Not Going To Qualify

| Arizona, USA | School

Student: “I’d like to know where your study guides are. I’m going to take a test.”

Me: “Sure, which one?”

Student: “The Mensa test. I need to know where your Mensa test study guides are.”

Me: “I’m sorry. They don’t make those.”

Student: “So, will you be getting some in soon?”

Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 3

| Livingston, NJ, USA | Math & Science, Money

(I have just rung up a customer who is purchasing two items that are part of a two for $5 promotion in our store.)

Customer: *sighing in exasperation* “You didn’t ring this up correctly. They’re supposed to be two for $5.”

Me: “I’m sorry…I’m pretty sure the items came to $5 before tax. May I look at the receipt again to make sure?”

Customer: “You think I don’t know what I’m talking about?”

(The customer slams receipt on the counter and jabs her finger at the prices.)

Customer: “See what I’m talking about?! You rang both items up at $2.50!”

Me: “Yes. $2.50 plus $2.50 is $5.”

Customer: “Whatever! You aren’t worth my time!”

Related:
Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2
Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

Don’t Kick A (Half) Man When He’s Down

| Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada | Family & Kids

(A woman and her young daughter are browsing books.)

Daugher: “Mom, what’s a ‘has been’?”

Mother: “Charlie Sheen is a has been.”

Please Consult The Chameleon Circuit

| Melbourne, Australia | Geeks Rule, Top

(We’re a science fiction specialty bookstore. We also have a few other odds’n’ends around the store from series that do well, including several bits of Doctor Who merchandise.)

Me: “Can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “All of your Doctor Who stuff is bootlegged!”

Me: “I assure you it’s not, sir. As you can see, it has the BBC logo on it.”

Customer: “They can print anything in China. This TARDIS is a total knock off!”

Me: “Possibly, but we source our merchandise from reputable distributors located in the US & UK. We’re using the same suppliers that the [National Broadcaster] store uses for its Doctor Who merchandise.”

Customer: “Bulls***! This is all fake! And you know how I can tell? Phoneboxes are RED!”

The Great District of Confusion

, | Bakersfield, CA | Geography, School

(I am a student working in the on campus bookstore. A customer comes in and approaches me.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need a map of Washington.”

Me: “Washington state or Washington, D.C.?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Do you need a map for Washington state or Washington, D.C.?”

Customer: *confused* “What’s the difference, and what do you mean by D.C.?”

Me: “Well, one is a state above Oregon on the West coast, and the other—Washington, D.C.—is an area on the east coast. ‘D.C.’ stands for District of Columbia.”

Customer: “No, not in Colombia! In America!”

Me: “Ma’am, Washington, D.C. is in America. That is what it is called.”

Customer: “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. I just need a map of Washington for my political science class.”

Me: “Ah, then I’ll get you a map of Washington, D.C.”

Customer: “I think you’re wrong. I am going to tell my professor you guys are giving out maps of Colombia!” *walks away looking very annoyed*

Related:
Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
The Great State Of Confusion
The Great State Of Ignorance

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