July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Imagination Cake

| IL, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, sir, anything I can get for you?”

Customer: “I have a cake order to pick up!”

Me: “Okay, what is the last name on the order?”

Customer: [Last Name].

Me: “Okay I’ll be right back with your cake.”

(I bring back the cake and show the customer.)

Customer: “What’s that?! That’s not my cake?”

Me: “Oh? Okay. Is this your last name and phone number on the ticket?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s me!”

Me: “Okay, so what does the cake you ordered look like?”

Customer: “Not like that! That looks like s***!”

Me: “I’m, sorry you think that. Let’s take a look in the computer to see the cake you ordered.”

Customer: “Yeah! Let’s do that! Because this is not my cake! You don’t want my wife to come in here do you?!”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “There that’s my cake!” *he points at the computer screen, he points at the exact cake I just showed him*

Me: “Sir, that’s the same cake.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! You think I’m stupid?! I’m getting my wife!”

(About a minute later the wife comes in.)

Customers Wife: “Oh! It’s beautiful! This looks amazing!”

Customer: *looking puzzled* “This is our cake?”

Customer’s Wife: “Yeah, it’s what we ordered.”

Customer: “Oh… well… I imagined it differently.”

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Totally Estúpido, Part 2

, , | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I have a Hispanic name, but was born in raised in the United States; therefore, I have no accent. The phone rings and I’m the closest so I go to pick it up.)

Me: “Having a great day at [Restaurant]. This is [Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: *beep*

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: *beep*

Me: *I try one more time before hanging up*

Customer: “English.”

Me: *in an overly enthusiastic voice* “Having a great day at [Restaurant]. This is [Non-Hispanic Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s better. I think I got the Spanish line when I first called.”

Making A Good Call

| NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal

(For whatever reason, my home has always had more prank and scam calls than other people, so over the years I’ve gotten very good at getting the calls to stop. This happens on the first day of my first job. My trainer is on the phone and sighs heavily before hanging it up.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Trainer: “Prank callers. They’ve been calling all day. Sometimes they ask to order pastries we don’t have and sometimes they just giggle and hang up.”

Me: “Next time they call let me talk to them.”

Trainer: “You haven’t been taught to take phone calls.”

Me: “I’m good at dealing with prank callers. Trust me.”

(About twenty minutes later the phone rings. My trainer picks it up, sighs, and hands it to me. There’s giggling in the background.)

Caller: “Hey, do you have any um… [Name of product we don’t have].”

Me: “I understand you have been calling all day. I hope you understand that using a business number for anything other than business is against federal law, punishable by a $500 fine, and also against state law, punishable by a $2,000 fine. Additionally, we have caller ID, and can easily trace your call. Do you understand me?”

(The giggling in the background has stopped.)

Caller: “Um… yeah…”

Me: “Good.” *hangs up*

Trainer: “Is all of that legal stuff true?”

Me: “I have no idea, but they probably don’t either.”

Trainer: “Yeah, I think I’m gonna like working with you.”

(The prank callers did not call back.)

Trying To Get Bread Without Any Dough

| Australia | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I am alone at the tills of the bakery I work at. A friendly looking middle-aged lady comes up to me and I smile and greet her.)

Me: “Hi! ”

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: “What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Well, I’ve just been down at the [Bakery franchise] store in my local mall and they were telling me you have a coupon deal to get a free loaf.”

Me: *thinking she wants more details* “Yes, that’s absolutely right; we do have that deal. All you have to do is buy six tarts—”

Customer: “Oh, no, they already told me about it there. I’d just like to get it, please.”

Me: “No problem. Please give me a moment to find it. I haven’t had the chance to put one of these through yet.”

(I start quickly looking through the copious buttons on our till. The customer looks a little frustrated but waits for me to find it.)

Me: “There we are! So all I need now is your coupon and I can go box your tarts and slice up your loaf for you.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a coupon with me.”

(I’m a little a loss here after the conversation we’d just had, and I’m thinking perhaps I’d misunderstood her intentions.)

Me: “Well, we will have that deal right up to Christmas so whenever you want to come and grab it we can help you out.”

Customer: “Oh, but I want it today.”

Me: *wishing I wasn’t the only person out front* “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t put the sale through without a coupon.”

Customer: “It’s okay, though. I have it in my car.”

Me: “Oh that’s all right, then. I’d be happy to slice your loaf for you while you go and get it.”

Customer: *looking suddenly very irritated* “I don’t want to go all the way back to my car! It’s all the way on the other side of the mall. I don’t have time for that. Can’t you just give me the deal?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but without the coupon you can’t get the loaf for free.” *trying to diffuse the tension* “However, there is still a price reduction when you buy those two items together so it still comes in a bit cheaper.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t give me the loaf?!”

(I start trying to explain to her the basics of how a coupon works but she cuts me off.)

Customer: “Why should I have to show you my coupon?! I should just have to say that I have it.”

Me: “But that way everyone could just claim that they had one and get out products for free.”

Customer: “But it’s in my car!”

Me: “And again I will be happy to collect your items and keep them here while you go and grab your coupon.”

(She looks at me furiously for a minute as if I’m being the unreasonable one.)

Customer: “Fine! I’ll go and get it all the way in my car!”

(She stormed off with her trolley. Strangely enough, that customer did not return with her coupon that day. So either she was just trying to wrangle a free loaf of bread from me or she seriously needed to learn how a coupon works.)

Licked Clean(er)

| MO, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(A woman and her young child are standing in line, looking at the baked goods on display in glass cases. The child begins licking the glass.)

Coworker: “Uh, ma’am? Could you please keep your son from licking the glass?”

Female Customer: “Don’t worry about it. He’s not hurting anything.”

Coworker: “Maybe not, but I just cleaned the glass, and I’m fairly sure the cleaner is toxic when ingested.”

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