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  • Chernobyl Over Ciabatta

    | Missouri, USA | Top

    (Woman comes to my coworkers drawer and orders a loaf of ciabatta bread. Coworker rings it up and hands it to her.)

    Customer: “This isn’t a loaf of ciabatta.”

    Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, that’s our ciabatta.”

    Customer: “No, this is NOT ciabatta! You don’t know what you’re talking about! I know a loaf of ciabatta when I see one!”

    Me: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes! I ordered a loaf of ciabatta, and this is not a loaf of ciabatta!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is a loaf. See, here…it says ‘Ciabatta loaf’.”

    Customer: “No, this is ridiculous! This is not a loaf of ciabatta!”

    (At this point, the customer is hysterical, near tears, and waving the bread wildly.)

    Me: “Let me get you a manager to speak to…” *gets the manager*

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I ordered a ciabatta loaf and these kids are trying to sell me THIS!”

    Manager: “That is our loaf of ciabatta. When is the last time you visited our store?”

    Customer: “About a year ago.”

    Manager: “Ah, that’s why. We changed the size of our loaf about six months ago.”

    Customer: “Thank you! Now why couldn’t you tell me that?!” *points at me*

    Manager: “She’s only been here two months. She wouldn’t have known.”

    Customer: “PATHETIC!” *pays for bread and storms out*

    Next customer: *shocked look* “Wow.”

    Sometimes They Travel In Packs

    | Australia | Food & Drink

    (I had just arrived and was beginning my shift, when a teenage girl approached the counter.)

    Customer: “Hi…do you guys sell bread?”

    Me: “Yes we do, anything you’re looking for in particular?”

    Customer: “Yeah…”

    Me: “Which is?”

    Customer: “White bread.”

    Me: “We have several kinds of white bread, what kind would you like?”

    Customer: “Oh…whatever.”

    Me: *grabs the most expensive white bread* “Sliced?”

    Customer: “Yep.”

    Me: “Thick or thin?”

    Customer: “Oh…thick.”

    Me: *slices bread and rings everything up* “That’ll be $5.50.”

    Customer: “Is it too late to get that thin-sliced?”

    Me: “…I could get another loaf for you.”

    Customer: “Oh…nah, I wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

    Me: *hands her her change and her bread* “Have a nice day.”

    (She leaves, and a clearly intoxicated man walks over to my co-worker.)

    Man: “I LIKE YOUR BUNS!”

    (He swears loudly and walks away.)

    Co-worker: “It’s gonna be a long day.”

    Ah, Love/Hate Relationships

    | Staten Island, NY, USA |

    (A woman and her boyfriend walk into the store and up to the cake showcase.)

    Me: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I need a cake for my sister’s birthday. I want that one…” *points to the cake of her choice*

    Me: “Would you like me to write anything on it?”

    Customer: “Yeah, put ‘Happy Birthday, [sister's name]‘. No, wait… make that, ‘Happy Birthday, Slut’.”

    Customer’s boyfriend: “Do you think you should put that on her birthday cake?”

    Customer: “Yeah, why not? She a slut!”

    Customer’s boyfriend: “Yeah, you right.”

    Customer: *motions to me* “Go on, write that!”

    (I go into the back to write “Happy Birthday, Slut,” and bring the cake back out.)

    Customer: “Oh, that’s perfect! Thank you!”

    Me: “… have a nice day, ma’am.”

    Baked Goods For A Baked Customer

    | Florida, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you sell baked chicken here?”

    Me: “Sorry ma’am, this is a bakery. There is a deli a block down the road.”

    Customer: “Exactly, this is a bakery. You should have the baked chicken I need.”

    Me: “No, we sell baked goods here, like bread and cake. The deli is just a block away down [street].”

    Customer: “You sell BAKED goods at the BAKERY and I want BAKED chicken.”

    Me: *tries something different* “Umm… we’re sold out.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, I guess I’ll go to the deli down the road then.”

    Me: “…”

    Right Next To The Yeast Pie

    | Sooke, BC, Canada |

    Customer: “Where are the bread donuts?”

    Boss: “Um, sorry sir? All our donuts are a yeast base.”

    Customer: “No, no, bread donuts! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR OWN BAKING! BREAD DONUTS!”

    Boss: “I’m not sure what you mean. I’m sorry, sir.”

    (The customer storms off grumbling to himself and makes it about 10 feet.)

    Customer: “Oh! Here they are.”

    Boss: “Sir, those are bagels.”

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