The Eleventh Commandment Is “Thou Shalt Use The Bathroom”
As one of the largest bookstores around, our store frequently had authors visiting on book tours.
My wife’s favorite was Charlton Heston, who was touring in support of his autobiography, “In The Arena”. To say the line to get a signed copy was long would be an understatement; it went around the store and all the way to the doors.
My wife’s job that day was to stand next to him and hand him a fresh book to sign for each person in line. Heston was a real gentleman and always took the time to do a little chit-chat with each person, so the line didn’t move quickly.
At one point, my wife leaned over to him and said, quoting “The Agony and the Ecstasy”, “When will you make an end?”
Heston didn’t blink. Without looking up, he said, “When I am finished!” Perfect and on-target response, right out of the movie.
But then, a few minutes later, he quietly informed my wife that he needed the bathroom. She had him stand up, and she pointed; it was across the store and he’d have to cut through over a hundred people to get there. He sighed quietly and sat back down and kept signing for an hour and a half. Never uttered a word of distress or complaint.
Finally, when every single person had gotten their signed copy, he stood up again and quietly but very firmly said:
Charlton: “I need the bathroom.”
I was assigned the job of clearing the way and leading him directly there. He made good time and headed inside. I stayed outside — give the man some space, and all that. But seconds later, the door opened again and two teenagers came out, looking dumbfounded.
Teenager #1: “That was Moses!”
Teenager #2: “What’s Moses doing in a Borders?”
