October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Just Plain Batty

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Religion

(My friend used to own a comic book in the local mall. I am a tall goth girl and am leaning against a book case reading a Japanese graphic novel.)

Customer’s Young Son: *tries to reach for a comic on the top shelf*

Me: “Here you go!” *hands him the comic* “Batman is my favorite super hero.”

(The young boy’s father approaches.)

Customer: “What they H*** do you think you’re doing talking to my son?! You’re trying to possess him with your evil!”

Me: “I was handing him a book.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! You were trying to convert him to worshipping the devil!”

Owner: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “How dare you let devil worshippers hang around in your store?! She was trying to convert my son with this devil bat comic!”

Owner: “She handed him the comic. That is all, sir.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! You’re one of them aren’t you? You’re both in a cult together!” *to his son* “Son, we never go near these people again, do you hear me? I’ll tell everyone this store is evil!”

Me: “Sir, I’m actually an atheist and am offended that you would make such blind accusations based on my appearance.”

Customer: “Don’t tell me how to raise my son! God hates you!”

Owner: “Sir, I would like you to get out of my store and never return.”

Customer: “I can enter here if I want. It’s a free country, and you HAVE to serve me!”

Owner: *calmly* “You’re right, it is a free country, and as the owner of this shop, I have the freedom to tell you to get the f*** out or I’ll call the police.”

Customer: *grabs his son and leaves hastily*

Time To Pega-sulk

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Family & Kids

(A little girl approaches me holding up a book with a unicorn on the cover.)

Little Girl: “I think unicorns are beautiful!”

Me: “They sure are! That looks like a great book for you!”

Little Girl: “I think you’re a unicorn!”

Me: “Aww! Does that mean you think I’m beautiful?”

Little Girl: “No! It means you’re a horse with a big horn on your head!”

Me: “Umm…thank you?”

Not Paying At-Ten-tion

| Canberra, Australia | Money

(I work in a bookshop and we are having a sale. Everything is $10, and there are signs and tags everywhere.)

Customer: “Excuse me, how much is this?”

Me: “Everything in store is $10.”

Customer: “So, how much is this?”

Me: “$10.”

Customer: (picks up another book) “…and this?”

Me: “$10.”

Customer: “That can’t be right. It’s too cheap!”

Me: “I assure you it is. We’re having a sale. Everything is $10.”

Customer: “Oh, great!”

(The customer picks up another book with a big $10 sticker on the front.)

Customer: “So, how much is this one?”

Urine Need Of Training Yourself

| Short Hills, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

(Our store is in a shopping mall, so we don’t have public restrooms like most of our chain locations. Since the mall has restrooms conveniently located across the hall, we usually don’t have any problems. This day, a customer runs into our store holding her three-year-old son’s hand.)

Customer: “Where’s your bathroom?”

Me: “We actually don’t have one, but there’s one right over—”

Customer: “What do you mean you don’t have a bathroom? My son needs to go immediately!”

Me: “There’s a public restroom right across the hall over there.”

Customer: “I don’t have time to get him over there! I need you to let us use yours!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. But really, the restroom is right across the hall—”

Customer: “MY SON IS ABOUT TO PEE HIS PANTS! He’s still being potty trained and can’t hold it for very long!”

(To my surprise, another customer who has overheard the conversation speaks in our defense.)

Another Customer: “Are you crazy, lady? There’s a bathroom not thirty feet away! You’re going to let your poor son wet himself so you can argue with this man? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

At Least Meet Us Half-And-Half Way

| Livingston, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

(I’ve been called to our store’s cafe to deal with a customer demanding a free drink.)

Me: “Hi, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I got the wrong drink yesterday, so I told the barista that they need to give me a free drink to make up for it.”

Me: “I’m sorry…you got the wrong drink yesterday?”

Customer: “Yes! I come here every day to study and get the same drink! Yesterday, they gave me some disgusting sludge. I had to drink the whole thing! What are you going to do to make it right?!”

Me: “You drank the whole thing, even though you thought it was disgusting and you were still in the store?”

Customer: “That’s not the point! They gave me the wrong drink. You need to make it up to me.”

Me: “Why didn’t you tell the barista that you were given the wrong drink yesterday? We would have happily gotten you the correct drink.”

Customer: “I didn’t realize I had the wrong drink until I sat down. What was I supposed to do, get up and walk all the way over to the counter?!”

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