Choose Your Own Misadventures

| Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Bizarre

(A woman walks up to the register with four pages out of four different books: a Grisham, a Kinsella, a King and a Straub.)

Me: “Did you find these pages loose?”

Customer: “No, I ripped them out. I want to buy them for 10 cents per page. Is that okay?”

Me: *shocked* “Um, no!”

Customer: *turns and leaves the store*

Weekend Roundup: You Drive Me Crazy

, , , , | Not Always Right | Bizarre, Roundups

Your Drive Me Crazy! This week, we share five stories of customers who drive employees nuts—and the brave workers who are driven to serve them just the same!

  1. Drive Hoo:
    Woohoo! Drive-thru customers can really drive you crazy!
  2. Preserving Life, 1-Up At A Time:
    Proof that Pokémon-players take “Gotta Catch ‘Em All” VERY seriously.
  3. Copycats…and Copy Dogs, Copy Sheep…:
    A customer wanting to clone his dog? Just another day at the bookstore!
  4. That Was Random:
    One coffee shop customer takes a random walk on the weird side.
  5. We Can Thank Hollywood And “Hacker” Films For This:
    Tech support can fix your hard drive, but not the car you drive!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Who Needs Learnin’ When You Can Be Sun Burnin’, Part 2

| Livingston, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Top

(I am helping a mother and her teenage son go through his summer reading list to find a book that will meet his requirement. I usually do this by working with the kid to find one that they’re genuinely interested in reading, but in this case, the mother keeps interrupting.)

Customer: “My god, look at how long all these books are!”

Me: *to the son* “You said you like mysteries, right? And Then There Were None is on your son’s reading list. I think you’d like it.”

Customer: *looking at the book* “It’s almost four hundred pages! How do you expect him to finish that thing?”

Me: “Well, he does have the whole summer.”

Customer: “Absolutely not! How can they expect him to read that much? It’s insane!”

Customer’s Son: *reading the back cover* “Mom, this actually sounds really good. There are ten people on an island and they start dying one by one.”

Customer: “Honey, you shouldn’t have to read that much. You’ll waste your whole summer! We want a book that’s under a hundred pages.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but none of these books are going to be under a hundred pages. I think the shortest one is about two hundred.”

Customer: “This is so ridiculous. How can they do this to him? Let’s pick a book from that rack over there. Those look much more manageable.”

Me: “Ma’am, that display is required reading for the local elementary school.”

Customer: “I don’t care what it is. We’re picking from there.”

Me: “None of those are on the reading list. Your son is going into tenth grade.”

Customer: “Well, these look like the books I would want to read. If I ever wanted to read, that is.”

Customer’s Son: “I think we should just get the one he recommended. It sounds awesome!”

Customer: “Forget it. You know what? We’re gonna drive by the school so I can complain to the principal. It’s ridiculous for them to expect you to read during the summer! That’s crazy!”

Related:
Who Needs Learnin’ When You Can Be Sun Burnin’

Self Disservice, Part 2

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Family & Kids, Top

(I work in the kids’ section of a bookstore that also sells toys and games. I notice that a child has caused the entire display to collapse. I find the mother after making sure the child didn’t hurt himself.)

Me: “Hi, are you the mother?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “We ask that you look after your children while in [store name]. You need to be with the child and not in another section of the store if they cannot be trusted alone.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to.”

Me: “…excuse me?”

Customer: “I don’t want to look after my child.”

Me: *confused* “Well I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s not my job to raise your child for you.”

Customer: “But I want you to!”

Related:
Self Disservice

All Sold Out Of Death Notes

| Auckland, New Zealand | Crazy Requests

(The bookstore is located in the center of town, so we often have peculiar occurrences.)

Me: “Hi there, sir. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a card.”

Me: “Our card section is right this way. What occasion did you need the card for?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a card for my enemy.”

Me: “Um, okay—”

Customer: “I want it to say ‘DIE, BASTARD, DIE!'”

Me: “I’m…afraid we don’t actually have any cards to fit your needs. Your best bet is to try down the road at [competitor’s] store.”

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