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    Dads: Gotta Love ‘Em

    | Massachusetts, USA | Top

    (My father owns an auto shop, where I sometimes work part time. Late one afternoon, a woman comes in.)

    Me: “May I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes. I need my car inspected.”

    Me: “Well, we’re not taking any more inspections this afternoon. May I schedule you for tomorrow?”

    Customer: “No, I want my car inspected now.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we take in our last inspection at 4:00 so we have time to pack up and shut down the machine.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I just bought my car from *** and they told me I could bring my car here to get inspected for free.”

    Me: “Yes, they will pay for your inspection here, but we’re closing soon. I’d be happy to schedule you an appointment for another day.”

    Customer: “No! This is an outrage! At *** they told me I could bring in my car ANY TIME to be inspected here!”

    Me: “Um… well…”

    Customer: “I want my car inspected RIGHT NOW. They told me I could have it inspected any time!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s 4:45 and we are closing in 15 minutes. We don’t have time…”

    Customer: “Where is your manager!? I want to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Um… I’m afraid he’s out test driving a car.”

    Customer: “That’s unacceptable! Is there anyone else I can talk to? I need to get my car inspected!”

    Me: “Hold on…”

    (I go out into the shop and check, but sure enough the only other person still here this late is the trainee mechanic. The woman proceeds to yell at us for about ten minutes. Eventually, my dad returns from his test drive.)

    Me: “Dad, can you help this woman?”

    Dad: “What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “I brought my car here from *** for an inspection but they won’t give one to me!”

    (My dad proceeds to tell her everything I told her, smiling through all her abuse. Eventually…)

    Customer: “Fine! This is an outrage! I’m going to write a complaint letter to *** about you!”

    Dad: “Yeah, good luck with that.”

    Me: “My God.”

    Dad: “Let me give you a little advice about people like that. When somebody gets all worked up at you like that, you need to remain calm. Because the calmer you are, the angrier they get, and it’s REALLY funny.”

    Welcome To Earth, Population: Me

    | New York, NY, USA |

    (A customer calls to ask if his car is ready to be picked up.)

    Caller: “Is my car ready to be picked up?”

    Me: “I can check for you, sir. Which car is it?”

    Caller: “The one I dropped off this morning.”

    Me: “Right, and which one would that be?”

    Caller: “The one that I dropped off today.”

    Me: “Sir, we have a lot of customers on a daily basis. I can’t go on that alone…”

    Caller: “I dropped it off this morning!”

    Me: “Sir, lots of people dropped their cars off this morning. You need to tell me more. The license plate number, or what you dropped it off for, for example?”

    Caller: “It’s the car that I dropped off this morning!”

    In That Case, Replace Them Daily

    , | Redwood City, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Could you check my brakes and see if they are bad?”

    Coworker: “Of course. Which vehicle is yours?”

    Customer: “Oh, I walked here.”

    Coworker: “Ok, well we can’t check your brakes if the car isn’t here.”

    Customer: “I told you I walked here. I just want to know if I need new brakes.”

    Coworker: “I can’t tell you that unless I actually see the vehicle.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just tell me if I need new brakes for my car? It’s a Mercedes if that helps at all.”

    Coworker: “Like I said, I need to see the car to tell you if you need new brakes.”

    Customer: “OK, so can you tell me if my brakes are bad?”

    Me: “We physically need the car here in front of us so we can look at the brakes with our own eyes and determine if they are bad or not.”

    Customer: “It’s a Mercedes.”

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