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    Picking On Pockets

    | Boston, MA, USA | Top

    Customer: “Two white wines, please.”

    Me: “Sure thing. Your total will be $****.”

    Customer: “$****?! That’s a little steep. I bet you’re lining your pockets.”

    (I look down at my uniform, which is a black cocktail dress.)

    Me: “Sir, I don’t have pockets.”

    Customer: “Touché.”

    No ID, No Idea, Part 2

    | St. Cloud, MN, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Underaged

    Me: “Do you have an ID?”

    (The girl hands me her ID. She’s 21. She walks in, the boy she’s with starts following her.)

    Me: “Oh, do you have an ID with you?”

    Him: “Um…”

    Me: “An ID?”

    (He hands me his room key and smiles.)

    Me: “This isn’t…”

    Him: “I know.” *walks sadly out*

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea

    Sadly Wasn’t Born Yesterday

    | Ohio, USA | Extra Stupid

    (Note: this customer has heard that a girl is celebrating her birthday on Friday the 13th.)

    Customer: “I hope my birthday never falls on Friday the 13th!”

    Me: “When’s your birthday?”

    Customer: “May 20th!”

    Happy Hour, Right Day, Wrong Year

    | Minnesota, USA | Underaged

    Customer: “Is it true that you give out free drinks on people’s birthdays?”

    Me: “It’s true we’ll give you one free drink, yes, but I need to see your ID to confirm it’s your birthday.”

    Customer: *hands over ID*

    Me: “Yeah, it’s your birthday. Pity you can’t legally drink ’til your next one.”

    Fake On A Break

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    Me: “May I see some ID sir?”

    Customer: “Uh, yeah. Here.”

    (I take a look at the ID and am utterly speechless. It is by no means a bad fake, but the kid made one mistake when he ordered it. I motion over the bar manager, because I am utterly speechless. I hand him the fake.)

    Manager: *laughing* “Kid, your fake says you are 19!”

    (Everyone in line begins laughing, and the kid takes off. I notice at least three other people in line check the date on their licenses.)


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