And The Egg Laid The Chicken

| Cleveland, MS, USA | Books & Reading

(A customer approaches me waving a copy of “The Help” in my face.)

Customer: “Is this book based off that movie that just came out?”

Me: “I think the book came out first, but–”

Customer: “Yeah, I just saw the movie! I didn’t think the book would come out so fast!”

Me: “But–”

Customer: “I don’t know if I should even bother. The book is never quite as good, anyway!”

From Facebook To Selling Books

| London, UK | Books & Reading

(I have been working at this bookstore for nearly 2 years.)

Customer: “You work here now.”

Me: *puzzled* “Yes.”

Customer: “So, you no longer work on the Facebook?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’re Mark Zuckwhatever, right?”

Me: “Mark Zuckerberg? No, that’s not me.”

Customer: “It’s okay, your identity is safe with me!” *walks
alway*

The Only Reason To Read Anyway

| England, UK | Books & Reading, Rude & Risque

(A young teenage girl has been standing perplexed looking at the front covers of two books, “Twilight” and “Vampire Diaries”.)

Me: “Having trouble finding a book?”

Customer: “No, I’m just trying to work out which of these has the best sex scenes in them.”

Homophones Are Never As Satisfying

| Toronto, Canada | Books & Reading, Rude & Risque

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any copies of Sexadon?”

Me: “Do you mean Sex At Dawn? It’s a bestseller.”

Customer: “No, I’m pretty sure the one I want is titled Sexadon. You know, like the dinosaur of sex?”

(For the heck of it, I double-check our inventory, the Books In Print index, and all the Amazons. There is no book called Sexadon.)

Customer: *disappointed* “Man, I really thought that was the title.”

(In the end, he bought Sex At Dawn, but clearly wasn’t happy about it!)

Related:
Of All The Moments For Freud To Slip

Intelligently Unavailable

| Cambridge, England, UK | Books & Reading

Customer: “Hi, I would like to order a copy of [book] please.”

Me: *searches computer* “Sorry, sir, it looks like that book is out of print.”

Customer: “I know that. I want you to order me a copy.”

Me: “I can’t, sir. It’s out of print. They aren’t printing anymore copies.”

Customer: “Oh, well, your colleague already told me that. I just thought you looked smarter, so you could probably get it for me.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “So you can’t get it for me then?”

Me: “No.”

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