Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

They’ll Always Be Caught With Their Pants Down

, , , , , | Right | March 17, 2024

In the UK, “pants” typically means what Americans would call “underwear”, and they use “trousers” to mean what Americans call “pants”.

Customer: *In an English accent* “‘Scuse me. Where can I find boys’ pants?”

Employee: “Right over… Sorry, do you mean in the American or the British sense?”

Customer: “Just pants!”

Employee: “Right, but… trousers or underwear?”

Customer: “What? Neither! Pants!”

Employee: “Uh… children’s clothes are right over there.”

A few minutes later, the customer comes back, gesturing at her basket.

Customer: “Look, this is what I meant! No American or British or anything. Pants!”

Employee: “Ma’am, those are socks.”

The Miracle This Christmas Is Calling The Customer Out For Their BS

, , , , , , , | Right | December 22, 2023

I noticed that a family was in the store for a long time. Given that it was Christmas time, I didn’t think too much of it until it came time to check them out. The family split up and the daughter came up first with her items.

As I rang them up, I began noticing that the clearance tag SKUs weren’t matching the original tags. Immediately, I knew what was happening: switched tickets. I began nonchalantly pulling the clearance tags off and scanning the original prices.

Customer: “Oh, that’s not on clearance?”

Me: “No, the price is $44.99, not $2.99.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll leave that.”

This same conversation happened about ten more times with different items; she kept some and left some. She paid and waited for her mother.

Eventually, the mother came up and proceeded to load her items on the counter. Unsurprisingly, the same thing happened, and I proceeded to do the exact same thing, taking all the switched tickets off and scanning the original prices. At this point, they weren’t protesting the so-called clearance prices. The mother paid and moved over.

For the last transaction, the daughter decided to purchase some of the items she had put back because of “wrong pricing”. When I finished scanning, the total came up to about $345. If I would have ignored the switched tags, their total would have been roughly $76.

Customer: *Swipes card: DECLINED*

Customer: *Swipes card: DECLINED*

Customer: *Swipes card: DECLINED*

Customer: “Why is the total so high? I only got four items.”

Me: “There are eighteen items in this transaction; I rang up eighteen items.”

Customer: “No, you added things on there that we are not getting.”

Me: “No, I didn’t.”

I proceeded to look through the bags and pull out items they had stuffed in previously purchased bags.

Customer: “No, those items were already paid for.”

I was completely fed up with the arguing at this point and snapped.

Me: “Look. Switching the tags on almost all your previous transaction items was enough. We are not doing this.”

Cue the shocked face from the customer because I had just called her out on their bulls***. She began to argue again and ended up shoving the items at me; they still had the other twelve unpaid-for items stuffed in other items they had purchased.

I told them to have a good night.

Customer: “Just to let you know, it’s horrible customer service to accuse someone of stealing.”

Me: “Merry Christmas.”

The customers set the alarm off as they left. Oops, I must have “forgotten” to take a security tag off.

The family was escorted back in by security, and I proceeded to go through every bag to find the sensor and take out the items that weren’t paid for by reconciling them with their two previous receipts.

They stayed in the parking lot until we closed, roughly two hours later. I called the police to do a parking lot patrol at midnight. They left.

Paying Extra Rome-ing Charges

, , , , , , , | Right | November 23, 2023

A customer storms up to the counter looking angry.

Customer: “My wife ordered a sofa, and it hasn’t arrived yet! What the f*** is taking you guys so long?!”

Me: “Did the company you ordered it from provide a shipping or tracking number?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t see why it’s taking so long! It’s not even coming from outside the state! You had better pray you haven’t lost it! It’s an expensive sofa made by an Italian designer! It’s worth $5,000!”

I look up the tracking number the customer provides to me, and I raise an eyebrow.

Me: “Sir, this item has just left Italy. It’s coming via shipping container, so it might be some time — possibly a few months — before we have it here in Georgia.”

Customer: “What the f*** was it doing in Italy?! We ordered it from a company in Rome!”

Me: “Sir, you ordered an Italian sofa from Rome, and you thought it was coming from Rome, Georgia?”

Customer: “Where else would it be coming from?!”

Me: “Rome, Italy?”

Customer: “Well… how was I supposed to know there was a Rome in Italy?!”

A Hair Misheard

, , , , , , , , | Working | September 17, 2023

I’m in the staff break room, and [Coworker #1] is doing a crossword.

Coworker #1: “Hey, what’s that fancy word for a wig?”

Me: “Hairpiece?”

Coworker #1: “Too many letters. What’s that fancy French word I’m thinking of, though?”

Coworker #2: “Oh! Lopayseeya!”

Me: “Lopa… What? I’ve never heard that.”

Coworker #2: “Oh, yeah, [Boss] told me about it when she showed me her wig.”

Me: “Huh. Well, she wears a wig; I guess she’d know.”

Coworker #1: “Hold on a second. Did she tell you about her wig and then say something like, ‘I have a lopaseeya?'”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, exactly!”

Coworker #1: “[Coworker #2], she has alopecia.”

We had to find it online to make him believe alopecia was real. We also found the word “toupee”.

Im-possum-ble Working Conditions

, , , , , , , , | Working | September 5, 2023

I’ve just pulled up to the drive-thru speaker at a fast food restaurant.

Employee: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

Me: “Hi. Can I get—”

Employee: “AH, F***, HE’S BACK! [OTHER EMPLOYEE], HE’S IN THE KITCHEN! HELP ME!”

I pull out my phone and dial nine and one. I’m about to hit the final one when the drive-thru window pops open and an opossum goes flying out.

Employee: *Clearly out of breath* “Sorry… We’re… closed, due to, uh, sanitary reasons…”

Me: “…did it bite you?”

Employee: “Nah, he got a mouth full of chicken and he was not letting go.”