Pseudo-Named And Shamed

| London, UK | Uncategorized

(I’m an author doing a book signing in a shop. I’m female with an obviously female name. The name is also on the book. There’s also a large poster with my name and photo on.)

Customer: “When’s he going to get here?”

Me: “Who?”

Customer: “The author.”

Me: “I’m the author.”

Customer: “But, you’re a woman.”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Oh, I get it. You’re one of them pseudonym things.”

They Should Read More

| Des Moines, IA, USA | Uncategorized

(I sell e-readers at a book store.)

Customer: “How much do books cost in this thin thing?”

Me: “Here’s a list of new releases on the e-reader. This book is $14.99.”

Customer: “Is that hardcover or paperback?”

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3

| Bridgeport, OR, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Top

Customer: “Hello, do you have any of the new Twilight books?”

Me: “Yes, they’re over here.”

(I lead her to where they would be, but we appear to be sold out. This is strange as all copies were put up this morning.)

Me: “That’s strange. We seem to be out of stock. Can I interest you in anything else?”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. What about this one?”

(They point towards ‘Harry Potter’.)

Me: “Oh, that’s a great book! It’s about a boy who becomes a wizard and-”

Customer: “Are there any werewolves?”

Me: “I think so. I haven’t read them in a while.”

(The customer grabs the entire series of ‘Harry Potter’ and leaves. As I’m about to return to my workstation, two teens run up to me, high-five each other, and tell me they hid all 70 copies of ‘Twilight’ in the ceiling when no one was looking. Although impressed, I have to report them to my manager. After doing so, my manager gives them each a $10 gift card.)

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

Life Is Stranger Than Non-Fiction

| Virginia Beach, VA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer approaches the information desk at a large chain bookstore.)

Me: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for the non-fiction section.”

Me: “Could you be more specific?”

Customer: “The non-fiction section.”

Me: “Well, the non fiction section includes computers, travel, art, poetry, religion, health, biographies, beauty and many other topics. It’s 60% of the store. Is there one area of non-fiction you are looking for?”

(The customer begins to walk in a circle.)

Customer: “I think I will just look around.”

Related:
Life Is Stranger Than Fiction, Part 2
Life Is Stranger Than Fiction

Students Don’t Hit The Books Like They Used To

, | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Uncategorized

(It is the first week of classes, so the book store is absolutely packed.)

Student: “Can you help me?”

Me: “Of course. What do you need?”

(The student hands me her book list.)

Student: “Find all of these for me.”

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