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    Antisocial About The Social

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | Bad Behavior, Funny Names

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to deposit these checks.”

    (I take the checks and deposit slip, but the account number isn’t coming up, and her name isn’t, either.)

    Me: “I’m having trouble finding you in our system. Can you give me your social, and I can look for you that way?”

    Customer: “This always happens with you! Why does this happen with only you?! I don’t know how you got this job. My social is [number].”

    Me: “I found you, ma’am, but it looks like your name is hyphenated in our system, which you did not indicate on the deposit slip, and the account number you provided is incorrect. I suppose that’s why it never works when you come to me. All of the information you gave me was incorrect.”

    (The customer left red-faced. Since then, she’s gone to great lengths to be polite to me.)

    I’ve Got A Good Fee-ling About This

    | Worcester, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Money

    (I am the treasurer of a small church. I notice that we are paying a fee for every check we write. I thought maybe the bank might waive the fee for a church, so I call.)

    Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name], and I’m with [Church]. I was wondering if the bank would waive the fee we are paying on the checks we write, being a church and all?”

    Branch Manager: “Gee, I don’t know. I’ve never been asked this before. Let me call down to the main office and see what they say.”

    (30 minutes later, my phone rings. It’s the branch manager, but he thinks he is calling his main office.)

    Branch Manager: “Hi, this is [Branch Manager] at the Edgewood office. I just got a call from a customer asking if we ever waive the fee for checks because they are a church?”

    Me: *thinking fast* “Well, policy is that they must pay, but if they ask, we waive it.”

    Branch Manager: “Okay, thanks.”

    (10 minutes later, the phone rings again. This time the branch manager is actually calling me.)

    Branch Manager: “Hi, this is [Branch Manager]. I talked with the main office and they said we could waive the fee. I’ll adjust your next statement.”

    Me: “That’s great, thank you.”

    (If she questioned what had just happened, she was never going to call the main office or the customer about it.)

    A Small Charge To Cure The Hiccups

    | Germany | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I am a teller at a bank, and I have a nasty hiccup I cannot get rid of. A customer approaches me, having questions about his savings account. He also has a 50 Euro bill in his hand. I answer his questions, while trying to suppress my hiccup. When I hand him his documents he had given me before, he takes them, turns away, then turns back to me.)

    Customer: “Where are my €50 notes?”

    Me: “You did not hand it to me.”

    Customer: “I did give it to you; it was in my savings book.”

    (I panic, because our branch is pretty busy, and sometimes I forget things. I look around for the €50, even underneath the service station, but nothing. We argue about the money for a bit, and then he smiles.)

    Customer: “Sorry, I have the money. I just needed to scare you a bit to help you get rid of that hiccup.”

    (I was staring at him while he proceeded to the cashier to put the money onto his savings account. I was shocked, but he was right: my hiccups were gone!)

    You’re Parking Up The Wrong Tree

    | Escondido, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Transportation

    (I work as a security guard at a local bank. Typically my job is to open the door for people and direct people with any questions as well as to be a visual deterrent. There is a holiday parade that is running along one of the streets next to the back. I am told by my boss not to let anyone park in our lot for the parade since we have a smaller lot on a corner and do not have a lot of parking. The woman is an older lady who parks her car and proceeds to walk not towards the bank but to the street with a folding chair to watch the parade.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m very sorry but you cannot park your car there. This is private property.”

    Older Lady: “What do you mean? I can’t park here to watch the parade?”

    Me: “The bank manager was very clear that this is private property and not to allow parade parking. I’m very sorry.”

    Older Lady: “Well, the police said that they weren’t going to give out tickets because of the parking situation.”

    Me: “That is very kind of them, but unfortunately this is still private property and not open for parade parking.”

    Older Lady: “Well. the police said that I could park here and that local retailers and banks would be allowing this.”

    Me: “They didn’t talk to the branch manager, so I guess he’s not aware of this.”

    Older Lady: “If the police said it’s all right, I’m going to park here.”

    Me: “The police can’t give permission to park on private property, and the number for the towing company to retrieve your car is available on the signs that explain that this lot is for bank business only.”

    Older Lady: *full blown yelling* “Are you telling me that you know how the police work better than I do, young man?”

    Me: *still absolutely calm and polite* “Well, seeing as I have a bachelor’s in police sciences, yes. I’m pretty sure I do, actually.”

    Older Lady: “Well. Then… um…”

    Me: “There is public parking right across the street. Would you like me to go and stand in a spot for you, ma’am?”

    Older Lady: “Yes, that would be very kind of you, young man.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40

    , | Manchester, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work full time in a call centre for a major UK Bank.)

    Me: “Hello, you’re speaking to [My Name]. How I can help?”

    Customer: “I am mad about this!”

    Me: “I am sorry to hear that. How can I help?”

    Customer: “Well, frankly [My Name], I understand how you can justify this! You have ruined my day completely!”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Well, like I said, I don’t understand this. I spent all the money on my credit card and I cut it up. WHY DID I RECEIVE A BILL FOR IT?!”

    (There is a long pause while I attempt not to laugh at this.)

    Me: “You do realize that this is money you have borrowed from the bank? It is isn’t free money!”

    Customer: “But why do I have to pay? I cut it up!”

    Me: “That doesn’t invalidate the bill; this is an amount you have borrowed from the bank which needs to be repaid. Just because you throw it away doesn’t cancel the debt!”

    (After several attempts to explaining to customer that she needs to pay and the customer screaming like a banshee:)

    Customer: “But how will I pay this? Absolutely ludicrous. You people didn’t make aware of this at all! I thought it all ended if I just cut up the card. I shouldn’t have to pay this debt if I don’t have the card! I want to make a complaint about this.”

    Me: “Okay, hold the line. I will put you through to complaints.”

    (I could only imagine the pain the poor man went through on the other line, and I could only hope the customer learned a valuable lesson!)

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37

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