November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Making A Good Call

| NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal

(For whatever reason, my home has always had more prank and scam calls than other people, so over the years I’ve gotten very good at getting the calls to stop. This happens on the first day of my first job. My trainer is on the phone and sighs heavily before hanging it up.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Trainer: “Prank callers. They’ve been calling all day. Sometimes they ask to order pastries we don’t have and sometimes they just giggle and hang up.”

Me: “Next time they call let me talk to them.”

Trainer: “You haven’t been taught to take phone calls.”

Me: “I’m good at dealing with prank callers. Trust me.”

(About twenty minutes later the phone rings. My trainer picks it up, sighs, and hands it to me. There’s giggling in the background.)

Caller: “Hey, do you have any um… [Name of product we don’t have].”

Me: “I understand you have been calling all day. I hope you understand that using a business number for anything other than business is against federal law, punishable by a $500 fine, and also against state law, punishable by a $2,000 fine. Additionally, we have caller ID, and can easily trace your call. Do you understand me?”

(The giggling in the background has stopped.)

Caller: “Um… yeah…”

Me: “Good.” *hangs up*

Trainer: “Is all of that legal stuff true?”

Me: “I have no idea, but they probably don’t either.”

Trainer: “Yeah, I think I’m gonna like working with you.”

(The prank callers did not call back.)

Trying To Get Bread Without Any Dough

| Australia | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I am alone at the tills of the bakery I work at. A friendly looking middle-aged lady comes up to me and I smile and greet her.)

Me: “Hi! ”

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: “What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Well, I’ve just been down at the [Bakery franchise] store in my local mall and they were telling me you have a coupon deal to get a free loaf.”

Me: *thinking she wants more details* “Yes, that’s absolutely right; we do have that deal. All you have to do is buy six tarts—”

Customer: “Oh, no, they already told me about it there. I’d just like to get it, please.”

Me: “No problem. Please give me a moment to find it. I haven’t had the chance to put one of these through yet.”

(I start quickly looking through the copious buttons on our till. The customer looks a little frustrated but waits for me to find it.)

Me: “There we are! So all I need now is your coupon and I can go box your tarts and slice up your loaf for you.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a coupon with me.”

(I’m a little a loss here after the conversation we’d just had, and I’m thinking perhaps I’d misunderstood her intentions.)

Me: “Well, we will have that deal right up to Christmas so whenever you want to come and grab it we can help you out.”

Customer: “Oh, but I want it today.”

Me: *wishing I wasn’t the only person out front* “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t put the sale through without a coupon.”

Customer: “It’s okay, though. I have it in my car.”

Me: “Oh that’s all right, then. I’d be happy to slice your loaf for you while you go and get it.”

Customer: *looking suddenly very irritated* “I don’t want to go all the way back to my car! It’s all the way on the other side of the mall. I don’t have time for that. Can’t you just give me the deal?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but without the coupon you can’t get the loaf for free.” *trying to diffuse the tension* “However, there is still a price reduction when you buy those two items together so it still comes in a bit cheaper.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t give me the loaf?!”

(I start trying to explain to her the basics of how a coupon works but she cuts me off.)

Customer: “Why should I have to show you my coupon?! I should just have to say that I have it.”

Me: “But that way everyone could just claim that they had one and get out products for free.”

Customer: “But it’s in my car!”

Me: “And again I will be happy to collect your items and keep them here while you go and grab your coupon.”

(She looks at me furiously for a minute as if I’m being the unreasonable one.)

Customer: “Fine! I’ll go and get it all the way in my car!”

(She stormed off with her trolley. Strangely enough, that customer did not return with her coupon that day. So either she was just trying to wrangle a free loaf of bread from me or she seriously needed to learn how a coupon works.)

Licked Clean(er)

| MO, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(A woman and her young child are standing in line, looking at the baked goods on display in glass cases. The child begins licking the glass.)

Coworker: “Uh, ma’am? Could you please keep your son from licking the glass?”

Female Customer: “Don’t worry about it. He’s not hurting anything.”

Coworker: “Maybe not, but I just cleaned the glass, and I’m fairly sure the cleaner is toxic when ingested.”

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 9

| Boston, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I own a small bakery/coffee shop in Boston. I have three bakers and one barista, as our customer quantity isn’t very high. It’s my barista’s day off, so a baker and I have been rotating between performing her duties and our own.)

Customer: *looks at menu* “Give me a large [smoothie], two cinnamon buns, and a loaf of bread.”

Baker #1: “Yes, sir. Anything else for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want a…” *trails off*

Me: *pokes my head out of the kitchen door* “Sorry to interrupt, sir, but my baker is needed elsewhere. [Baker #1], [Baker #2] needs your help.”

Baker #1: “Okay.” *heads to kitchen*

Customer: “I want a specialty coffee with that.”

Me: “Of course, sir. Anything else?”

Customer: “No. And I’m the owner’s husband, so I get free food.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t do that.”

Customer: “What, b****? You’re not going to give me my food? What makes you so special, you little s***?”

Me: “Sir, I refuse to give you free food. You have no connection with the owner.”

Customer: “F*** you. I demand to see the manager.”

Me: “Of course, sir.”

(I go into the kitchen and send Baker #1 out. I hear the man curse some more and demand to see the owner. Baker #1 re-enters and tells me to go back out.)

Me: “Hello again, sir. I hear you wish to speak to the owner.”

(The man stuttered, turned red, and ran off without taking his food.)

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 8
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 7
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 6

Mom’s Attitude Floored You

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A small boy, aged about six or seven, and his mother approach the counter.)

Mother: “What cake would you like?”

Boy: “That one.” *points to the last chocolate éclair in the shop*

(As I am taking it out of the display, I drop it on the floor.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. That was the last one we had.”

Mother: “Oh, don’t worry. We’ll take it anyway.”

Me: “I really can’t sell it to you; it’s been on the floor. I’m sorry.”

Boy: *excited* “Wait. Mum, you’re going to let me eat something that’s been on the floor? Really? Oh, wow, that’s great. Thanks, Mum! Wow!”

Mother: “I don’t usually let him…”

(I just gave them the cake.)