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    May Be Stupid But Having A Ball

    | Bangor, ME, USA |

    Customer: “The stop button on your roulette wheel isn’t working.”

    Me: “Let me see.”

    (I put a token into the machine. I allow the customer to play to show me what’s wrong.)

    Customer: “See, now when I hit the stop button, it keeps going.”

    Me: “The stop button only starts it slowing down to stop.”

    Customer: “No, I mean the ball.”

    Me: “Sir, the button does not control the ball.”

    Customer: “What does?”

    Me: “Physics?”

    Braving The Wild Arctic Terrain, One Token At A Time

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    (A customer asked me to help with the Skee-Ball machine.)

    Me: “Is the machine broken or malfunctioning?”

    Customer: “Do you know where the skis are?”

    Me: “…excuse me?”

    Customer:Ski ball. Where are the skis for me to play with?”

    Me: “Skis?”

    Customer: “As in cross-country skis?”

    Me: “this isn’t that kind of Skee-Ball. You pick up the ball and roll it up there.”

    Customer: “Then why is there a slope with a ramp on it at the end?”

    Me: “For you to roll the ball up?”

    Customer: “IT’S A SKI SLOPE! Although it’s kind of…backwards.” *examines the machine*

    Tweedledee and Tweedledum

    | Santa Cruz, CA, USA |

    (…so it was my job to exchange prizes for tickets. A customer comes up to me and I count their tickets.)

    Me: “You have 24 tickets.”

    (Customer looks around at prizes.)

    Customer: “How much is that remote control car?”

    Me: “That’s 600 tickets. You should probably look at the smaller prizes you can afford, like the rings and rubber snakes. They are only two tickets each.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll take that lava lamp.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the lava lamp is 14,000 tickets and you have 24 so I highly suggest looking at cheaper prizes like these rubber snakes.”

    (Customer finally decides he needs to go get more tickets and returns to playing games. Another customer approaches and I count their tickets.)

    Me: “You have 650 tickets.”

    Another Customer: “Okay, I’d like 80 of the snakes but only red and green ones.”

    Me: “Wouldn’t you prefer a remote control car or this water gun?”

    Another Customer: “No, I want snakes!”

    On The Futility Of Signs

    | Flagstaff, AZ, USA | Top

    (One customer complains about a game that is not giving tickets. Upon looking at the game, I discover that a fuse is blown. I place several “Out of Order” stickers over the coin slot and refund the customer. Two minutes later another customer approaches.)

    Customer: “I just put a coin in this game and won tickets but none came out.”

    Me: “I placed an ‘Out of Order’ sticker on the coin slot. Is it not on there anymore?”

    Customer: “You mean these? They were in the way so I removed them. Can I get a refund?”

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