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  • There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid Answers

    | NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a bank’s contact center, where we frequently assist online banking customers with various things, including their online security questions.)

    Customer: “I’m locked out again! The computer asked me for my oldest sibling’s middle name, so I put my son’s middle name in there, and it said it was wrong!”

    Should Keep Better Account Of His Account, Part 2

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

    Customer: “I need help. I’ve locked myself out of my Netflix account and I can’t remember my password.”

    Me: “Okay, well you should probably call Netflix and ask them for help.”

    Customer: “But how can I get them to stop charging my bank account?”

    Me: “Call them and cancel your service.”

    Customer: “How do I call them?”

    Me: “On a phone.”

    Customer: “How do I get their number?”

    Me: “Google.”

    Should Keep Better Account Of His Account, Part 2
    Should Keep Better Account Of His Account

    Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’, Part 2

    , | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (A customer calls in to a bank call center.)

    Customer: “I need to make a deposit.”

    Me: “I can certainly help you with that deposit. What do we need to deposit? Cash, check, money order?”

    Customer: “I need to deposit money.”

    Me: “What type of deposit? There are different ways to make a deposit depending on what you need to deposit.”

    Customer: “I need to deposit cash.”

    Me: “I can find you the closest ATM so you can make your cash deposit.”

    Customer: “You mean I have to go somewhere to make the deposit?”

    Me: “Yes, if you are depositing cash.”

    Customer: “Well, can’t I just deposit it over the phone?!”

    Me: No, I’m sorry. There is not a way to deposit cash over the phone.”

    Customer: “What kind of service is this?” *click*

    Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’

    Transcending Bigotry

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Top

    (I am in a bank after losing my purse, looking visibly distressed, in the queue after dealing with a customer service agent that was no help.)

    Bank Teller: “May I help you, sir?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not a ‘sir.’”

    Bank Teller: “Oh. Do you mind if… I… uh…”

    Me: “Ask if I’m transgender?”

    Bank Teller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Yes, I am. I have just lost all my cards, and I can’t get replacements issued, because they’re saying I’m not who I say I am.”

    Bank Teller: “That’s fine. Someone I’m close to faces similar issues to you. If you can just confirm some security details, I can get you some new cards and give you some money from your account.”

    Me: “Brilliant, thank you.”

    (After confirming my details:)

    Bank Teller: “I have an idea; I could place a note on your account. It may not help, but next time you could mention that if they look in the customer notes that you are a transgender person. Here:” *shows me some text on the screen*

    Me: “That’s perfect. Thank you.”

    Bank Teller: “No worries. You shouldn’t be faced with more problems when you’re already having a bad day.”

    (Thank you, anonymous bank teller. You restored my faith in humanity!)

    Not Listening Is An Occupational Hazard

    | Kelowna, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (When a customer comes in to do a money transfer, I have to get a piece of ID and ask them two questions.)

    Me: “I just have a couple of questions before I can pay you out your money.”

    Customer: “Okay, sure.”

    Me: “What country were you born in?”

    Customer: “Canada.”

    Me: “Okay, and what is your occupation?”

    Customer: “White.”

    Me: “White?”

    Customer: *very firmly* “Yes, white.”

    Me: “Okay… So, your occupation is white?”

    Customer: “Yes.” *thinks for a moment* “Oh, wait. What’s occupation mean again?”

    Me: “What do you do for work.”

    Customer: “Oh, I thought you meant what color I am! I work in construction!”

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