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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    It’s Not The Book That’s Bad For Society

    | NE, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (As I’m processing a return, the customer leans forward and begins talking quietly to me.)

    Customer: “So, are there books that your store won’t sell?”

    Me: *confused* “Well, if the book is rare or very old we sometimes can’t stock them.”

    Customer: “No, like, are there books you won’t sell because the government thinks they’re bad for society?”

    Me: “Um, I don’t think so…”

    Customer: “Do you have a list of the books that you won’t sell? Because the government doesn’t want you to?”

    Me: “…No.”

    A Hypocritical Environment

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout

    Customer: “I’m checking to see if you have [environmentalist book].”

    Me: “Hmmm… no, sorry, not at the moment.”

    Customer: “Okay, then how about [other environmentalist book]?”

    Me: “Yes, we do have that one!”

    Customer: “Great! I’m an AP environmental studies teacher.”

    Me: “Awesome!”

    (I ring up the purchase. The credit card machine is acting sluggish, so to kill time I ask her this question though I’m sure the answer will be no.)

    Me: “Need a bag for that?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…”

    Not Always Right: The Comic – The Land Of The Free To Be Who You Are

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Books & Reading, Comics, Comics Single, Not Always Right: The Comic
    Not Always Right: The Comic – The Land Of The Free To Be Who You Are

    Not Quite The Harper Lee Classic

    | Vancouver, BC, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Movies & TV

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have ‘How to Kill a Mockingjay?'”

    Me: *just stare at her, completely caught off-guard by her question* “Did you want ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ or ‘Mockingjay?'”

    Customer: “To Kill a Mockingjay!”

    Me: “Are you sure?” *I lead her over to the teen section, knowing she wants The Hunger Games book, Mockingjay*

    Customer: “That’s it! Hunger Games!”

    Me: *sigh*

    (She didn’t end up buying it because it was in hardcover and she’d rather wait until it’s in paperback so I’m sure I’ll be asked for “To Kill a Mockingjay” again!)

    Climbing The Ladder Of Crazy

    | CO, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (I work in an old-fashioned bookstore, with high shelves and a ladder attached to them that moves along the wall. I am standing at the very top of the ladder, balancing a box full of books between the ladder and myself. All of a sudden a customer comes racing towards me. She grabs the ladder and shoves it to one side, effectively knocking my box down.)

    Customer: “It has to be right here! Where is it?!”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am! Please be careful with the ladder. I’m high up and I could get hurt!”

    Customer: *ignores me* “I need help finding a book. Help me now, please!”

    (She then grabs the ladder again and yanks it the other way, causing me to fall off. Thankfully I hold onto the ladder, so now I’m dangling from the side of it. Another customer quickly runs over and helps me get down from the ladder.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I said I needed help! Stop helping him and help me!”

    Me: “I wasn’t helping him; he was helping me get down from the ladder so that you don’t kill me! Were you trying to break my neck?”

    Customer: “What? You weren’t on the ladder. I need help finding a book. I need a book that will tell me how to smoke.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I tried it and I must have done it wrong because I coughed like crazy.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you came in here, nearly killed me, and you’re trying to find a book that doesn’t exist, because you think your natural reflexes are wrong?”

    Customer: “Oh, I knew I should have gone to Barnes and Noble.” *leaves store*