Bar | London, England, UK |
(New Year’s Eve is in full swing. Shortly before the midnight countdown, a coworker of mine drops down dead beside me from a brain aneurysm. We went into shock and obviously tried to help her. The customer that she was serving starts complaining about the quality of service.)
Customer: “Leave her, it’s almost midnight! I need my glass of wine to celebrate!”
Me: “Sir, we believe she may be dead. Please have a bit of compassion. The bar will be closing now while we wait for emergency services.”
Customer: “Forget that! We want to celebrate. Get me my drink now and take her body out back or something!”
Me: “Security! Throw this man out and clear the bar.”
Customer: “I will get both her and you fired for this!”
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(We have a daily special where everything in the bar is $4. There are huge signs everywhere advertising this. I have this conversation at least twice a week.)
Customer: “How much is a vodka lime?”
Me: “$4. Everything is $4.”
Customer: “Really? So, how much is a tequila shot?”
Me: “$4. Everything is $4.”
Customer: “Even Jäger?”
Me: “If it’s alcohol, then it’s $4.”
Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll have a gin.” ”
*pause*
Customer: “Is that $4 too?”
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Bar | London, England, UK |
(I am working in a pub with two public entrances: it has one small side entrance and another on the main street on the opposite wall. A 20 year-old girl enters through the side entrance and approaches the counter.)
Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for a part-time job.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t need staff at the moment.”
(The girl leaves through the same entrance, walks around the building, walks in through the other door, and approaches the bar.)
Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for a part-time job.”
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(The pub has a special offer selling pints of ale for the price of a half-pint.)
Customer: “Can I have a pint of ale, please?”
Me: “There you go. That’s £1.”
Customer: “But, your sign says that a pint costs the same as a half-pint.”
Me: “It is. A pint is usually £2.”
Customer: “That is a rip-off. A pint should cost £1 anyway.”
Me: “I assure you that a pint is usually £2.”
Customer: “Forget this. I didn’t come in here to be conned. Just get me a half-pint instead.”
(I pour half of the pint into a half-pint glass.)
Me: “Here you go, sir.”
Customer: “That’s better. How much is it?”
Me: “It’s £1.”
(The customer pays, picks up his drink and walks off happy.)
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Bar | Lancaster, England, UK |
(A customer is buying drinks for him and his friends.)
Me: “£12.60, please.”
Customer: “Can I put that on the tab?”
Me: “Sure, what name is the tab in?”
Customer: “I don’t care.”
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1,376 Thumbs Up!)
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