Picking On Pockets

| Boston, MA, USA | Top

Customer: “Two white wines, please.”

Me: “Sure thing. Your total will be $****.”

Customer: “$****?! That’s a little steep. I bet you’re lining your pockets.”

(I look down at my uniform, which is a black cocktail dress.)

Me: “Sir, I don’t have pockets.”

Customer: “Touché.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 2

| St. Cloud, MN, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Uncategorized, Underaged

Me: “Do you have an ID?”

(The girl hands me her ID. She’s 21. She walks in, the boy she’s with starts following her.)

Me: “Oh, do you have an ID with you?”

Him: “Um…”

Me: “An ID?”

(He hands me his room key and smiles.)

Me: “This isn’t…”

Him: “I know.” *walks sadly out*

Related:
No ID, No Idea

Sadly Wasn’t Born Yesterday

| Ohio, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(Note: this customer has heard that a girl is celebrating her birthday on Friday the 13th.)

Customer: “I hope my birthday never falls on Friday the 13th!”

Me: “When’s your birthday?”

Customer: “May 20th!”

Happy Hour, Right Day, Wrong Year

| Minnesota, USA | Uncategorized, Underaged

Customer: “Is it true that you give out free drinks on people’s birthdays?”

Me: “It’s true we’ll give you one free drink, yes, but I need to see your ID to confirm it’s your birthday.”

Customer: *hands over ID*

Me: “Yeah, it’s your birthday. Pity you can’t legally drink ’til your next one.”

Fake On A Break

| Wisconsin, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “May I see some ID sir?”

Customer: “Uh, yeah. Here.”

(I take a look at the ID and am utterly speechless. It is by no means a bad fake, but the kid made one mistake when he ordered it. I motion over the bar manager, because I am utterly speechless. I hand him the fake.)

Manager: *laughing* “Kid, your fake says you are 19!”

(Everyone in line begins laughing, and the kid takes off. I notice at least three other people in line check the date on their licenses.)

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