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    Only If It Grows On Trees

    | Nottingham, UK | Money

    Me: “Hello, you’re through to the loans department. My name is [name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to check how much I could get on a loan, please.”

    (I get the persons details and check the account.)

    Me: “Thank you, Mrs. [caller]. You can have a loan of up to £900.”

    Caller: “Do I have to pay that back?”

    Embarrassingly Empathic

    | Idaho Falls, ID, USA |

    (I have a picture of my husband, daughter, and myself posted at my window. It is the picture we used for our wedding announcements. Customers often comment on what a nice picture it is. Recently I cut my hair several inches shorter.)

    Customer: *looking at the picture* “You have a very nice family.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    Customer: “You look different in the picture.”

    Me: “I recently cut my hair.”

    Customer: “It’s okay. You look younger in person.”

    Me: “Thank you?”

    Customer: “And don’t worry; I take bad pictures too!”

    Me: *speechless*

    The Biological Clock Of Impending Doom

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    (Please note that I am a young looking 21 year old. I am processing a transaction for an older gentleman.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today, sir?”

    Customer: “Are you…” *mumbles incoherently*

    Me: *thinking he said something else* “Oh, yes, I’m new! I’m [name].”

    Customer: “No, no, I asked if you were married.”

    Me: “What? Um, no, I’m not married. Not yet.”

    Customer: “Well, you’d better get on that.” *stares judgmentally and walks away*

    Patience Is Priceless

    | USA | Family & Kids, Money, Top

    (Today I am the only teller working at the bank, as the rest of my coworkers have called in sick. A little boy whose head barely peeks over the counter waves his hand with a bag of coins in it.)

    Boy: “I want to put this on my savings account! I worked hard! I’m saving money for my girlfriend’s birthday!”

    (As it happens the cash counting machine is broken, so I have to count them by hand.)

    Me: “All right, let’s see how much you got there!” *starts adding up the pennies*

    (The customer behind the boy, an elderly woman, is growing very impatient.)

    Woman: “Oh, come on! I’ve got more to do!”

    Me: “Just a moment, ma’am.” *continues counting*

    Woman: *angry* “Hurry up! My time is valuable!”

    Me: *finally finished counting* “That’s $31.75! You can buy her a handsome gift!”

    Boy: *smiles* “Yeah, she’ll be happy! Bye!” *rushes outside*

    Me: “Bye!” *to the woman* “How can I help you?”

    Woman: *confused* “Oh…I forgot…”

    Me: “Please step aside, then, so I can help the next customer…”

    Woman: *face turns red, mumbles, leaves the bank*

    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 6

    | Washington, USA |

    (A customer who doesn’t have an account wishes to cash a check drawn on the bank. However, because it’s a very large check, I am unable to complete the transaction without speaking to the maker of the check.)

    Customer: *angry* “Give me something that says you can’t negotiate this check!”

    Me: “I don’t have any kind of declined transaction form. Here’s your check back.”

    (As I attempt to explain, the customer becomes more and more hostile.)

    Customer: “I’d better speak to the vice president, or I’m calling the police!”

    (I call the police.)

    Me: “Okay, they’re on their way.”

    Customer: *confused* “…who is?”

    Me: “The police.”

    Customer: *scared* “Wait, I didn’t say to call the police!”

    Related:
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 5
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 4
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 3
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 2
    Be Careful What You Ask For

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