Featured:
  • My Roommate Is My Pet Hate
    (933 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Taking Charge Of The Charges

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hi. Thank you for calling [bank]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “I never received my statement this month! You are just sitting on it and waiting for me to be late! You want to rack up my rate and screw me over! You are even billing me for stuff I never bought!”

    Me: “Sir, what charge are you referring to?”

    Caller: “This one by [company].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m reviewing your account and I don’t see that charge on there.”

    Caller: “Are you stupid? I see it right here black and white! Are you calling me a liar?”

    Me: “No, sir. I do apologize. I’m just not able to see the charge you are referring to. Are you looking at the statement with that charge on it?”

    Caller: “Yes!”

    Me: “Okay, so I’m going to pull up the statement you’re looking at, so I can see what you see. Is it the statement that says from this month to this month?”

    Caller: “Yes!”

    Me: “And it has this balance at the top, and this transaction and this transaction on these dates?”

    Caller: “Yes!”

    Me: “Well, sir. I do see the charge here from [company]. It is showing as an escort service. It seems to be from the same company you always use. They just changed the way the name appears on the bill. Also, the statement in your hand is the one you just told me you never received. As we have now established you did in fact receive it, when can we expect the payment to be coming in?”

    Caller: *click*

    Your Finances Are In The Brown

    | NJ, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for using [bank]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “My checking account looks like it’s in the rear.”

    Automatically Teller You How To Do Your Job

    | Enfield, London, UK | Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bank]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I have a complaint.”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that, madam. What is the problem?”

    Customer: “I have an account with your bank, and just used my card in an ATM belonging to [rival bank]. I tried to take out £50. It gave me my card back, but I didn’t get the cash.”

    Me: “Sorry to hear that, madam. You will need to go into a branch of [bank] to fill out a form. They can then re-claim the money for you from [rival bank].”

    Customer: “I don’t need to do that. I have a camera on my phone.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “Look, you are wasting my time. Call your supervisor; tell them that there is a very angry woman on the line with a picture of an ATM on her phone. Then he can press the little button on his desk that will make my £50 come out. Jeez, I didn’t realise I’d need to tell you how to do your own job too.”

    Taxing Faxing, Part 9

    | WI, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I need to open an account.”

    Me: “I can help you. It appears your employer requires you use a specific internet site to do that.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “You have to go on the internet to a specific site to fill out the application.”

    Customer: “What if I don’t have a computer?”

    Me: “That’s okay. I can fax or mail one to you.”

    Customer: “You guys will mail me a computer?!”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 8
    Taxing Faxing, Part 7
    Taxing Faxing, Part 6
    Taxing Faxing, Part 5
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

    Pressing All The Wrong Buttons, Part 2

    , | Central Oklahoma, OK, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bank] credit card services. Can I have your name, please?”

    Caller: “You need to turn my d*** speakerphone on before I can talk, so I can hear you across the room!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t turn your speakerphone on for you. You have to do that yourself.”

    Caller: “All the other f***ing banks can turn it on for me! What do you mean you can’t?!”

    Me: “Sir, nobody has the ability to turn on your speakerphone for you, except for you.”

    Caller: “Well, why the h*** not?!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t reach through the phone and push the speakerphone button for you. It’s physically impossible. You have to do it yourself.”

    Caller: “What the h*** do you mean you won’t push the button for me?! Are you saying you’re not going to come push my buttons?! Where the h*** are you located?!

    Me: “Central Oklahoma, sir. You have to push your own buttons.”

    *long silence*

    Me: “Anything else I can help you with, sir?”

    Caller: “You’re too far to push my buttons anyways.” *hangs up*

    Related:
    Pressing All The Wrong Buttons

    Page 16/26First...1415161718...Last