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    Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’, Part 2

    , | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (A customer calls in to a bank call center.)

    Customer: “I need to make a deposit.”

    Me: “I can certainly help you with that deposit. What do we need to deposit? Cash, check, money order?”

    Customer: “I need to deposit money.”

    Me: “What type of deposit? There are different ways to make a deposit depending on what you need to deposit.”

    Customer: “I need to deposit cash.”

    Me: “I can find you the closest ATM so you can make your cash deposit.”

    Customer: “You mean I have to go somewhere to make the deposit?”

    Me: “Yes, if you are depositing cash.”

    Customer: “Well, can’t I just deposit it over the phone?!”

    Me: No, I’m sorry. There is not a way to deposit cash over the phone.”

    Customer: “What kind of service is this?” *click*

    Related:
    Gives New Meaning To ‘Phone Bill’

    Transcending Bigotry

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Top

    (I am in a bank after losing my purse, looking visibly distressed, in the queue after dealing with a customer service agent that was no help.)

    Bank Teller: “May I help you, sir?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not a ‘sir.’”

    Bank Teller: “Oh. Do you mind if… I… uh…”

    Me: “Ask if I’m transgender?”

    Bank Teller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Yes, I am. I have just lost all my cards, and I can’t get replacements issued, because they’re saying I’m not who I say I am.”

    Bank Teller: “That’s fine. Someone I’m close to faces similar issues to you. If you can just confirm some security details, I can get you some new cards and give you some money from your account.”

    Me: “Brilliant, thank you.”

    (After confirming my details:)

    Bank Teller: “I have an idea; I could place a note on your account. It may not help, but next time you could mention that if they look in the customer notes that you are a transgender person. Here:” *shows me some text on the screen*

    Me: “That’s perfect. Thank you.”

    Bank Teller: “No worries. You shouldn’t be faced with more problems when you’re already having a bad day.”

    (Thank you, anonymous bank teller. You restored my faith in humanity!)

    Not Listening Is An Occupational Hazard

    | Kelowna, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (When a customer comes in to do a money transfer, I have to get a piece of ID and ask them two questions.)

    Me: “I just have a couple of questions before I can pay you out your money.”

    Customer: “Okay, sure.”

    Me: “What country were you born in?”

    Customer: “Canada.”

    Me: “Okay, and what is your occupation?”

    Customer: “White.”

    Me: “White?”

    Customer: *very firmly* “Yes, white.”

    Me: “Okay… So, your occupation is white?”

    Customer: “Yes.” *thinks for a moment* “Oh, wait. What’s occupation mean again?”

    Me: “What do you do for work.”

    Customer: “Oh, I thought you meant what color I am! I work in construction!”

    Telltale Sign of A Good Teller

    | OH, USA | Bigotry, Money

    (I am only 19 when I start working for a large financial institution. After almost two years experience with the bank, at 21, I am still the youngest employee in the branch. I am working in the lobby with another teller who has just transferred into a branch after her position was eliminated in the back office, since she was within a year of retirement age.)

    Me: *to customer waiting in line* “Hi. How are you doing today? What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I have a question about this transaction. I think I should probably wait for the other teller.”

    Me: “Are you sure? I would be more than happy to help you with your transaction.”

    Customer: “I think the other teller would be able to help with this. I don’t think you would know the answer. She’s been here longer so knows more than you do.”

    Me: “If you would prefer to wait for [coworker], you are more than welcome to.”

    (My coworker is still trying to get used to our DOS based system. I proceed to help the next four customers waiting in line. By the time the customer goes to my coworker’s window, I am just finishing up with the fifth and last customer in the line.)

    Customer: “I have a question about a transaction that was on my overdraft protection account. Can you look into what happened?”

    Coworker: “[My Name], how do I look that up?”

    Me: “Go into [system acronym] and type in the command [more acronyms]. The account summary will be the first screen and the history is on the next.”

    (The customer stares silently.)

    Me: “I guess I would have been able to help you after all, sir.”

    (At least he had the good sense to look a bit sheepish after that.)

    Upend The Send

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (Our branch has just got a new drive through carrier system. The old system had canisters that opened the long way by flipping open but this new system has canisters that open by twisting the ends. All of the employees have been talking customers through the difference all week.)

    Me: “Hello. How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “How do I open this canister?!”

    Me: “It is different than the old canisters. These canisters open by twisting the ends. Once you’re set, send it in and I can get that taken care of for you.”

    Customer: “Well, how do I send it in?”

    Me: “Press ‘send,’ sir.”

    Customer: *dinging call button* “What does this ‘call teller’ button do?”

    Me: “It calls a teller, sir.”

    Customer: *dinging call button* “I put it in there, why won’t it go?”

    Me: “Press ‘send,’ sir.”

    Customer: *dinging call button* “It won’t go!”

    Me: “You’re pushing call…”

    Customer: “Why?!”

    Me: “Uh…”

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