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  • OCD Is Under-appreciated

    | Cambridge, MA, USA | Books & Reading

    Customer: “Your books are out of order.”

    Me: “Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes people take books off the shelf then don’t put them back exactly where they were. Did you need help finding something?”

    Customer: “No, the order’s just wrong.”

    Me: “Okay, thanks for letting us know.”

    Customer: “Would you like me to fix them for you?”

    Me: “That’s really not necessary. Thank you, though.”

    Customer: *pause* “Can I sort them for you?”

    Me: “Um, if you really want to, I suppose.”

    (To my surprise, the customer actually sorted everything!)

    And The Egg Laid The Chicken

    | Cleveland, MS, USA | Books & Reading

    (A customer approaches me waving a copy of “The Help” in my face.)

    Customer: “Is this book based off that movie that just came out?”

    Me: “I think the book came out first, but–”

    Customer: “Yeah, I just saw the movie! I didn’t think the book would come out so fast!”

    Me: “But–”

    Customer: “I don’t know if I should even bother. The book is never quite as good, anyway!”

    From Facebook To Selling Books

    | London, UK | Books & Reading

    (I have been working at this bookstore for nearly 2 years.)

    Customer: “You work here now.”

    Me: *puzzled* “Yes.”

    Customer: “So, you no longer work on the Facebook?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You’re Mark Zuckwhatever, right?”

    Me: “Mark Zuckerberg? No, that’s not me.”

    Customer: “It’s okay, your identity is safe with me!” *walks
    alway*

    The Only Reason To Read Anyway

    | England, UK | Books & Reading, Rude & Risque

    (A young teenage girl has been standing perplexed looking at the front covers of two books, “Twilight” and “Vampire Diaries”.)

    Me: “Having trouble finding a book?”

    Customer: “No, I’m just trying to work out which of these has the best sex scenes in them.”

    Homophones Are Never As Satisfying

    | Toronto, Canada | Books & Reading, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any copies of Sexadon?”

    Me: “Do you mean Sex At Dawn? It’s a bestseller.”

    Customer: “No, I’m pretty sure the one I want is titled Sexadon. You know, like the dinosaur of sex?”

    (For the heck of it, I double-check our inventory, the Books In Print index, and all the Amazons. There is no book called Sexadon.)

    Customer: *disappointed* “Man, I really thought that was the title.”

    (In the end, he bought Sex At Dawn, but clearly wasn’t happy about it!)

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    Of All The Moments For Freud To Slip

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