Kill Bill

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Can I trade you for a better looking bill?”

(The customer hands me a nearly destroyed $20 bill.)

Me: “Sure!”

(I hand him a cleaner bill.)

Customer: “No, this isn’t what I want. Don’t you have any new ones?”

Me: “We only order new bills at the end of the year. Do you want me to see if I have a newer looking one?”

Customer: “Wait, you order the bills? I thought you printed them yourself in the back.”

Me: “No. That’s actually illegal, ma’am.”

Customer: “But my son does it all the time!”

Ink Isn’t The Only Thing Running Low

, | Location undisclosed | Uncategorized

Customer: “Whenever I try to print my statement from your website, it always comes out really light. I don’t have this problem with other websites. Are you guys out of ink?”

Me: “No. Are you using your home computer?”

Customer: “Yes. I already called the ink cartridge company. They said it’s not their fault.”

Me: “Well, if you’re trying to print at home, it’s a problem with your home computer. Our printers are working just fine.”

Customer: “So, you’re not out of ink?”

Me: “No. Maybe you should have someone look at your computer’s settings.”

Customer: “Should I call the ink cartridge company again?”

Me: “I don’t think that will fix it.”

Customer: “Okay. I’ll call the ink cartridge company again. Thanks! Bye!”

Banking Error

| Malaysia | Top

Me: “Here’s your new bank card. You will be able to change your PIN number at the ATM.”

Customer: “PIN number is a redundant phrase. It’s like ‘personal identification number’, number. You work in a bank. You ought to know that by now.”

Me: “You’re right, sir.”

Customer: *smirks* “I’m always right. So, where’s the ATM machine?”

Her Banking Days Are Numbered

| OH, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Why does the automated system say it can’t find my card!? I’ve been complaining about this for months now, and I’m really disappointed it isn’t fixed!”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. Let me see what I can find. Can I have your card number, please?”

(The caller reads off 12 numbers.)

Me: “And the last 4?”

Caller: “Oh! You need all 16? Do you suppose that’s why it couldn’t find my account?”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 9

| London, ON, Canada | Money, Uncategorized

(I’m setting a customer up for a pre-authorized payment so her checking account pays her credit card automatically on the due date. I’m going over all the details.)

Me: “If there aren’t sufficient funds in the bank account at the time of payment, an NSF fee will be charged.”

Customer: “What?! You mean I have to have money in my bank account?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

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