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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Cinnamon Puns

    | North Bay, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Language & Words, Top

    Customer: “Our daughter is looking for a book called Antonyms and Cinnamons.”

    (I type it into our search system, but no dice.)

    Me: “Would you know the author’s name?”

    Customer: “No, I forget. It was something weird though. She wrote it down, but I forget.”

    Me: “Might you mean Antonyms and Synonyms?”

    Customer: “Yes! That’s it!”

    (I search again.)

    Me: “Nothing with that exact title is coming up. Was there more to it?”

    Customer: “The author’s name. It was something funny. Sounded like a dinosaur. Wait, I think I might have it here.”

    (She searches through her pockets and fishes out a little folded piece of paper.)

    Customer: “Here it is. Antonyms and Cinnamons by Theo Saurus!’”

    Can’t See The Wood In The Trees

    | Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout

    ( I am ringing up a customer. I pick up a plastic bag and hold it up.)

    Me: “Do you need a bag?”

    Customer: “No, thanks. I’ll save a tree.”

    Me: *jokingly* “Yeah, those plastic trees are really endangered.”

    Customer: *looking shocked and worried* “They are?!”

    Try Not To Read Too Much Into It

    | Winchester, UK | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Funny Names, Holidays, Top

    (A six or seven year old boy comes into the children’s bookstore, his mother trailing behind him.)

    Mother: “Go on then! Ask! She won’t know what you’re talking about and then you can stop wasting my time!”

    Boy: “Hello!”

    Me: “Hello.”

    Boy: “I want a book.”

    Me: “Well you’re in the right place.”

    Boy: “It’s about a boy. Who lives with a caveman. He’s got a funny name beginning with ‘S’.”

    Mother: “There. Now you know there’s no such book.”

    Me: “That wouldn’t be ‘Stig of the Dump’ would it?”

    Boy: *jumping up and down* “Yes yes yes! I told you mummy!”

    Mother: “Don’t contradict me in front of my son!” *starts walking her son out of the shop and still talking to me* “You read too many books!”

    Taking Their Sweet Time

    | Tacoma, WA, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Top

    Customer: “I’m looking for a book called Like Watery Chocolate For Chocolately Water or something.”

    Me:Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel?”

    Customer: “Um…no…it’s by this Mexican author.”

    Me: “Yes, Laura Esquivel. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

    Customer: “No, it has all these recipes in it.”

    Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel.’

    Customer: “No it has like this blue cover.”

    Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel. I can take you right to it, ma’am.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not it! They’re making a movie out of it!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

    Customer: “No! Oh, you’re just no help at all!” *stomps off*

    How To Kill ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’

    | Cape Cod, MA, USA | Books & Reading

    (A teenage girl and her mother enter the store and walk over to the counter.)

    Me: “Hello, can I help you with something?”

    Teen: “Yeah, like, do you have, like, To Kill a Mockingbird?”

    Me: “Yes we do. If you could follow me please.”

    (I lead them to the book’s location, where we have two different copies.)

    Teen: “Mom, pick the smaller one!”

    Mother: “Honey, you that doesn’t make the story shorter, right?”

    Teen: “Oh.”


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