Bookstore Customer: “Do you sell maps? You know, things with pictures of roads on them?”

Source

Customer: “Do you have that book from that movie Les Miserababah?”

Me: “Les Miserables? Yes it would be on the 3rd floor.”

Customer: “What section would it be in?”

Me: “The fiction section.”

Customer: “So nonfiction is true, and fiction is not true, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How can this book be fiction if there is a movie about it?”

Me: “Movies are not true.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yes. Movies are not true, movies are fiction.”

Source

(Customer standing on top of an old, oak library ladder)

Bookstore Customer: “If I was your attorney, I would make you get rid of this ladder.”

Me: “If you were my attorney, I’d push you off it!”

Source

Customer at a Bookstore in Philadelphia: “I’m looking for the Boston Zagat Restaurant guide, do you have a local interest section that would have it?”

Me: “No. Boston isn’t local. The restaurant guide would be with the rest of the Boston travel books.”

Customer: “Well there aren’t any on the shelf.”

Me: “We must be out of stock. I could order it for you.”

Customer: “No. Well are there any local stores around here that would have it?”

Me: “Boston is not local. Maybe you should wait until you go to Boston and buy it there.”

Customer: “Good idea.”

Source

Bookstore Customer: “You have beautiful green eyes.”

Me: “They’re blue.”

Source

Customer (pointing to up escalator): “How do I go up? This way?”

Source

Customer: “Do you have a picture book of dinosaurs?”

Me: “Sure.”

(We walk to the dinosaur books and I show him many books with various sketches and paintings of dinosaurs)

Customer: “No, not pictures…PHOTOGRAPHS. Photos of dinosaurs, please. Where are those?”

Source