Customer: “Cool.”

    Me: “So, I need to know what class you’re taking.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “English, Math, Physics, Biology? If you can tell me what the course is, we might be able to find it that way.”

    Customer: “Sorry, dude. I’m new to this whole college thing.”

    Me: “How about your professor’s name? We’ve got quite a few professors that only teach one class.”

    Customer: “My class is at night. Wednesdays, I think. And my teacher is a lady, with a limp.”

    Me: *Looking at a course card.* “I found it! Wednesday nights, with the lady who limps.”

    Customer: “Bro, you’re a life saver.”

    Me: “I was kidding.”

    Customer: “So, that’s not my book then?”


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