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    No ID, No Idea, Part 2

    | St. Cloud, MN, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Underaged

    Me: “Do you have an ID?”

    (The girl hands me her ID. She’s 21. She walks in, the boy she’s with starts following her.)

    Me: “Oh, do you have an ID with you?”

    Him: “Um…”

    Me: “An ID?”

    (He hands me his room key and smiles.)

    Me: “This isn’t…”

    Him: “I know.” *walks sadly out*

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea

    Sadly Wasn’t Born Yesterday

    | Ohio, USA | Extra Stupid

    (Note: this customer has heard that a girl is celebrating her birthday on Friday the 13th.)

    Customer: “I hope my birthday never falls on Friday the 13th!”

    Me: “When’s your birthday?”

    Customer: “May 20th!”

    Happy Hour, Right Day, Wrong Year

    | Minnesota, USA | Underaged

    Customer: “Is it true that you give out free drinks on people’s birthdays?”

    Me: “It’s true we’ll give you one free drink, yes, but I need to see your ID to confirm it’s your birthday.”

    Customer: *hands over ID*

    Me: “Yeah, it’s your birthday. Pity you can’t legally drink ’til your next one.”

    Fake On A Break

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    Me: “May I see some ID sir?”

    Customer: “Uh, yeah. Here.”

    (I take a look at the ID and am utterly speechless. It is by no means a bad fake, but the kid made one mistake when he ordered it. I motion over the bar manager, because I am utterly speechless. I hand him the fake.)

    Manager: *laughing* “Kid, your fake says you are 19!”

    (Everyone in line begins laughing, and the kid takes off. I notice at least three other people in line check the date on their licenses.)

    On The Straight And Narrow (Minded)

    | Hertfordshire, England | Top

    (Note: I’m a female customer sitting in a pub. I’m approached by another male customer while I read a book.)

    Male customer: “Hello, my name is ***.”

    Me: “That’s nice.”

    Male customer: “So can I have your number?”

    Me: “Oh. Actually, I’m gay.”

    Male customer: “You want to have sex with women?”

    Me: “Well, not right now. Right now, I just want to read my book.”

    Male customer: “That’s bulls***! If you’re a lesbian then you want to have sex with women!”

    Me: “Honestly, I just want to read my book.”

    Male customer: “You’re lying to me, that’s very rude! I’m going to complain!”

    Male customer, to a waitress: “That girl over there is being really rude. I want you to do something, it’s disturbing my day. She just lied to me and told me that she was a lesbian, and now she’s mocking me.”

    Waitress: “What am I supposed to do about that? Make her straight?”

    Male customer: “Just do something about it!”

    Waitress, to me: “Hello, there.”

    Me: “Hello. I’m sorry about him.”

    Waitress: “Oh, it’s no problem! So, can I have your number?”

    Male customer: *looks horrified*

    Me: “Er, yeah, sure. Here.”

    (I write my number on a napkin and she takes it, still smiling.)

    Waitress, to male customer: “See? She’s a lesbian.”

    Male customer: “That’s not what I wanted you to do! I didn’t want you to ask her out, I wanted you to make her leave! I demand to speak to your manager!”

    Waitress: “Oh, he’s just popped out. I can get his boyfriend for you though if you want?”

    Male customer: *storms out cursing*

    (It turned out that the waitress was kidding about her manager, but she wasn’t kidding about asking me out!)

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

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