Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Calling At All Stations To The 19th Century
    (1,644 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Equal Opportunity Intolerance

    | Ann Arbor, MI, USA |

    (At our credit union, we have one teller with a neurological disorder that causes a constant, but mild tremor in her hands.)

    Customer: *shouts across the lobby* “Hey, you, are you the manager?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Then get your a** over here!”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “This woman is sitting here shaking in her g**d*** boots waiting on me and son because we are [race].”

    Me: “Ma‚Äôam, I assure you she is not shaking because you are [race]. She is treating you the same way she treats every member.

    Customer:¬†”NO!” *points at teller* “You are a racist! I have never seen someone so scared of [race]. This is blatant discrimination!”

    Teller: “Ma‚Äôam, I have an illness that causes me mild tremors. It has nothing to do with you.”

    Customer: “Well, I feel like I am being discriminated against. If you really do have an illness there should be a sign over your window telling people about it so they can avoid coming to your window so they don‚Äôt get scared and upset.”

    Me: “Now that would be discrimination, right?”

    Customer: *storms off*

    Oh, Bite Me

    | Auckland, New Zealand |

    Me: “Welcome to ***, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to check my balance on my account.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Can I get your customer number?”

    Customer: *gives number*

    Me: “Okay, sir. You have a balance of $513.26, and we need to get $360.00 of this paid off immediately to avoid referral to debt collection.”

    Customer: “Screw you. I’m no overstayer. Unlock my d*** account!”

    Me: “Sir, we can’t unlock the account until we’ve received some form of payment.”

    Customer: “F*** you man. I’m going to call your head office and have you deported.”

    Me: “Um, I was born in this country, so I can’t really be deported to another country. This still won’t get your account unlocked. If you can pay–”

    Customer: “Get the f***ing account turned on or I’m coming around there, and I’m going to eat you!”

    Me: “Eat… me?”

    Customer: “D*** right! I’m going to have you eaten and deported. We’re going to claim back our land and eat all you b**tards, then have you kicked out of the country!”

    Me: “Please pay your bill. I’m terminating this call.” *click*

    Always Right, Unless There’s Not Enough Light

    | Harare, Zimbabwe |

    (Note: this story takes place at a bank in Zimbabwe.)

    Teller: “Good morning sir, how may I help you?”

    Me: “Good morning, please may I withdraw 100 billion?”

    (This is about 1 US dollar.)

    Teller: “I’m very sorry sir, but we do not have enough sun.”

    Me: “What!?”

    Teller: “We cannot give you money because we do not have enough sun.”

    Me: “Why do you need sun to give me money?”

    Teller: “Oh, we are having a power cut, and the solar panel isn’t receiving enough sun to run the computers.”

    Me: *laughs* “Thank you very much for the best excuse, ever.”

    Teller: “You’re welcome sir, have a good day.”

    And We Wonder Who Clicks On Spam…

    , | Santa Ana, CA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello, I seem to have a problem with my online banking.”

    Me: “Okay, I’d be happy to help…”

    (I identify her and find nothing wrong with her accounts, flags or overdrafts.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m not seeing anything wrong on our end. Can you describe what the problem is?”

    Customer: “I don’t know what the problem is. I just got a message from you that said ‘Contact Us’.”

    Me: “Okay, can you read me the message you received?”

    Customer: “It says ‘Contact Us’.”

    Me: “That’s all, contact us and that’s it? No explanation?”

    Customer: “That’s all! It just says ‘Contact Us’ in blue letters right above my messages.”

    Me: “Wait, above your messages? You mean the link?”

    Customer: “The what?”

    Me: “Ma’am, the blue message to contact us is a hyperlink to a blank letter. It wasn’t telling you to contact us; the link is always there for feedback, like a suggestion box.”

    Customer: “Oh… well, can I please speak with your supervisor! I cannot be the only one who thought this!”

    (I transfer her over and proceed to bang my head against my keyboard.)

    Leonard Is Rolling Over In His Grave

    | Tennessee, USA |

    (An older lady calls in to see if we will waive the late fee on her credit card. I see several previous refunds and decide not to refund unless it’s a bank error.)

    Old lady: “I’m afraid I forgot to send the payment. I just lost my husband, and it’s been such a stressful month for me.”

    (I start to feel sorry for her and think maybe I can cut her a break. Then, I read the notes on the account more closely…)

    Me: “Ma’am, what was your husband’s name?”

    Old lady, sadly: “It was Leonard.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I see that you faxed us Leonard’s death certificate two years ago, so you could remove his name from the account.”

    Old lady, now indignant: “Well, it doesn’t get any easier!

    Related:
    Hippocrates Is Rolling Over In His Grave


    Page 21/23First...1920212223