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    Must Be Super Baked

    | USA | Awesome Workers, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (Our bakery is designed so that customers can see me working. There are large signs proclaiming BAKERY right above the employee door. One day I am bent over doing some intricate detail work on a trim. I am clearly wearing our uniform and appropriate apron.)

    Customer: “Do you work in the bakery?”

    (I don’t immediately respond, thinking they were addressing my coworker who is right there out on the sales floor.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Do you work in the bakery?”

    Me: *look up with a slightly incredulous look on my face* “Yes. What can I help you with?”

    (The customer asks a question which I cheerfully answer and they leave. I immediately start laughing. My coworker gives me an inquisitive look.)

    Me: “I don’t know why I keep getting that question. Next time I’m going to panic and say ‘OH, GAWD, I’M SLEEP-DECORATING AGAIN! How did I get here?!'”

    (We laughed and shook our heads and continued working in our bakery, which we then dubbed ‘The Fakery.’)

    Waiting For The Muffin (Little) Man

    | TX, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (Our chocolate chip muffins are coveted by kids as an after-school snack. We recommend that people call ahead and have us set one aside if they want to make sure we aren’t out by the time they arrive, since we stop baking muffins around midday. We will also warm up the muffins on request, but only if they will be eaten immediately, as they will be tough once they cool off.)

    Me: *answering phone* “Good afternoon, [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “THIS IS GEORGE.”

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

    Caller: “…”

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “THIS IS GEORGE.”

    Me: *making the connection between the high-pitched voice and the name of one of our regular second-grader customers* “You want me to save you a muffin, George?”

    Caller: “CHOCOLATE CHIP MUFFIN. HEATED, PLEASE.”

    Me: “I’ll wait and heat it up when you get here. See you soon, buddy.”

    When Customer Service Mutates Into Something Else

    , | NC, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

    Me: “My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “One moment, please.”

    Me: “Let me know if you have any questions.”

    Customer: “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

    Me: “The egg. So the chick could hatch.”

    Customer: “Where did the egg come from then?”

    Me: *shrugs* “Mutant ostrich.”

    Half-Baked Conviction

    | OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer calls into the bakery from another state wanting to order some baked goods for a friend of hers in our city. She begins the conversation trying to ascertain that we were a popular bakery, and that people in the city actually buy from us. This line of questioning takes about 10 minutes.)

    Caller: “Between you, me, and the light post, do your baked goods actually taste good?”

    Customers In Glass Stores Shouldn’t Throw Stones

    | Austin, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (My store is right next to a movie theater in a really rich area. The mall mostly caters to wealthy adults, and as such does not have a food court. My store is the only non-sit down food in the mall. I have just closed down for the night. My store front is glass without blinds.)

    Group Of Teenagers: *banging on the windows and doors* “Hey! Let us in! We need cookies!”

    (They then proceed to pull on the door and make all sorts of noise. Finally I confront them.)

    Me: “My store is closed. You were aware of this and still you banged on the door and nearly set off the alarm. Now you have left marks all over my windows and doors. You will clean them up now, and then you will leave.”

    (I hand them paper towels and window cleaner.)

    Lead Teenage Boy: “I don’t have to do that! You can’t make me! What’ll happen if I don’t?”

    Me: Well, [Lead Teenage Boy], not only do I know your name, as well as where you live, I can ban you from the store and have security escort you from the property. I can also look at the door carefully and if there is damage, file a report with the police department. I guess you forgot that I used to ride your bus, didn’t you?

    (They proceeded to clean up the windows and never banged on my doors again. Believe it or not, they were not the only kids whom I made clean the glass.)

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