November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

One Pint Of Stubbornness

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a small independent pub which is near to several large chain pubs. As a result, people are sometimes put off by the fact we have slightly higher drink prices. Guinness is among one of the most expensive drinks we sell.)

Me: “Hi, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Hi there. Can I have a pint of Guinness, please?”

(I go and pour half of his pint, before returning to charge him for it.)

Me: “That will be £3.90 please.”

Customer: “What?! That’s outrageous, you can get it for £3.40 across the road!”

Me: “I understand that. Unfortunately, as we are an independent pub, we cannot afford to match the prices of the larger chains, especially with the high buy in cost of Guinness.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you make it cheaper? It’s just absurd!”

Me: “No, I have absolutely nothing to do with the prices I’m afraid. We do have [large selection of other drinks] for a lot cheaper if you’d prefer.”

Customer: “No, I’ll have the Guinness, but that’s unacceptable! How can you charge that much?! I wouldn’t work somewhere that charges so much. It’s ridiculous!”

(I keep trying to explain to him why it is so expensive and offer him alternatives but with no success. He does however pay for his drink, and I place it in front of him.)

Customer: “It’s not that I can’t afford £3.90; I can!” *shows me the money in his wallet* “But it’s the principle! Just ridiculous. Where is your sink?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your sink! I refuse to drink something that costs so much; it’s going down the drain!”

Me: “Sir, you’ve already paid for it. There is really no need for that.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll chuck it down the toilet, then. I refuse to pay that much for a drink!”

(The customer then went to the bathroom and came back seconds later with an empty pint glass, ranting loudly about high prices and how we were all c***s for charging that much. I would understand if he’d refused to pay for the drink as some people do, but paying for it to chuck it down the toilet?)

I Have A Hangry

, | Germany | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a waiter in a small bar on campus of the local university. Accordingly, most of our customers are students. I am taking an order from a customer.)

Customer: “I’d like to order a baked potato. I’d also like a dipping sauce along with that but it has to be vegan!”

Me: “Well, I don’t know for sure which of our dipping sauces are vegan. I’ll just ask in the kitchen real quick if you don’t mind.”

Customer: “No, you will stay right here! I’m hungry. I want to order NOW!”

Me: “Of course, but like I said: unfortunately, I don’t know which of our dipping sauces are vegan.” *I hesitate for a moment and add* “I’m pretty sure our ketchup is vegan, though.”

Customer: “Ugh, no thank you! What dips do you offer, then?”

Me: “We usually serve sour cream with our baked potato. We also offer Asian, mango, chili, and curry dipping sauce as well as mayonnaise and ketchup.”

Customer: “Well, what about your mango dipping sauce? Is it vegan?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I do not know that for sure. I would reckon it is. However, if I could just check with our cooking staff I could offer you a more helpful response. It won’t take a minute!”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to wait! Just give me sour cream.”

Me: “Are you sure about that? Sour cream is certainly not vegan.”


Me: “All righty, then!”

(When I served her the baked potato (with non-vegan sour cream) she apologized to me for being a nuisance. She explained that she tends to get pretty cranky when she’s hungry.)

Drinking The Tears Of Sadness

| UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work behind the bar at a concert of a [popular band]. It’s a big event, but the bar isn’t as busy as we feared, just a bit understocked. Towards the end of the show, Customer #1 comes asking for a drink.)

Me: “No problem. Will that be everything for you?”

Customer#1: “Yes, thank you. Do you accept card?”

Me: “Sorry, not tonight. But there is a cash machine outside the hall, just by the entrance.”

Customer#1: “Okay, then. I’ll go get the cash and you get that drink poured in the meantime.”

(She goes off to the lobby, so I turn to serve another person.)

Customer #2: “Hiya, I’ll have [the same drink as Customer #1].”

Me: “Sure, let me just get it for you.”

(I notice that it’s our last can of that particular beverage. After I’ve served it, Customer #1 comes back.)

Me: “Hello again. I’m terribly sorry, but it looks like we’ve just run out of [drink]. I apologize for the misinformation. Perhaps I can offer you a different drink?”

(The [popular band] starts playing another song. Customer #1 is silent for a moment or two and then she bursts into tears, unable to say a word, just standing there and trying to get herself together.)

Me: “Are you all right, ma’am?”

Customer#1: “Yes, just…” *keeps crying*

Me: “…Are you sure?”

Customer#1: *in tears* “It’s okay. Just a [different drink], please. Oh, my goodness.”

(By this point I wasn’t sure whether it was the drink, the song, or something else entirely that caused that outburst. She didn’t say another word, paid quietly, and left without her change, leaving me a generous tip. I’m confused to this day.)

Don’t Be Too Over-Beer-ing

| Helena, MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(It’s a cold night, and the bar is pretty empty as people have been advised to stay inside. One customer is at the bar, and it appears he’s been there for some time.)

Customer: “I’ll take a scotch, a beer, and a shot of gin!”

Bartender: “Um… how about we just start with the beer?”

Customer: “How about you start to shut up?”

Bartender: “If you can’t act straight, you ain’t gettin’ served.”

Customer: “Start with the beer.”

Bartender: “Okay, thank you, sir.”

They Will Be So Low When They See What Happens Next

| CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Underaged

(I’m checking IDs. A group of about five boys approach me.)

Me: “IDs, guys?”

(Customer #1 hands me his credit card instead of his ID.)

Me: “…This isn’t an ID.”

Customer #1: “Oh, right, sorry.” *he turns to his friends* “S***, bro, I’m sooooo high right now.”

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