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    Misunderstood Comic Strip

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA |

    (Two middle aged women approach me.)

    Customer 1: “Excuse me? Can you help me find something?”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am. What are you looking for? Gift ideas maybe?”

    Customer 1: “Yes exactly, I need a present that will interest a 14 year old boy.”

    Customer 2: *interjecting* “But not porn!”

    Me: “I think I can accommodate those taxing conditions.”

    Questionable Answers

    | GA, USA |

    (I’m in the comics section, helping a man find a present for his daughter. I’ve picked up a book by a popular artist.)

    Customer: “It looks nice, but I already got her one of these things for her birthday. I don’t want to give her the same gift twice.”

    Me: “Are you sure? This book came out pretty recently. Did yours have the same title as this one?”

    Customer: “I don’t remember.”

    Me: “Did the cover have the same colors as this?”

    Customer: “I don’t remember.”

    Me: “Is there anything you recall about the book you got for her birthday?”

    Customer: *after a long, thoughtful pause* “It was made of paper!”

    Life Is Stranger Than Fiction, Part 2

    | Washington DC, USA |

    Customer: “I’m looking for a book. Something about glass. Breaking glass?”

    Me: “Well, do you know if it’s fiction or nonfiction?”

    Customer: “Sorry. What?”

    Me: “Is it real or imaginary?”

    Customer: “I mean, it’s real. How do you imagine a book? Is that what audio books are?”

    Related:
    Life Is Stranger Than Fiction

    Queer As Folk Re-Vamped

    | Melbourne, Australia |

    Customer: “Hey. You were talking about vampire books with the last customer?”

    Me: “The’yre here on the wall next to the counter.”

    Customer: “Do you have any gay ones?”

    Me: “Do you mean as in homoerotic literature?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Oh, no. Have you tried [romance bookshop] across the road?”

    Customer: “Why would I go there? I just want gay vampires.”

    Me: “Well that’s generally a subsection of romance, not Sci-Fi.”

    Customer: “I don’t want romance! I just want gay vampires!”

    Don’t Kid Around About Sex And Violence

    | Huntsville, AL, USA |

    Me: “Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “I was in the airport and saw this book it was blue and said something about a ranger. It looked really good, so I was trying to find it here.”

    Me: “Sounds like The Rangers Apprentice series. It’s a kids’ book.”

    Customer: “No, it couldn’t be a kids’ book. It looked really interesting.”

    (Several minutes ensue of trying to find anything else that it could be. I ask him to wait a moment while I check the kids’ section and get the newest Rangers apprentice book and return.)

    Me: “Is this it?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “That’s the book I was telling you about. It’s technically a kids’ series, but it’s still a good book–just without the sex and violence.”

    Customer: “None at all? But that’s why I read them!”

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