November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Sea Lions Totally Rock

| Newport, OR, USA | Uncategorized

(I am giving a tour to a group of people about sea lions. I am pointing out the sea lions through the glass cage and introducing them to the group.)

Woman: “What’s that sea lion over there doing? He seems very still.”

Child: “Mom, that’s a rock.”

With Customers Like These, Who Needs Anemones

| Seattle, WA, USA | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

Guest: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Me: “Hi there! Do you have a question?”

Guest: “Yes. What is this?” *points to a specimen*

Me: “That is called a sea anemone.”

Guest: “Oh…” *walks away, only to walk back a few moments later* “What are they the enemies of?”

In Desperate Need Of A Cellphone

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I bought tickets online, but my printer doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay. Well, if you want, you can print it out here.”

Customer: “Well, I actually brought my laptop.”

(He shows me his laptop with the tickets on the screen.)

Customer: “Can I get in with this?”

Me: “Yeah, here are your wristbands.”

Customer: “Okay thanks. Do I have to show my laptop at the gate or can I put it away?”

Got An Urgin’ For Some Urchin

| Seattle, WA, USA | Top

(At the aquarium where I volunteer, a guest sticks her whole hand in our touch tank, rips off a sea urchin and proceeds to stuff it in her bag.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but you can’t do that.”

Guest: “What do you mean?”

Me: “You can’t rip the urchin off the tank’s wall. Could you please hand me it?”

Guest: “But I was going to take it home and eat it. Isn’t that okay?”

Bird Brained, Part 4

| Mystic, CT, USA | Uncategorized

(I have just finished talking to a group of people at the penguin exhibit when a middle-age man approaches me.)

Customer: “I really love penguins. My wife and I saw some on our trip to Alaska last summer.”

Me: “Oh, did you go to the Alaskan Sea Life Center? I hear it’s very nice.”

Customer: “No, we saw them when we were walking on the beach.”

Me: “Actually, sir, wild penguins only live in the southern hemisphere. What you and your wife saw were most likely puffins. They look very similar to penguins, but they can fly and are commonly seen in places like Alaska.”

Customer: “No, they were penguins. I’m not stupid! I think I know a penguin when it flies right in front of me.”

Me: “Penguins can’t fly, sir.”

Customer: “All birds fly!”

Me: “No, not all of them. Ostriches, for example, can’t fly either.”

Customer: “Ostriches are birds?”

Bird Brained
Bird Brained, Part 2
Bird Brained, Part 3