Without A Cake The Birthday Boy Will Be In Tiers

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

Me: “Oh, hi. Welcome to [Bakery]. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I’d like to order a 3 tiered cake for my son’s birthday party.”

Me: “Sure, no problem. We have a design book on that table behind you where you could look at some possible designs.”

Customer: “Okay. How long would it take you to make the cake?”

Me: “Well it depends. If you get a simple design you might be able to pick it up by tomorrow afternoon, but if you get a more complicated design it make take 3 to 4 days.”

Customer: “Oh. That’s not gonna work for me.”

Me: “Why? What’s the problem?”

(The customer’s son runs inside the bakery.)

Customer’s son: “Dad, come on! The party starts in an hour!”

Short Cake, Tall Order

| Southlake, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Religion, Top

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like a cake made. Can you make a cake in about 20 minutes?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we have no available decorators at this time. I can certainly take an order for tomorrow morning, however.”

Customer: “No! That’s unacceptable! I refuse to be treated differently just because I’m Jewish!”

Me: “I’m also a Jew, but the issue is that I don’t have the proper training to make a cake for you at this time. I can place an order for you, but can do little more than that.”

Customer: “No, forget it. I refuse to be discriminated like this! I’m leaving!”

Me: “Have a nice day, and happy Hanukkah!”

Customer: “What the h*** is Hanukkah?!”

Should Have Gone For (M)Academia

| California, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

Customer: “What’s in the White Chocolate Macadamia cookie?”

Me: “White chocolate and macadamias.”

Customer: “Oh, duh,. That was a stupid question.”

Me: “It’s okay, people ask me all the time what kind of nuts are in the ‘Chocolate Almond Joy’.”

Customer: “Oh yeah, ha ha! Walnuts!”

It’s Not Just The Bread That’s Thick

| Madison, WI, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “How thick do you slice my bread?”

Me: “It depends how thick you’d like it. We have both a thin and thick slicer.” *gestures to show each thickness*

Customer: “Are you sure that’s as thick as you slice the bread? Show me a thick slice. Maybe you got it wrong.”

Me: “Okay, one moment.” *gets a thick slice of bread*

Customer: “That’s it? THAT’S your thick slice? You didn’t grab the thin by mistake?”

Me: “No, sir, I made sure to get a thick slice. I don’t have to slice it if you’d rather do it yourself.”

Customer: “No! I shouldn’t have to slice it myself to make it filling! You should change your bread. I’m used to good, thick European bread. You shouldn’t even be called a bakery, you don’t make real bread!”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t actually make the bread. I just sell it.”

Customer: “Oh, and I suppose you didn’t name the company either?”

Me: “No, I didn’t.”

Customer: “DON’T GET SMART WITH ME!”

The Custom-fur Is Always Right

| Sydney, Australia | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy a lemon and lime pie please.”

Me: “I’m sorry miss, we don’t sell those. We never have.”

Customer: “But I was so sure. Let me just check.” *pulls out phone and dials* “Hi, darling…yes, I know, but she says they don’t sell them anymore. Okay, I’ll put you on…”

Customer: “He’d like to talk to you.” *hands me the phone*

Me: “Hi, sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t sell lemon and lime pies.”

Phone: “Woof! Woof! Woof!”

Customer, to me: “You see?!”

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