Embarrassingly Empathic

| Idaho Falls, ID, USA | Uncategorized

(I have a picture of my husband, daughter, and myself posted at my window. It is the picture we used for our wedding announcements. Customers often comment on what a nice picture it is. Recently I cut my hair several inches shorter.)

Customer: *looking at the picture* “You have a very nice family.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Customer: “You look different in the picture.”

Me: “I recently cut my hair.”

Customer: “It’s okay. You look younger in person.”

Me: “Thank you?”

Customer: “And don’t worry; I take bad pictures too!”

Me: *speechless*

The Biological Clock Of Impending Doom

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(Please note that I am a young looking 21 year old. I am processing a transaction for an older gentleman.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today, sir?”

Customer: “Are you…” *mumbles incoherently*

Me: *thinking he said something else* “Oh, yes, I’m new! I’m [name].”

Customer: “No, no, I asked if you were married.”

Me: “What? Um, no, I’m not married. Not yet.”

Customer: “Well, you’d better get on that.” *stares judgmentally and walks away*

Patience Is Priceless

| USA | Family & Kids, Money, Top

(Today I am the only teller working at the bank, as the rest of my coworkers have called in sick. A little boy whose head barely peeks over the counter waves his hand with a bag of coins in it.)

Boy: “I want to put this on my savings account! I worked hard! I’m saving money for my girlfriend’s birthday!”

(As it happens the cash counting machine is broken, so I have to count them by hand.)

Me: “All right, let’s see how much you got there!” *starts adding up the pennies*

(The customer behind the boy, an elderly woman, is growing very impatient.)

Woman: “Oh, come on! I’ve got more to do!”

Me: “Just a moment, ma’am.” *continues counting*

Woman: *angry* “Hurry up! My time is valuable!”

Me: *finally finished counting* “That’s $31.75! You can buy her a handsome gift!”

Boy: *smiles* “Yeah, she’ll be happy! Bye!” *rushes outside*

Me: “Bye!” *to the woman* “How can I help you?”

Woman: *confused* “Oh…I forgot…”

Me: “Please step aside, then, so I can help the next customer…”

Woman: *face turns red, mumbles, leaves the bank*

Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 6

| Washington, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer who doesn’t have an account wishes to cash a check drawn on the bank. However, because it’s a very large check, I am unable to complete the transaction without speaking to the maker of the check.)

Customer: *angry* “Give me something that says you can’t negotiate this check!”

Me: “I don’t have any kind of declined transaction form. Here’s your check back.”

(As I attempt to explain, the customer becomes more and more hostile.)

Customer: “I’d better speak to the vice president, or I’m calling the police!”

(I call the police.)

Me: “Okay, they’re on their way.”

Customer: *confused* “…who is?”

Me: “The police.”

Customer: *scared* “Wait, I didn’t say to call the police!”

Related:
Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 5
Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 4
Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 3
Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 2
Be Careful What You Ask For

Will Someone Please Think Of The Caviar

| Ohio, USA | Liars & Scammers

(A customer is calling in regarding a 5-day hold we have on his deposit of a personal check for $150,000. Note that in the 3 months he has been a customer, his account has been negative 60 times and has an average daily balance of $75.00—hence the hold.)

Customer: “You need to give me all my money now! My family is starving. We have no money to pay for food! I am going to the local news and telling them about how you big banks are forcing us to starve to death!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we did give you $1000 of that deposit immediately. Due to the large amount of the check, you will have to wait for the hold to be lifted.”

Customer: “But my children are starving! How can you be so cruel and starve children?!”

Me: “Sir, we are your bank. I can see everything you have spent with your debit card, and I see you went to [upscale restaurant] and spent $250 last night on dinner.”

Customer: “Well…the lobster was under-prepared. Do you really expect my children to be forced to eat like that?! This isn’t a third world country! What is wrong with you?? They are starving!”

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