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    Not Getting The Message, Part 2

    | Sioux Falls, SD, USA | Bizarre, Money, Themed Giveaway

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “My bank called and left a message for me to call them back. Should I call them back?”

    Me: “Well, that is completely up to you.”

    Customer: “Why are they calling?”

    Me: “I’m afraid that I work in a call center and not at your branch bank. I do not know why they’re calling you.”

    Customer: “Hmm.”

    (There is a prolonged moment of silence.)

    Customer: “In your opinion, what do you think they might have wanted?”

    Me: “I’m afraid I don’t know that. If you’re curious, I would suggest calling them back.”

    Customer: “Is that your opinion on what I should do?”

    Me: “Only if you’re curious.”

    Customer: “Well, I am.”

    Me: “Then, it seems like it is settled.”

    Customer: “So you think I should call them back.”

    (This back-and-forth goes on for 12 minutes.)

    Me: “Again, I don’t know why they are calling. If you want to know, you can call them. If you do not want to know, you should not call them.”

    Customer: “Okay. I’ll think about it. Thank you. Bye.”

    Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

    Related:
    Not Getting The Message

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25

    , | USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling the credit card department; my name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I wanted to see when will I receive my new credit card.”

    Me: “It will be my pleasure to assist you; can I have your social to see the application?”

    (The customer provides her social, and after checking I see there are no credit cards in process of being offered to her. Still, I check the social in our database to see if she already has an account with us and didn’t receive the card. The account is there for a $300 dollar card, all maxed out.)

    Me: “Ms. [Name], I do see that you already have an account with us. When did you apply for a second card?”

    Customer: “I didn’t apply, but I already used all the money from the first card! I was wondering when you would give me another!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 24
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    Taking Account Of Your Actions

    | Newcastle, NSW, Australia | Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (I work in telephone banking for a major bank. In our system, we can see all of the customer’s call history, from wait time, last 20 calls, who the customer spoke to, and any notes left by previous bankers.)

    Me: “Hello and welcome to [Bank]; my name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Oh, thank f*** for that! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting? 35 f****** minutes! And all I wanted to do was check my balance on my credit card!”

    (I can clearly see the customer has waited a total of 25 seconds from the start of his call to speak to me.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry about any wait there, but you have come through fully identified, so thank you for putting in your customer number and access code. Now before I can—”

    Customer: “Now you just f****** wait a minute. I’ve been waiting 35 minutes to speak to you, and you aren’t even going to apologize for making me wait? What kind of f****** s*** customer service are you lot running there? Huh?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I did apologize for the wait that you experienced and I—”

    Customer: “Get your f****** manager now! I don’t have to deal with this! I demand compensation for my time and phone charges! Get your manager!”

    (I put the customer on hold and signal for a manager to take an escalated call. While I wait for my manager to arrive, I look at the customer history. I see that the customer has been with us for five years. He seems to call twice a year, and almost always demands to speak to a manager, repeatedly demanding compensation. He has been told by our relations department that they will not compensate him further because he has been given close to $2000 in refunded interest on his credit card over the five years. There is a special note from the head of the relations department simply saying ‘if customer threatens to close accounts, process request. Do not attempt win-back.’ I recap the call so far to my manager, and advise him about the notes from the relations department as well. Total wait for the caller has now been two minutes.)

    Manager: “Hello, sir, my name is [Name] and I’m a manager. How can I help?”

    Customer: “Well, hasn’t that taken you a f****** lifetime to answer?! I’m sick of this s***! I demand that I have interest repaid to my credit card or I’ll close all my accounts!”

    Manager: “Sir, I’m not going to be able to repay the interest for you, as you’ve already had close to $2000 refunded to you over the past—”

    Customer: “Well, then close my accounts! Close them now! If you can’t fulfill a simple request like that, f*** you and [Bank]! I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

    Manager: “Sir, just so I have it clear: you are formally requesting for me to close out your accounts with [Bank] right now?”

    Customer: “That’s what I f***** said; you people just—”

    Manager: “Okay, sir, as requested all your accounts are now closed. The amount you had owing on your credit card has been automatically paid from your everyday account, leaving you a balance of $52.16, which I’ll post out to you as a check. I’m sorry you’ve chosen to leave [Bank], but I hope you have a wonderful day.”

    Customer: “YOU CLOSED MY ACCOUNTS?! BUT I—”

    Manager: “You requested for them to be close on a recorded phone call where you were asked to confirm your wishes. You aren’t scamming anymore FREE money from [Bank].”

    Customer: “I…”

    Manager: “Hello?”

    Customer: *defeated* “I… err… I’ll… I’ll wait for my check.” *click*

    Didn’t Bank On That Ending

    | Eugene, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s a particularly busy day in our bank, and I’m working the drive through window. I have a long line of cars waiting, when I hear a customer in line start shouting across the lobby at the other tellers in front.)

    Customer: “Look, I’m on my work break here! Can’t you go any faster?”

    Coworker: “We’re moving as fast as we can, ma’am. We’re a bit short-staffed today, but we’ll be with you as soon as possible.”

    Customer: “But I’m on my BREAK! I have to get back to work.”

    Coworker: *still running another customer’s transaction* “Yes, ma’am, I understand.”

    Customer: “Well, what about her? Can’t she help me? I’m in a hurry!”

    (I suddenly realize that she’s referring to me, while I’m in the middle of my fifth car in a row.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, she’s currently assisting customers in our drive through. If she becomes available, she will come to the front to help whoever she can.”

    Customer: “Well, I would have driven through myself if I knew it would take this long!”

    (I continue to help cars, and after finishing the last transaction, I go to the front to help. I get the shouting customer.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, this deposit slip is for [Competing Bank].”

    (The customer turns BRIGHT RED and rushes out so fast you’d think she just robbed the place.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 24

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I get a call from a customer who is currently $50 overdrawn on her account.)

    Me: “Yes that is correct. Your account is overdrawn $50.”

    Caller: “What if I cashed one of my checks at the local currency exchange for $50, and came and deposited the cash to cover the overdraft?”

    Me: “Unfortunately you couldn’t do that, since that would bring your overdraft to $100.”

    Caller: “But the money will be coming from the currency exchange, not my bank account!”

    Me: “While the currency exchange is giving you the cash, that check will still be eventually drawn on your account here, thereby overdrawing you another $50.”

    Me: “But it’s NOT coming out of my account! It’ll be coming from the currency exchange, so I can cover my overdraft!”

    (Sadly, the conversation continues back and forth like this for several minutes until I simply tell her:)

    Me: “Whatever you do, DO NOT cash any more checks!”

    (This, she understands.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 23
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12


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