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  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
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    A Sign Of The Times

    | Manitou Springs, CO, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: I am working the ticket counter giving out prizes. A guy and his teenage daughter are examining a glass display case with stuff inside. Suddenly, the daughter backs up a foot and launches herself directly into the case, almost knocking it over.)

    Me: “Please do NOT push on the glass!”

    Father: *angrily* “Well, there should be a sign or something! How was she supposed to know that would happen?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but people don’t generally throw themselves in to our GLASS cases.”

    Father: “Well, there should be a sign! Geeze!” *storms out*

    Less Is More, More Or Less

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink, Money, Top

    Me: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I have two coupons here. One is a large pizza, four sodas, and 70 tokens for $29.99. The other is for a large pizza, four sodas, wings, and 110 tokens for $29.99. Which one is better?”

    Me: “Well, I’d personally go with the second one. It’s the same price, plus you get an extra order of wings and 40 more tokens.”

    Customer: “You’re just trying to get more money off of me, so you picked the worse deal. I’ll take the first coupon, idiot!”

    SASS: Subtle Artificial Sassy Server

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I’m working the cash register at an arcade. This arcade is known for having an animatronic band that performs.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Medium pizza, pepperoni on half…” *mumbles and trails off*

    Me: “Can you please repeat that last part?”

    Customer: *mumbles*

    Me: “I’m sorry, a medium pizza with pepperoni on half and what else?”

    Customer, to his son: “Now look at how cheap this technology is. It can’t even tell what I’m saying! D*** robots.”

    Me: “Um…sir? Is there a problem?”

    Guest, to his son: “Look! It can tell I’m a man. Maybe this hunk of metal isn’t that bad. It does look pretty real. I just wonder why they didn’t make it thinner and cuter.”

    Me: “Oh, thanks. Maybe it’s ’cause I’m not a robot?”

    Customer: “Sure you’re not.”

    (He later gets into an argument with a manager and accuses him of being a robot. He then tries to “ruin the scrap metal” by throwing a glass of water at him.)

    May Be Stupid But Having A Ball

    | Bangor, ME, USA |

    Customer: “The stop button on your roulette wheel isn’t working.”

    Me: “Let me see.”

    (I put a token into the machine. I allow the customer to play to show me what’s wrong.)

    Customer: “See, now when I hit the stop button, it keeps going.”

    Me: “The stop button only starts it slowing down to stop.”

    Customer: “No, I mean the ball.”

    Me: “Sir, the button does not control the ball.”

    Customer: “What does?”

    Me: “Physics?”

    Braving The Wild Arctic Terrain, One Token At A Time

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    (A customer asked me to help with the Skee-Ball machine.)

    Me: “Is the machine broken or malfunctioning?”

    Customer: “Do you know where the skis are?”

    Me: “…excuse me?”

    Customer:Ski ball. Where are the skis for me to play with?”

    Me: “Skis?”

    Customer: “As in cross-country skis?”

    Me: “this isn’t that kind of Skee-Ball. You pick up the ball and roll it up there.”

    Customer: “Then why is there a slope with a ramp on it at the end?”

    Me: “For you to roll the ball up?”

    Customer: “IT’S A SKI SLOPE! Although it’s kind of…backwards.” *examines the machine*


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