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    In Plain Site

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Technology

    Caller: “Your website sucks. I can’t even get last month’s statement!”

    Me: “I’d be more than happy to help, sir. You can definitely obtain last month’s statement.”

    Caller: “No, I can’t! I looked everywhere. Your website is the worst bank website I’ve ever seen!”

    Me: “I’ll show you exactly where you need to go, sir. You can obtain last month’s statement by—”

    Caller: “Even [other bank] and [another bank] have better websites than you! This is absolutely ridiculous!”

    Me: “Like I said, sir, we do have last month’s statement on our website. You can even see your statement from years ago.”

    Caller: “No, you can’t! Your website sucks! You should have last month’s statement!”

    Me: “If you can humour me, sir, please log in.”

    Caller: “Fine, I’ve logged in. You see?! I don’t see last month’s statement anywhere!”

    Me: “So you’re currently on the home page, sir?”

    Caller: “Yes!”

    Me: “Okay, now please click on “Last Statement”, which is right in the middle of the page.”

    Caller: *clicks the link and stays totally silent*

    Me: “Did you need help looking up anything else?”

    Caller: “Your website still sucks!”

    Blood Money

    , | Texas, USA | Health & Body

    (A caller is on the phone applying for a loan. We get to the part with his income.)

    Me: “Okay, where are you employed?”

    Caller: “I don’t work. I sell blood.”

    Me: *confused* “You mean at blood banks?”

    Caller: “Sometimes at blood banks. Sometimes on the street…”

    Only If It Grows On Trees

    | Nottingham, UK | Money

    Me: “Hello, you’re through to the loans department. My name is [name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to check how much I could get on a loan, please.”

    (I get the persons details and check the account.)

    Me: “Thank you, Mrs. [caller]. You can have a loan of up to £900.”

    Caller: “Do I have to pay that back?”

    Embarrassingly Empathic

    | Idaho Falls, ID, USA |

    (I have a picture of my husband, daughter, and myself posted at my window. It is the picture we used for our wedding announcements. Customers often comment on what a nice picture it is. Recently I cut my hair several inches shorter.)

    Customer: *looking at the picture* “You have a very nice family.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    Customer: “You look different in the picture.”

    Me: “I recently cut my hair.”

    Customer: “It’s okay. You look younger in person.”

    Me: “Thank you?”

    Customer: “And don’t worry; I take bad pictures too!”

    Me: *speechless*

    The Biological Clock Of Impending Doom

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    (Please note that I am a young looking 21 year old. I am processing a transaction for an older gentleman.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today, sir?”

    Customer: “Are you…” *mumbles incoherently*

    Me: *thinking he said something else* “Oh, yes, I’m new! I’m [name].”

    Customer: “No, no, I asked if you were married.”

    Me: “What? Um, no, I’m not married. Not yet.”

    Customer: “Well, you’d better get on that.” *stares judgmentally and walks away*

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