The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 6

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Books & Reading

(I work in the large children’s section of a popular independent bookstore in our area.)

Customer: “Do you guys carry those train wreck books?”

Me: “Hmmm, I’m not familiar with anything like that. Is it a series, or maybe something from non-fiction?”

Customer: “Yeah, It’s a series. The Trainwreck Kids!”

(A light bulb goes on in my head.)

Me: “Oh, wait, do you mean The Boxcar Children?”

Customer: *blushes and starts to laugh* “Yeah, that’s it!”

Related:
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

Preemptive Strike: Shock And Awe

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(I approach a customer to see if he needs help.)

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “No, thank you.”

Me: *confused*

You Got The Wrong(est) Lover

| Medford, MA, USA | Books & Reading

(I work at a bookstore. It’s well known at work that my voice resembles my manager’s voice.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [bookstore], this is–”

Caller: “Hey, you little vixen, when are you coming home? I’ve got a bottle of champagne–”

Me: “Um, wait, I–”

Caller: “Ooh, I’m gonna–”

Me: *turning beet red* “Nancy! Your husband is on the phone!”

Related:
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

Before Pride, But After Prejudice

| Orem, UT, USA | Books & Reading

Customer: “Do you have Pride and Prejudice?”

Me: “Of course, it’s right over this way.”

(I grab a copy and hand it to her.)

Customer: “Was this written before or after the movie?”

Me: *caught off guard* “Um…before.”

Obviously, He Needs Food For Thought

| Connecticut, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a large, well-known used bookstore. We offer complimentary coffee and doughnuts to our patrons, but we do not have a cafe or serve any other food. The bookshelves are extremely obvious and numerous. A middle-aged man enters.)

Customer: “I’ll have a medium hot dog to go.”

Me: *laughing* “Sorry, sir! We’re fresh out of hot dogs!”

Customer: *rolling his eyes and heaving a big sigh* “Okay, then what else do you have?”

Me: “Um, we have coffee and doughnuts.”

Customer: “That’s it? You don’t have any sandwiches or anything? What kind of a restaurant is this?”

Me: “We’re a bookstore.”

Customer: “A bookstore!? But I’m hungry!”

Me: “Well, like I said, we do have coffee and doughnuts–”

Customer: “Forget it! I’ll find another restaurant. This is ridiculous!”

Related:Obviously, She Needs Food For Thought

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