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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Suffocatingly Insufferable

    | Michigan, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I work in an enclosed collision center where the customer can drive in for an estimate. We therefore ask all customers to turn off their vehicle while it’s inside to prevent the fumes from building up.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! Can you please turn your vehicle off and we can start the estimate?”

    Customer: “No, I will not! My children are in the car. It is far too hot for them!”

    Me: “We have to have the vehicle turned off. The fumes can build up in here very quickly making everyone—including your children—very sick.”

    Customer: “I care that my children are too HOT. I don’t care if they get SICK!”

    You Just Got Ownered

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Top, Transportation

    (My brothers-in-law own a garage and tow business. A very angry customer calls up one night with problems, so we send one of our tow truck drivers to tow his car.)

    Tow Truck Driver: “So, what happened?”

    Customer: “Just get the car towed and shut the f*** up!”

    Tow Truck Driver: *gets into the car to check it*

    Customer: “What are you doing?! I tried that! It doesn’t work! Just get the car home, you dumb f***!”

    (Our driver obliges the customer and tows his vehicle to his home. As soon as his car is in the driveway, the customer jumps right into his car, tries the key, and starts the car right up.)

    Customer: “Well, I guess I don’t have to pay you, right?”

    Tow Truck Driver: “No, sir, I still towed the car. You will have to pay.”

    Customer: “But the car works! You should have known that!”

    Tow Truck Driver: “Well, I tried to ask and check the car, but you didn’t want me to. You told me to just tow it.”

    Customer: “You should have checked. I’m not paying!”

    (Not wanting a fight, our driver tells the man he’ll have to come down to the shop the next day. The next day, he comes in and finds one of my brothers-in-law at the garage.)

    My Brother-in-law: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m very upset! The druggie who towed my car is trying to rip me off. Who hires such lowlifes? I’m not paying!”

    My Brother-in-law: “Sir, the driver tried to check your car, and you stopped him and told him to just tow it. It’s not his fault.”

    Customer: “This is f***ing ridiculous! I want that f***ing peon fired! He’s using my money for his drug habit, and he should’ve known my car was okay!”

    My Brother-in-law: “Sir, you need to calm down or this conversation is finished.”

    Customer: “Now I’m getting it from YOU! Another f***ing peon working a desk! How dare you?! You little s***s are all getting fired. Where’s your manager?!”

    My Brother-in-law: “Well, you see, sir, he’s the tow manager, so he can’t really fire himself—”

    Customer: “Now you’re being f***ing flip with me?! Where’s your manager?!”

    My Brother-in-law: “—and I’m the owner, so none of that’s gonna happen.”

    Customer: *shuts up, defeated*

    My Brother-in-law: “It just keeps getting worse and worse, doesn’t it?”

    (The customer left… after paying.)

    Satisfaction Level: Impossible

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

    (I am the manager on duty on a Sunday afternoon when I receive a phone call from an upset lady.)

    Caller: “I need to complain about my car I had there on Friday night before you closed. They didn’t fix my car!”

    Me: “Did they say why not?”

    Caller: “They made up something about not having a part, but I know it was because they were lazy and didn’t want to fix it!”

    Me: “Well, that’s a bit unusual. My guys get paid on commission and want to do every job possible so they can make more money.”

    Caller: “No! They were just being lazy! I had to take my car to the dealership on Monday and they were able to fix it right away!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the dealership carries all of those parts. That’s where we get our parts from if we can’t get them from any other source. If it was late on a Friday night, the dealership was probably already closed.”

    Caller: “Bull****! I am VERY upset about your poor service! I thought you were the manager! I want to know what you are going to do for me about this!”

    Me: “I’m sorry we weren’t able to help you to your satisfaction, ma’am. I can’t give you a refund because we didn’t charge you anything. I’d offer to fix the car at a discount, but you say it’s already been fixed. What is it you would like for me to do for you, ma’am?”

    Caller: “Well, you know what you’re supposed to do in these cases!”

    Me: “Well, normally I’d offer a discount or a refund, but neither of those would help you. Is there anything else I can offer you? I am sorry for your inconvenience.”

    Caller: “I don’t want your stupid apology! I can’t believe you are refusing to help me!”

    Me: “I’m not refusing, Ma’am. I just don’t know what it is you want.”

    Caller: “You know what I want!! I want you to do what you’re supposed to!”

    Me: “And what is that?”

    Caller: “You know what you’re supposed to do! I’m going to call your corporate office and have you fired!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t tell me what it is you want, I don’t know what to do for you.”

    Caller: “Don’t give me that! I’m going to have you fired!” *hangs up*

    Brakes Can Drive You Crazy

    | Austin, TX, USA | Extra Stupid

    (My manager is talking to a customer about what they need fixed on their car. I often eavesdrop so I can hear from a person’s own words what is wrong. It often helps me to diagnose the problem.)

    Customer: “The truck isn’t running right. It doesn’t have power and runs rough.”

    Me: “Well, when do you notice the problem?’

    Customer: “When I’m slowing down.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, it doesn’t have power when braking? ”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Do you mean the brakes don’t feel right?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “What about when you get back on the gas pedal? Does it go fine?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes it has plenty of power then.”

    Me: “So, when you are on the brakes and slowing down, the truck doesn’t have power, but when you get back on the throttle it has plenty of power?”

    Customer: “Exactly.”

    Me: *speechless*

    (We take the car in and run full diagnostics. I never found anything wrong with the truck. It ran like it was brand new and had very few miles on it.)

    The Stupidity Never Stops

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: "Well, we performed the courtesy inspection we discussed this morning and found your front brakes at minimum specification. We do recommend getting your pads and rotors replaced at $**."

    Customer: *in a whiney tone* "Do I have to?"

    Me: "If you never need to stop your vehicle, I wouldn’t worry about it."


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