October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

The Gift That Keeps On Grouping

| Michigan, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this item, I can’t give it as a gift .”

(He hands me a copy of Pygmalion.)

Me: “That shouldn’t be a problem. Is there anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “Turns out it’s a play. They wont be able to read it.”

Me: “Oh, they don’t like plays?”

Customer: “No, they can’t read it because there aren’t enough people to read the parts!”

Me: “Might I suggest that they just read it like a regular book?”

Customer: *looks at me like I’m crazy*

Reading Is Addictive

| Colorado, USA | Family & Kids

(Two kids in the 10 to 12-year old range come to the register with 3 different marijuana-themed magazines.)

Me: “Um, I don’t think I can sell you those.”

Kids: “But our mom says it’s okay.”

Me: “Is she even in the store?”

(Their mother comes over a few minutes later and buys the magazines.)

Mother: “As long as they’re reading, right?”

Reading Is Infectious

The True Burden Of Society

| North Carolina, USA | Uncategorized

(I am working customer service at a well-known bookstore, and have just completed filling an order for an elderly woman over the phone.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, that takes care of that order. It’ll be here in a week and we’ll call you once it’s received.”

Customer: “Oh, well, thank you very much. You’ve been a real help.”

Me: “It’s no problem, ma’am. You have a good d–”

Customer: “How dare you.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “How dare you say it was nothing to help me! As if helping me means nothing!”

Me: *dumbfounded and a bit shocked*

(At this point, the customer launches into a full-blown tirade against “my generation” and “young workers” who have “no respect for their elders.”)

Customer: “And it’s just, you know, despicable how they can let you get away with something like this! I think that you all should–”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “And I just think that–”

Me: “Ma’am.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “Have a pleasant day, ma’am.” *hangs up*

The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 6

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Books & Reading

(I work in the large children’s section of a popular independent bookstore in our area.)

Customer: “Do you guys carry those train wreck books?”

Me: “Hmmm, I’m not familiar with anything like that. Is it a series, or maybe something from non-fiction?”

Customer: “Yeah, It’s a series. The Trainwreck Kids!”

(A light bulb goes on in my head.)

Me: “Oh, wait, do you mean The Boxcar Children?”

Customer: *blushes and starts to laugh* “Yeah, that’s it!”

The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

Preemptive Strike: Shock And Awe

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(I approach a customer to see if he needs help.)

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “No, thank you.”

Me: *confused*

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