Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,959 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Go Directly To School, Do Not Pass Go

    | Oxford, UK | Books & Reading, Family & Kids

    Customer: “Hi, I need to buy Monopoly.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t actually sell board games.”

    Customer: “Oh? Why not?”

    Me: “Well, this is a bookshop. We pretty much only sell books.”

    Customer: “Can I get the book of Monopoly?”

    Me: “I’m not sure we have any books about Monopoly the game, but I can have a look on our system.” *I check the system* “Yes, I’m sorry. The only books we have are about monopolies in finance.”

    Customer: “Maybe that will do? Does it come with the hat and everything?”

    Me: “It’s a book, not a board game so there aren’t any player pieces or anything, and we don’t actually have any books about the board game monopoly either. I think if you’re interested in Monopoly the game, you should go to [store] across the street.”

    Customer: “Okay, maybe I’ll try that. While I’m here though, do you have that one with the candlestick and the library?”

    Me: “Cluedo?” (Called ‘Clue’ in the USA.) “Again, I’m afraid it’s a board game so [store] across the street is your best bet.”

    Customer: “How do you expect kids to like reading when you don’t sell anything they’d want to read?!”

    (Not One Of) History’s Mysteries

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, History, Top

    (I am helping a little boy find a children’s book on Native American history for a book report.)

    Me: “I think this one will come in handy. It’s all about the different Native American tribes and traditions. It even includes a large map showing where the Native American tribes lived.”

    Little Boy: “Thank you!”

    (He walks away with his book and an adult customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Why did you do that?”

    Me: “Do what?”

    Customer: “Tell him those are real.”

    Me: “Native Americans?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Because they are real.”

    Customer: “No! They only exist in movies with cowboys!”

    Me: “I can assure you that Native Americans exist.”

    Customer: *mocking* “I suppose you believe cowboys really existed, too?”

    Had Too Many Muska-Beers

    | Nanaimo, B.C., Canada | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Language & Words

    Me: “Can I help you sir?”

    Customer: “Yes do you have any books by Alexander Dumba**?”

    Me: “I think you mean Alexandre Dumas?”

    Customer: “Oh, is that how you say it?”

    Cinnamon Puns

    | North Bay, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Language & Words, Top

    Customer: “Our daughter is looking for a book called Antonyms and Cinnamons.”

    (I type it into our search system, but no dice.)

    Me: “Would you know the author’s name?”

    Customer: “No, I forget. It was something weird though. She wrote it down, but I forget.”

    Me: “Might you mean Antonyms and Synonyms?”

    Customer: “Yes! That’s it!”

    (I search again.)

    Me: “Nothing with that exact title is coming up. Was there more to it?”

    Customer: “The author’s name. It was something funny. Sounded like a dinosaur. Wait, I think I might have it here.”

    (She searches through her pockets and fishes out a little folded piece of paper.)

    Customer: “Here it is. Antonyms and Cinnamons by Theo Saurus!’”

    Can’t See The Wood In The Trees

    | Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout

    ( I am ringing up a customer. I pick up a plastic bag and hold it up.)

    Me: “Do you need a bag?”

    Customer: “No, thanks. I’ll save a tree.”

    Me: *jokingly* “Yeah, those plastic trees are really endangered.”

    Customer: *looking shocked and worried* “They are?!”


    Page 43/72First...4142434445...Last