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    The True Burden Of Society

    | North Carolina, USA |

    (I am working customer service at a well-known bookstore, and have just completed filling an order for an elderly woman over the phone.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, that takes care of that order. It’ll be here in a week and we’ll call you once it’s received.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, thank you very much. You’ve been a real help.”

    Me: “It’s no problem, ma’am. You have a good d–”

    Customer: “How dare you.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

    Customer: “How dare you say it was nothing to help me! As if helping me means nothing!”

    Me: *dumbfounded and a bit shocked*

    (At this point, the customer launches into a full-blown tirade against “my generation” and “young workers” who have “no respect for their elders.”)

    Customer: “And it’s just, you know, despicable how they can let you get away with something like this! I think that you all should–”

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “And I just think that–”

    Me: “Ma’am.”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “Have a pleasant day, ma’am.” *hangs up*

    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 6

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Books & Reading

    (I work in the large children’s section of a popular independent bookstore in our area.)

    Customer: “Do you guys carry those train wreck books?”

    Me: “Hmmm, I’m not familiar with anything like that. Is it a series, or maybe something from non-fiction?”

    Customer: “Yeah, It’s a series. The Trainwreck Kids!”

    (A light bulb goes on in my head.)

    Me: “Oh, wait, do you mean The Boxcar Children?”

    Customer: *blushes and starts to laugh* “Yeah, that’s it!”

    Related:
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

    Preemptive Strike: Shock And Awe

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada |

    (I approach a customer to see if he needs help.)

    Me: “Hello!”

    Customer: “No, thank you.”

    Me: *confused*

    You Got The Wrong(est) Lover

    | Medford, MA, USA | Books & Reading

    (I work at a bookstore. It’s well known at work that my voice resembles my manager’s voice.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [bookstore], this is–”

    Caller: “Hey, you little vixen, when are you coming home? I’ve got a bottle of champagne–”

    Me: “Um, wait, I–”

    Caller: “Ooh, I’m gonna–”

    Me: *turning beet red* “Nancy! Your husband is on the phone!”

    Related:
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
    You Got The Wrong(est) Number

    Before Pride, But After Prejudice

    | Orem, UT, USA | Books & Reading

    Customer: “Do you have Pride and Prejudice?”

    Me: “Of course, it’s right over this way.”

    (I grab a copy and hand it to her.)

    Customer: “Was this written before or after the movie?”

    Me: *caught off guard* “Um…before.”

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