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    All Computers Come With Cache

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “How do I get money out of this account?”

    Coworker: “It’s an internet based savings account. You can transfer money from it online.”

    Customer: “Can’t I get it from a tray in my computer?”

    Coworker: *trying not to laugh* “Unfortunately that’s not a facility on your account.”

    Customer: “Well, it looks like I’ll have to change banks!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 26

    | Belgium | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work a summer job in a bank. An angry customer storms in and slams a card on the counter.)

    Customer: “I tried to get money out of the cash machine but it won’t give me anything!”

    Me: “Well, sir. It seems—”

    Customer: “I’m not poor! There’s money in my account! You can check it!”

    Me: “Well, sir—”

    Customer: “I just want my d*** money! Give it to me!”

    Me: “Sir… That’s a library card.”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 24
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    Big Brother Is Watching Itself

    | IL, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I was work as a teller. Our credit union has just gotten ID scanners. I am trying to explain the process to one credit union member after finishing his transaction.)

    Me: “We also have the option of scanning your ID so you don’t have to have it on you when you withdraw money.”

    Member: “You’d have all my information on your computer?”

    Me: “We already have most of it from when you set up your account. This just brings up your ID for transactions.”

    Member: “No, I don’t think I’ll do that. If I do that, then the government will get all the information off my license! I can’t let them have that information!”

    (The member leaves. I turn to my coworker.)

    Me: “So, he doesn’t want the government to see his government-issued license.”

    Coworker: “Apparently.”

    Not Getting The Message, Part 2

    | Sioux Falls, SD, USA | Bizarre, Money, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “My bank called and left a message for me to call them back. Should I call them back?”

    Me: “Well, that is completely up to you.”

    Customer: “Why are they calling?”

    Me: “I’m afraid that I work in a call center and not at your branch bank. I do not know why they’re calling you.”

    Customer: “Hmm.”

    (There is a prolonged moment of silence.)

    Customer: “In your opinion, what do you think they might have wanted?”

    Me: “I’m afraid I don’t know that. If you’re curious, I would suggest calling them back.”

    Customer: “Is that your opinion on what I should do?”

    Me: “Only if you’re curious.”

    Customer: “Well, I am.”

    Me: “Then, it seems like it is settled.”

    Customer: “So you think I should call them back.”

    (This back-and-forth goes on for 12 minutes.)

    Me: “Again, I don’t know why they are calling. If you want to know, you can call them. If you do not want to know, you should not call them.”

    Customer: “Okay. I’ll think about it. Thank you. Bye.”

    Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

    Related:
    Not Getting The Message

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25

    , | USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling the credit card department; my name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I wanted to see when will I receive my new credit card.”

    Me: “It will be my pleasure to assist you; can I have your social to see the application?”

    (The customer provides her social, and after checking I see there are no credit cards in process of being offered to her. Still, I check the social in our database to see if she already has an account with us and didn’t receive the card. The account is there for a $300 dollar card, all maxed out.)

    Me: “Ms. [Name], I do see that you already have an account with us. When did you apply for a second card?”

    Customer: “I didn’t apply, but I already used all the money from the first card! I was wondering when you would give me another!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 24
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

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