A Sticky Problem

| United Kingdom | Uncategorized

Caller: “I have been asked to send in documents to get this loan. I want to know if I can have it or not.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll go and find out for you…”

(I pull up the caller’s account and look at the documents he sent in: the passport was hand drawn. It even had a stick man where the photo should be.)

Me: “Sir your loan has been rejected due to your documents being…uh…tampered with.”

Caller: *hangs up*

Economic Recession For Dummies, Part 2

| Shirley, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer is cashing in a check worth $650.00.)

Me: “How would you like that back, sir?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The cash…would you like it in large or small bills?”

Customer: “I didn’t know you had different sizes of cash. Can I see which one fits in my wallet better?”

Related:
Economic Recession For Dummies

An Inconvenient Convenience

| Cape Cod, MA, USA | Top

Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just got my statement in the mail and it says at the bottom to call this number for questions?”

Me: “Yes, that’s right.”

(A long pause follows.)

Customer: “OK, so…what are the questions?”

Me: “No ma’am, that’s in case you had any questions about your statement that you wanted to ask us.”

Customer: “Oh OK, good. Because I really don’t have the time to be answering your questions.”

A Penny Lost Is A Penny Earned

| Indiana, USA | Top

Me: “Would you like to sign up for our free checking account?”

Customer: “No, I usually keep my money in my sofa for safe keeping.”

Me: “You shouldn’t do that.”

Customer: “But it gains interest.”

Me: “How does that work?”

Customer: “When people come over, they keep losing their change in my couch.”

Fifi Feels The Sting Of Government Bailouts

, | Florida, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [bank]. This is ****, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I just went to the drive-thru at the bank’s **** location, and they were very rude!”

Me: “I’m so sorry. Please explain what happened.”

Customer: “I go there every day, and they always give my dog a doggy biscuit. Today they didn’t give him a biscuit!”

Me: “I’m sorry. What else happened?”

Customer: “Well…that’s it, but I always have my dog with me and they always give him a treat. They told me they’re not doing that anymore!”

Me: “It’s not a requirement for the bank branches to give treats to customers’ pets.”

Customer: “I’m going to close my account if they don’t start giving out treats again!”

Me: “That is your decision to make. But again, it is not a requirement for a bank branch to give your dog treats.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous!” *click*

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