Have Your Cake And Eat It

| Canada | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I am working the counter at a bakery. An older customer comes up to order.)

Customer: “Hi, can I get a chocolate croissant and red velvet cupcake please?”

Me: “Oh, good choices! The red velvet cupcake is my favorite. I was actually going to get one on my break.”

(I go to grab his order, and realize there’s only one cupcake left.)

Me: “Lucky you, you got the last one!”

Customer: “Oh… are you sure you don’t want it? I can get something else.”

Me: “It’s okay, sir; that’s just the luck of the draw I guess.”

(He reluctantly accepts. Once he pays for his food, he takes the cupcake and puts in on the counter.)

Customer: “For you, my dear.”

Me: “What? No sir, it’s really okay. I can always get one tomorrow!”

Customer: “Well, I’m leaving it on the counter and walking away. What you do with it is up to you. Have a good day!”

(True to his word, he leaves the store. I have to say it was the best cupcake I ever had!)

The Cake Is A Lie, Part 4

| WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(My grocery store bakery has started a new display in our chilled sweets case, showcasing a whole cake on a pedestal with a slice of it on a plate, along with it’s price on a tag that is clearly labeled ‘Display Only’. These cakes, since they are clearly not sold, are not changed out very often. I notice that one of the plates is behind the display cake, which I find odd. My manager also notices and laughs.)

Manager: “Did you notice this?”

(My manager holds up the slice that had been placed in back of the display.)

Me: “Oh yeah, I noticed it was in an odd spot. What’s up with it?”

(My manager brings the plate over to show me. The piece of cake has a bite taken out of it, and the fork displayed along with it is dirty.)

Manager: “A customer must have tried to eat it!”

Me: “Wow, those cakes have been in there for ever!”

(To prove a point, my manager takes the fork, and pokes at the cake. It is quite literally rock solid; it even sounds rock solid.)

Manager: “They didn’t get very far! They must have taken that one little bite and realized it was inedible.”

Me: “How the heck did they get to it?”

Manager: “Well, the front window does swing open with some effort for cleaning but…”

Me: *laughs again* “I know it says ‘display’, but come on. Display does not mean ‘sample’!”

(We can only guess that a customer tried it after the bakery closed for the day!)

Related:
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 3
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 2

Getting In A Puff About The Pastry

| Bethesda, Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Language & Words

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “That’s an almond croissant.”

Customer: “What about that one?”

Me: “A chocolate croissant.”

Customer: “And that one?”

Me: “Plain croissant.”

Customer: “Nah. What’s that?”

Me: “Pain au chocolat.”

Customer: “What the f*** does that mean?”

Me: “It’s a pastry with chocolate in it.”

Customer: “So, it’s like nutty, yeah?”

Me: “Well, we can’t guarantee it’s nut free, but the pastry just contains a roll of chocolate paste.”

Customer: “So what does ‘pain’ mean?”

Me: “It’s the French word for ‘bread’.”

Customer: “Oooh! Posh! So what’s ‘chocolat’ mean, peanuts?”

Me: “Nope, ‘chocolat’ is French for ‘chocolate’.”

Customer: “I don’t like France; too artsy-fartsy. I’ll just have one of them chocolate croissants, then.”

The Real Bread Winner

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m shopping at a bakery that’s known for making a unique loaf of bread. It usually sells out quickly. Due to the popularity of the item, customers are only allowed one loaf per visit. I’m in the long line when I see there are still some of the special loaves available. By the time I get to the front of the line, I see there’s two left: one for the older woman in front of me, and one for me. There are two cashiers, so I go to the second cashier as the first one helps the older woman.)

Cashier #2: “Hi! Welcome to [bakery]. Will this be all for you today?”

Me: “Actually, can I have one of those [special loaves]?”

Cashier #2: “Oh, sure!”

Older Woman: “What? She can’t have that! It’s mine!”

Cashier #1: “Ma’am, you already have one. We can’t allow you to have another one.”

Older Woman: “It’s not for me! It’s for my daughter!”

(She then points to the woman standing behind me, who looks equally annoyed.)

Cashier #2: “We’re sorry, but we can’t hold this for her. This customer asked for it first.”

Older Woman: “But I was here first! And I’m holding one for my daughter!”

Cashier #1: “Ma’am, we can’t do that. It’s against store policy.”

Older Woman: “Well in that case, I want to return everything! I don’t want to shop here if that’s how you treat your customers!”

(The older woman has purchased a lot of items, and begins to unload her bag onto the counter. At this point, the people in line behind us are getting agitated, and the cashiers are looking distraught. I roll my eyes.)

Me: “You know what? Just give it to the woman behind me.”

Cashier #2: “Are you sure?”

(I nod. The older woman gets a smug look, as she and her daughter leave the bakery with their items.)

Cashier #2: “We’re so sorry that happened, but thank you!”

Me: “It’s no problem. It wasn’t worth the drama.”

(I pay for my original items, and turn to leave when Cashier #1 stops me.)

Cashier #1: “Hold on a second. We just pulled out a fresh batch from the oven. Would you like one?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

(Not only was the bread I had delicious, but it was even fresher than the two the older woman got!)

Fresh Bread, Stale Attitude

| Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I work at a piroshky bakery and have just started my morning shift. A customer comes in with a very obnoxious, self-important attitude.)

Me: “Good morning, sir! What can I get for you today?”

Self-important Customer: “What’s your freshest thing?”

Me: “Well, we just opened so everything is fresh out of the oven. I could warm one up if it’s not warm enough for you.”

Self-important Customer: *shakes his head* “No, I don’t want it warmed up.”

(He looks behind me to our rack where we put our piroshkies until we need to set them out.)

Self-important Customer: *points to rack* “What’s that there on the top?”

Me: “Those are our potato mushrooms, sir, although they’ve been out of the oven about the same time as our others so it’d be easier if I just got you one from—”

Self-important Customer: “No, I want one from back there.”

(I mentally sigh but go ahead and do as he asks since it’s a slow morning and there’s only a couple people in line. I turn to grab his order but he stops me.)

Self-important Customer: “Wait!” *points at rack again* “What are those?”

(There are at least 7 different types of piroshkies on the rack.)

Me: “Um, which ones, sir?”

Self-important Customer: “Those ones!”

(I look at him quizzically.)

Self-important Customer: “The ones on the second row!”

Me: “Oh, those are our Moscows. They’ve got Bavarian cream and Cream of Wheat in it which gives it—”

Self-important Customer: “I’ll take one of those.”

(We haven’t set one out yet, so my supervisor has to take out the whole pan and sprinkle powdered sugar on it. I grab everything for him and bag it up.)

Me: “All right, sir. Is there anything else I can get for you?”

Self-important Customer: “No, that’ll be all.”

(He pays and leaves. I run through a couple more customers until I get to a young guy.)

Young Guy: *saunters up to the counter* “Hey so, uh, what’s the freshest thing you got here?”

Me: “Pretty much everything just came out the oven.”

Young Guy: “Yeah, but I want really fresh, and like, potato mushroom.”

(I sort of stare at him then move to grab a potato mushroom. He starts laughing.)

Young Guy: “I’m just kidding with you, man. Did you see that guy?” *begins to imitate him* “I want the freshest thing you got!” *goes back to normal* “You’re in a bakery in the morning, man, everything’s fresh!”

(At this point everyone in the bakery is laughing. I get his order, still chuckling, and bag everything up for him.)

Me: “That’s going to be [price], please.”

(He pays and my supervisor steps up.)

Supervisor: “Wait, give him one for free. That was too funny!”

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