My dad was a mechanic at a small shop in a small town in the early 1950s. One day, two women pulled in with a poorly running car.
Woman #1: “We’ve stopped at two different shops, and both of them told us we need a complete overhaul.”
Woman #2: “We can’t wait. Our husbands are on leave from the military and we’re on our way to meet them. It’s a two-hour trip. Is there anything that can be done to keep the car running?”
Dad had diagnosed the problem as they pulled in. The car was still running as he opened the hood and put the spark plug wire back on. The engine leveled out and was running perfectly.
When Dad refused payment, they put a five-dollar bill (a huge tip back then) on the counter, thanked him profusely, and left.
I went to a national chain muffler shop and was quoted $500 to replace everything from the catalytic converter back. It all had to go. I decided to get a second opinion at an independent exhaust place.
Mechanic: “It’s just a hole in your muffler. Figure $20 for the muffler and another $10 for labor.”
Me: “Really? [National Chain] said the pipes and both mufflers need to be replaced and quoted me $500.”
Mechanic: *Laughs* “Come with me.”
He took me into the shop where my car was still on the lift and pointed out how shiny the exhaust was compared to the rest of the bottom of the car, which was rusty.
Mechanic: “You have galvanized exhaust pipes; they’ll last longer than the car. If that guy said you had to replace your pipes, it’s because he wanted them.”
Customer: “I need an alternator for a Honda.”
Me: “Okay, what kind of Honda?”
Customer: “A sedan.”
Me: “No, I mean what model is it?”
Customer: “2005.”
Me: “I mean I need to know what kind of Honda it is. Is it an Accord, a Civic…?”
Customer: “It’s an Elantra.”
Me: “So… it’s a Hyundai Elantra. You need an alternator for a 2005 Hyundai Elantra.”
Customer: “That’s what I said, a Honda.”
I had conversations like this often.
I am installing a car battery. He turns to his eight-year-old son and says:
Customer: “See, son, this is why you go to college: so you don’t have to work jobs like this.”
The son starts giggling at me and smiling smugly. Normally, I would ignore ignorant comments like this (it happens more often than you think), but my own son of a similar age is doing his homework in the corner of the shop and has heard everything.
Me: “See, son, this is why you never be a jerk and assume someone is uneducated while they’re in college and only a few months away from getting their doctorate in physical therapy.”
Customer: *Sputtering* “But… you’re a mechanic! Why?”
Me: “Because my son and I like to eat.”
He was silent for the rest of my time on his car. I hope his son doesn’t turn into a brat.
A customer drives in with a car that has a platform mounted to the roof.
Me: “What is that platform for?”
Customer: *Completely serious.* “Well, it’s for the aliens to have a place to land when they abduct me.”
I never made the mistake of asking customers questions again.
