October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Tip Of The Day: How To Apply For A Federal Bailout

| New Haven, CT, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Alright sir, you’re all set. Anything else I can do for you today?”

Bank customer: *jokingly* “Yeah, you can deposit a million dollars into my account.”

Me: “Sir, if I had a dollar for every time someone said that, I’d have a million dollars.”

Bank customer: *hangs up laughing*

Taking The Supersizing Thing Too Far

| Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer is withdrawing several hundred dollars in cash.)

Me: “So, how would you like the cash today?”

Customer: “Um, I’ll take it all in the largest bills you have.”

Me: “So hundreds, then?”

Customer: “Yeah, a few hundreds, and then some 500 and 1000 dollar bills as well.”

Me: “Oh, the largest denomination we have is hundreds…”

Customer: “You see, this is exactly the type of thing that makes me not want to bank with you guys!”

God Ma’amit

| Boulder, CO, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Don’t call me ma’am, that’s rude! that’s like me calling you stupid!”

Me: “I apologize… I was just trying to be courteous.”

Customer: “I want to speak to the manager.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “You’re stupid, and he’s stupid, and everybody that works here is stupid! I’m leaving!”

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am!”

Bad News On Laundry Day

| Magnolia, TX, USA | Uncategorized

(A creepy, smelly old man with dirty clothes and a scraggly beard walks into the bank.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to **** Bank, how are you today?”

Customer: *stares, saying nothing*

Me: “How may I help you, sir?”

Customer: “I need to take $150 in quarters from my checking account.”

Me: “Ok, I can do that for you, no problem.” *taking out a withdrawal slip* “If you can just fill this out for me, I–”

Customer: “I can’t do that.” *pushes slip across the counter*

Me: “…pardon?”

Customer: “I said, I can’t do that. Do it for me.”

Me: “Sir, unfortunately I cannot do that, for security purposes.”

Customer: “Why can’t you?”

Me: “It’s to protect your identity.”

Customer: “My what? Just fill out the damn slip for me!”

Me: “Sir, I’m really sorry, but you have to fill out the withdrawal slip. At the very least, I need you to put your name down.”

Customer: “I can’t do that.”

Me: “If you pardon my asking sir, why not?”

Customer: “I don’t want to.”

Me: “I’m…sorry sir, but–”

Customer: “What kind of bank makes people do things?!” *storms out*

Financial Loaves And Fishes

| Cambridge, MA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “There seems to be a problem with my ATM card. I can’t get any money out.”

Me: “Hold on, let me check your account…you only have $3.35 in your bank account.”

Customer: “Ok, so how do we fix that?”

Page 23/26First...2122232425...Last