A Small Charge To Cure The Hiccups

| Germany | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

(I am a teller at a bank, and I have a nasty hiccup I cannot get rid of. A customer approaches me, having questions about his savings account. He also has a 50 Euro bill in his hand. I answer his questions, while trying to suppress my hiccup. When I hand him his documents he had given me before, he takes them, turns away, then turns back to me.)

Customer: “Where are my €50 notes?”

Me: “You did not hand it to me.”

Customer: “I did give it to you; it was in my savings book.”

(I panic, because our branch is pretty busy, and sometimes I forget things. I look around for the €50, even underneath the service station, but nothing. We argue about the money for a bit, and then he smiles.)

Customer: “Sorry, I have the money. I just needed to scare you a bit to help you get rid of that hiccup.”

(I was staring at him while he proceeded to the cashier to put the money onto his savings account. I was shocked, but he was right: my hiccups were gone!)

You’re Parking Up The Wrong Tree

| Escondido, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Transportation

(I work as a security guard at a local bank. Typically my job is to open the door for people and direct people with any questions as well as to be a visual deterrent. There is a holiday parade that is running along one of the streets next to the back. I am told by my boss not to let anyone park in our lot for the parade since we have a smaller lot on a corner and do not have a lot of parking. The woman is an older lady who parks her car and proceeds to walk not towards the bank but to the street with a folding chair to watch the parade.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m very sorry but you cannot park your car there. This is private property.”

Older Lady: “What do you mean? I can’t park here to watch the parade?”

Me: “The bank manager was very clear that this is private property and not to allow parade parking. I’m very sorry.”

Older Lady: “Well, the police said that they weren’t going to give out tickets because of the parking situation.”

Me: “That is very kind of them, but unfortunately this is still private property and not open for parade parking.”

Older Lady: “Well. the police said that I could park here and that local retailers and banks would be allowing this.”

Me: “They didn’t talk to the branch manager, so I guess he’s not aware of this.”

Older Lady: “If the police said it’s all right, I’m going to park here.”

Me: “The police can’t give permission to park on private property, and the number for the towing company to retrieve your car is available on the signs that explain that this lot is for bank business only.”

Older Lady: *full blown yelling* “Are you telling me that you know how the police work better than I do, young man?”

Me: *still absolutely calm and polite* “Well, seeing as I have a bachelor’s in police sciences, yes. I’m pretty sure I do, actually.”

Older Lady: “Well. Then… um…”

Me: “There is public parking right across the street. Would you like me to go and stand in a spot for you, ma’am?”

Older Lady: “Yes, that would be very kind of you, young man.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40

, | Manchester, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work full time in a call centre for a major UK Bank.)

Me: “Hello, you’re speaking to [My Name]. How I can help?”

Customer: “I am mad about this!”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that. How can I help?”

Customer: “Well, frankly [My Name], I understand how you can justify this! You have ruined my day completely!”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Well, like I said, I don’t understand this. I spent all the money on my credit card and I cut it up. WHY DID I RECEIVE A BILL FOR IT?!”

(There is a long pause while I attempt not to laugh at this.)

Me: “You do realize that this is money you have borrowed from the bank? It is isn’t free money!”

Customer: “But why do I have to pay? I cut it up!”

Me: “That doesn’t invalidate the bill; this is an amount you have borrowed from the bank which needs to be repaid. Just because you throw it away doesn’t cancel the debt!”

(After several attempts to explaining to customer that she needs to pay and the customer screaming like a banshee:)

Customer: “But how will I pay this? Absolutely ludicrous. You people didn’t make aware of this at all! I thought it all ended if I just cut up the card. I shouldn’t have to pay this debt if I don’t have the card! I want to make a complaint about this.”

Me: “Okay, hold the line. I will put you through to complaints.”

(I could only imagine the pain the poor man went through on the other line, and I could only hope the customer learned a valuable lesson!)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37

Banked That Day Off

| IL, USA | Holidays

(It’s the week of Thanksgiving. I am closing with my supervisor and another coworker. Please note that this particular coworker had an open to close shift that day and is very tired.)

Customer: *pulls up in the drive-thru* “Are you guys open on Thursday?”

Coworker: “No, we are closed for Thanksgiving. We will be open normal hours on Friday.”

Customer: “You guys should be open. What if someone needs money?”

Coworker: “Sir, will YOU be at the bank on Thursday?”

Customer: “Heck, no. I’ll be eating lots of food and spending time with my family!”

Coworker: “Exactly. And the rest of us want to do that, too. That’s why we’re not open. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Uh… no. I think I’m good.”

Coworker: “Enjoy your evening.” *customer drives off, coworker turns around to see the supervisor and me laughing our heads off*

Me: “That was great!”

Coworker: “Will I get in trouble for saying that?!”

Supervisor: “Heck, no! You tell ’em!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38

| Lexington, KY, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(As I finish up opening an account with the minimum opening deposit for a brand new customer at my in-store bank, I explain about EVERYTHING that I give him: disclosures, business card, signature card, and starter checks.)

Me: “Here are your starter checks. A lot of places won’t take them, since they don’t have your name or address printed on them, but they will work to get direct deposit set up with your employer; just write your name and addresses across the top of the check and VOID across the check.”

Customer: “So, I can use these to pay for things, right?”

Me: “Once you’ve deposited some more money in your account, you can order regular checks that more places will accept. Right now, you would have to check with the retailer. Some places might take them for smaller amounts.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

(Ten minutes later, a store employee calls me.)

Employee: “Can you verify a check for me? I know you aren’t supposed to, but the customer says you just told him he could write a check here.”

Me: “I can try. What’s the account and amount?”

Employee: “It’s [account I just opened] for $4,250.”

Me: “Yeah, not going to happen. Send him back up here and I’ll see if I can explain it better.”

(The customer returns.)

Customer: “Well, you gave me checks, so I figured I had better use them and get the stuff I needed. Our TV broke.”

Me: “As of right now, your account only has $25 in it, so you can’t write a check for more than that.”

Customer: “I have to put money in my account?!”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 37
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 36
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35

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