November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

The True Burden Of Society

| North Carolina, USA | Uncategorized

(I am working customer service at a well-known bookstore, and have just completed filling an order for an elderly woman over the phone.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, that takes care of that order. It’ll be here in a week and we’ll call you once it’s received.”

Customer: “Oh, well, thank you very much. You’ve been a real help.”

Me: “It’s no problem, ma’am. You have a good d–”

Customer: “How dare you.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “How dare you say it was nothing to help me! As if helping me means nothing!”

Me: *dumbfounded and a bit shocked*

(At this point, the customer launches into a full-blown tirade against “my generation” and “young workers” who have “no respect for their elders.”)

Customer: “And it’s just, you know, despicable how they can let you get away with something like this! I think that you all should–”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “And I just think that–”

Me: “Ma’am.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “Have a pleasant day, ma’am.” *hangs up*

The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 6

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Books & Reading

(I work in the large children’s section of a popular independent bookstore in our area.)

Customer: “Do you guys carry those train wreck books?”

Me: “Hmmm, I’m not familiar with anything like that. Is it a series, or maybe something from non-fiction?”

Customer: “Yeah, It’s a series. The Trainwreck Kids!”

(A light bulb goes on in my head.)

Me: “Oh, wait, do you mean The Boxcar Children?”

Customer: *blushes and starts to laugh* “Yeah, that’s it!”

The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

Preemptive Strike: Shock And Awe

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(I approach a customer to see if he needs help.)

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “No, thank you.”

Me: *confused*

You Got The Wrong(est) Lover

| Medford, MA, USA | Books & Reading

(I work at a bookstore. It’s well known at work that my voice resembles my manager’s voice.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [bookstore], this is–”

Caller: “Hey, you little vixen, when are you coming home? I’ve got a bottle of champagne–”

Me: “Um, wait, I–”

Caller: “Ooh, I’m gonna–”

Me: *turning beet red* “Nancy! Your husband is on the phone!”

You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

Before Pride, But After Prejudice

| Orem, UT, USA | Books & Reading

Customer: “Do you have Pride and Prejudice?”

Me: “Of course, it’s right over this way.”

(I grab a copy and hand it to her.)

Customer: “Was this written before or after the movie?”

Me: *caught off guard* “Um…before.”