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    One Store To Sell Them All, And In The Darkness Bind Them

    | Woodinville, WA, USA | Books & Reading

    (A customer walks up to counter and sets down a bag from a competitor’s store, pulls out competitor’s receipt, and starts unloading books with competitor’s sticker on them.)

    Customer: “I’d like to return these.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t take these back here. We’re [bookstore].”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “These books are from [competitor]. I can’t do this return.”

    Customer: “But don’t you have a store by the mall?”

    Me: “We do have a location a few blocks away from the mall, but the store inside the mall is actually [competitor].”

    Customer: “So you won’t take these back for me?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, since they weren’t purchased from us. You’ll need to take them back to [competitor] and they’ll be able to help you.”

    Customer: *surprised* “I thought all bookstores were the same!”

    I Am 16 Going On 17

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Money

    Customer: “The price printed on the back says $16. Why are you charging me extra?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am. This book costs $17. Your copy seems to contain a printing error. However, since we didn’t catch the mistake and your copy does say $16, I’d be happy to let you have the book for this price.”

    (The customer pays $16 for the book and walks away. A few minutes later she comes back holding another copy.)

    Customer: “I just wanted to let you know that I found another copy, and this one does say $17 on the back. How is this possible? Aren’t they all supposed to be identical?”

    Me: “Warehouses sometimes hold inventory that comes from more than one print run. That’s probably what happened here. They must have had some wrongly priced copies mixed in with the rest of the stock.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see. I am going to put the copy I just bought back on the shelf and take this one, okay? It’s the same book, so it shouldn’t make a difference to you.”

    Me: “We have let you have the book for the price printed on the cover, so I’m not sure I understand what the problem is.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, there is no problem. It’s just that I’m buying this for a friend as a gift and I want her to think I paid $17.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you do understand that since this copy does not contain a pricing error, you will not be entitled to the discounted price.”

    Customer: “So if I get the copy that isn’t defective, I’ll have to pay full price?”

    Me: “That’s correct. Do you still want to exchange your copy for this one?”

    Customer: “Forget it. She’s not that good a friend.”

    Some Guys Are Made Of The Right Stuff

    | Carbondale, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Top

    Customer: “Excuse me, could you help me find a book on grieving? My husband just died.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. They’re right over here.”

    (I lead her over to the death and grieving books.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you find today?”

    Customer: “Actually yes. I’m also looking for a book on taxidermy.”

    Jane Austen-tacious

    | Connecticut, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV

    Customer: “Hi. Maybe you can help me. I saw a movie last night on TV. It was about those things that Oprah does? Do you know what it was?”

    Me: “What happened in the movie?”

    Customer: “Well, they read books, but only by this one person who writes books.”

    Me: “Like a book club?”

    Customer: “Yes! A book club! But the movie came from a book. What was the title?”

    Me: “Was it The Jane Austin Book Club?”

    Customer: “Yes! Would you have any books by Jane Austen?”

    Me: “Absolutely!”

    (I take her to our Jane Austen books. She is very excited and starts flipping through them.)

    Customer: “Hey, wait! There’s no photo of her! I want to see what she looks like!”

    Me: “I’m afraid there aren’t any photos of her.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    Me: “She lived two hundred years ago.”

    Customer: “Oh! So do all of her books take place in her time?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “So…she didn’t write The Jane Austen Book Club?”

    Not Going Buy The Book = Not Going To Buy The Book

    | Salem, OR, USA | Books & Reading

    Me: “Hey, how are you doing today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I put a stack of books on hold up here three weeks ago.”

    Me: “Our policy states we can only hold books for 24 hours. So, there most likely not up here.”

    Customer: “You were the girl that put them on hold. You told me you could hold them till I came back. Don’t you remember?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I always let customers now about our 24 hour policy. We can’t hold their books for 3 weeks. I can get someone over here to help you find the books again if you’d like.”

    Customer: “Well, what were they?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “What books did I put on hold!? That was three weeks ago. How the h*** am I suppose to remember?”


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