We are visiting a large and beautiful bookstore.
Clerk: “Can I help you?”
Me: “I seem to have lost my wife.”
Clerk: “Hmm.” *Looks around* “Are you fussy?”
Customer: “I’m writing a book!”
Me: “That’s awesome!”
Customer: “I was told I could get some help here.”
Me: “Of course, we have plenty of books for aspiring writers.”
I take him over to the section.
Customer: “No, this isn’t what I was looking for.”
Me: “What did you have in mind?”
Customer: “Well, you work in a bookstore, so I thought I would tell you what happens and you would write it down and make it all… book-like, with sentences and stuff, and then you could sell it here, too.”
Me: “Uh…”
Customer: “So, it starts with a big powerful guy, and he has this sword…”
Me: “I… don’t think…”
Customer: “And he goes to a cave where there’s a dragon, and… Why aren’t you writing any of this down?”
We are a small independent bookshop in a rather depressed UK city. With the rise of Internet shopping, we started selling books online a few years ago. We have only really had one bad customer.
We sent the book to this customer, and the following day we got an email from her along the lines of:
Customer: “I want a refund. Your delivery driver didn’t deliver the book after I paid for redelivery.”
That was odd. Not only did we send the book via Royal Mail, not a private service, but no delivery service charges for redelivery. I wasn’t in the shop at the time, but a worker was, and he called me, quite confused. I was equally confused.
Then, the penny dropped. There’s a scam where people send emails or text messages to people with the subject “redelivery of your parcel.” Clicking on the link, the victim is prompted to pay a redelivery charge. Because we were the last business she had ordered something from online, she thought the email was to do with her order from us.
By this time, we had received another email from her.
Customer: “I DEMAND A REFUND! YOUR DRIVER SCAMMED ME!”
I wrote politely back explaining that this had nothing to do with us at all, and having looked at our records and the date the book had been sent off, there was no way it could have reached her yet. I explained the scam, linking to a police website about it, and advised that she needed to cancel the card that she had used, as there was a possibility the scammer now had her card details and could use them to make purchases online.
She still demanded a refund from [Online Marketplace], which we gave. But seriously, the issue had nothing to do with us!
A woman comes up to my desk with a stack of books and tells me that she needs to run out to her car to get her purse. She gets as far as the door, laughs, and comes back to the desk.
Customer: “I had my purse on my arm the whole time.”
After she pays for her books, all the while making little shame-faced jokes about her bad memory, I say:
Me: “Can I tell you a little story that might make you feel better?”
Customer: “Sure.”
Me: “This morning, my husband and I took the dog for a walk, and then he was going to drive me to work. I needed to stop at the corner store on the way to get a drink. After I got my drink, I walked out of the store and proceeded to walk to work. I got about half a block before I remembered that my husband was still waiting in the parking lot around the corner of the building, so he didn’t see me leave. Fortunately, he has a sense of humour.”
The customer told me I had indeed made her feel less embarrassed. I wish someone could do the same for me.
This story is part of our International Day Of Happiness roundup!
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My wife and I are with some friends at a local bookstore’s trivia night. It’s been fun, but the emcee running the game has made some… odd choices. The one I remember best is this.
Emcee: “Okay, last question, three points. What song by Prince shares its name with a number?”
My team confers quietly, and we answer, “1999,” which is the full title of the song you’ve probably heard of. Later, the emcee is reviewing the responses out loud.
Emcee: “And the answer to the last question… is Seven.”
Me: “What about 1999?”
Emcee: “Nope, sorry, it’s Seven.”
Me: “But 1999 is also a Prince song that shares its name with a number.”
Emcee: “Yeah, but it doesn’t count because it’s not the one I was thinking of.”
We didn’t go back.
