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    Denomination Fascination

    | New York, NY, USA | Money

    (Note: I am a customer, waiting in line at a bank. I overhear the following conversation between the teller and a customer and his friend.)

    Customer: “I’d like to withdraw $160, please.”

    Teller: “Sure, no problem. How would you like that today?”

    Customer: “Umm, three fifties and a ten, please.”

    Customer’s friend: “Whoa, whoa, wait a second. The bank has ten dollar bills?!”

    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 6

    | Toronto, Canada | Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I’d like to pay my bill to [company] for $**.**.”

    Me: “Sure, ma’am. Would you like your confirmation code?”

    Caller: “Sure.”

    Me: “Okay, it’s H–”

    Caller: “How do you spell that?”

    Related:
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 5
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 4
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 3
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 2
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call

    Acting Cents-less

    | Arlington, MA, USA | Top

    Me: “And how would you like that $500?”

    Customer: “In one bill.”

    Me: *trying to be nice* “Would five hundreds do?”

    Customer: “No! One bill!”

    (I give her five hundreds, and she throws them back at me. My supervisor comes over.)

    Supervisor: “Problem?”

    Customer: “Yes, he refuses to give me what I want.”

    Supervisor: “There is no $500 bill.”

    Customer: “Yes there is!”

    Supervisor: “Not since the late 1800′s ma’am.”

    Customer: “I remember seeing it!”

    Supervisor: “Then might I say you look great for your age!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Money

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I deposited a cheque in your ATM and wanted cash back, but it won’t let me. I need that money!”

    Me: “Alright, let me just pull up your file.”

    (I find her in the system and see the deposit’s held as she’s overdue on her credit card payments by several months, which caused her accounts to freeze.)

    Me: “Your deposit was definitely completed and is in your account, but unfortunately I cannot give you any cash as your accounts are frozen.”

    Customer:”What! No! They can’t do that! That’s my money!”

    Me: “Well yes, they can, because you haven’t made a single credit card payment in months.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “So, you need to pay it back.”

    Customer: “I have to pay? Why?”

    Me: *blinks* “You didn’t know you had to pay it back?”

    Customer: “No one told me!”

    Me: “Miss, it’s a credit product, meaning you’re borrowing money from us. We don’t give money away. After you borrow the money, you’re expected to pay it back. All of it’s explained in your Card Agreement.”

    Customer: *stares blankly at me*

    Me: “The agreement you would’ve received in the mail along with your card.”

    Customer: “That sheet full of ‘garbledygook’ that no one ever reads?”

    Me: “Just because you didn’t read it doesn’t mean you’re exempt. By using the card, that means you agree to the terms associated with the card.”

    Customer: “But I need my money! They can’t do that, it’s my money! I got no job, I have no money!”

    Me: “Don’t worry, I’ll call them and speak with someone for you. We’ll figure out a solution together based on your current situation, okay?”

    (I call them and discuss with the rep, then they ask to speak to the customer. I hand the phone over, and within seconds she starts yelling.)

    Customer: "GIVE ME MY MONEY! You can’t do this! No one told me I have to pay!"

    (She slams down the phone, storms off while shouting "They won’t give me my money!" to random people on the way out.)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    Caught Red Carded

    | New Zealand | Liars & Scammers, Money

    (A customer comes in to get replacement debit card. Lost cards attract a replacement fee, but for stolen cards the fee is waived.)

    Customer: “I need to cancel my debit card and get a new one.”

    Me: “No problem. Was it lost or stolen?”

    Customer: *looks a bit confused* “I’ve only just noticed it’s missing. Does it make a difference?”

    (I explain about replacement card fee.)

    Customer: “Yeah, it think it must have been stolen when I left my wallet in the car earlier.”

    Me: “No problem. Do you happen to have any ID on you?”

    Customer: “Sure.”

    (The customer pulls out an old, tattered wallet that also clearly contains a reasonable amount of cash and gets a drivers license
    out.)

    Me: “Thanks. You were pretty lucky.”

    Customer: “How come?”

    Me: “Lucky they only stole your debit card from your wallet.”

    Customer: *suddenly looking guilty* “Yeah.”

    *pause*

    Customer: “So I’m going to charge the Replacement Card Fee?”

    Me:“Yeah.”

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