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    The Ugliest Person In The Room

    | Cherry Hill, NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Top

    (I work at a very well-known, national baby store, with the word ‘baby’ in the name, sitting at a desk in the store. A middle-aged, seemingly trophy wife walks in, with high heels, implants, and platinum hair.)

    Customer: “I don’t understand, like, why they don’t have more pretty people working here? Pretty people make, like, great babies!”

    Me: “Uh, yeah. Yeah, they do.”

    Customer: “Why are all the people that work here ugly? How do you people make babies?”

    Me: “I guess… like everyone else?”

    Customer: “That’s gross. They are gross. You are gross. You guys got, like, baby stuff for sale?”

    Manager: *cutting in* “We do, but it’s all for ugly people.”

    Stupid Customers Really S(UK)

    | Vernon Hills, IL, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I can’t find the product I want online, but I can find it in the UK section. Can you get it here for me?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we cannot do anything at the store level. You could try to order it online or try calling the UK directly.”

    Customer: “But, do they speak English over there?”

    On Second Thought, Mom’s Probably Been Hitting Her Head Too

    , | Amarillo, TX, USA |

    (A woman with a newborn baby walks into the store looking a little disoriented and heads towards the baby swings.)

    Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes, my child keeps falling out of the swing and hitting her head. Why is that?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, your swing must be defective. Your baby shouldn’t be able to fall out if she’s buckled in and the tray is secured.”

    Customer: “You mean I have to put the tray on?!”